[Sofia Bunny]

You look amazing! very Fem and Happy!
I am 40 and decided to embrace what I ve been fighting for so many years.Welcome to the roller coaster ride!

Thank you so much, you look pretty amazing yourself! I was extremely happy that day, more so than I've been in a long while. Hopefully I maintain my sanity this week since I'm on my break this week. Last month during my break I got a bit emotional towards the end.

[Sofia Bunny]

So as the week has progressed and I travel back home I cannot help but ponder on things. I have thus far not noticed any massive mood swings, no emotional outburts, if anything, I feel... Indifferent.

I look back to the week before and can see the joy and excitement in my face, but I cannot feel it anymore. I can't help but wonder where it went. Perhaps I am just overwhelmed with all this work looming over me, both professionally and at home. Perhaps it is my drop in herbal dosage causing some odd effects on my mind. There are numerous possibilities, or maybe just nothing at all.

So if I start to dig at the idea that perhaps my dosage is affecting my current state of being, I wonder if Sofia came to be because my regiment altered my state of mind. If Sofia is a result of my regiment and I discontinue my regiment, would Sofia fade away? If that were true, then would discontinuing my regiment indefinitely result in my no longer desiring to have breasts. If that's true, then I can't help but ponder if at that point would I look back at what I've done to myself and say... WHAT HAVE I DONE???

So what if everything I have currently become is just a result of a chemical change in my brain due to the herbs I took. And that chemical change is what brought about my desires to feminize myself. Looking back, my original intentions were just to get some breast development, and yet as time has passed I've wanted more, and have somewhat become more.

My curious nature has me wanting to test this out and see where it goes. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately I am already conducting an experiment and I still have two maybe three more months before I can test the results of that experiment. (Testing the effects of green tea extract consumption if it is indeed increasing my E or not, will run a blood test at the end of the 3rd or 4th month).

I guess we'll see if I ever test out that particular path or not. As for now, I shall continue to ponder over my current indifference.

[Sofia Bunny]

Ha ha ha ha, oh my gosh, WHAT HAVE I DONE??? Lol. I totally mean that in a good way. So I decided to work on piecing my before and after pictures together and started looking at my original pictures and thought to myself... Eww, who is that gross man. Then it sank in that it was me.

It fully hit at that point, I don't want to experiment with a long break to see what it does to me. I don't care if the herbs have chemically forcefully changed my brain. I love my new body and what it is becoming, I love the new me! I can't wait for Monday so I can resume my regiment!

Sometimes I really hate my brain, too many thoughts, too many what ifs, an endless sea of scenarios, possibilities, and outcomes. Oh well, guess I'm just wired that way. Still, I miss that feeling I had last week. I want to feel that again, I want to be free and... Okay, sorry I have to stop... I'm in a plane and my eyes are getting really glossy. The

[tanysquirrel]

Ha ha ha ha, oh my gosh, WHAT HAVE I DONE??? Lol. I totally mean that in a good way. So I decided to work on piecing my before and after pictures together and started looking at my original pictures and thought to myself... Eww, who is that gross man. Then it sank in that it was me.

It fully hit at that point, I don't want to experiment with a long break to see what it does to me. I don't care if the herbs have chemically forcefully changed my brain. I love my new body and what it is becoming, I love the new me! I can't wait for Monday so I can resume my regiment!

Sometimes I really hate my brain, too many thoughts, too many what ifs, an endless sea of scenarios, possibilities, and outcomes. Oh well, guess I'm just wired that way. Still, I miss that feeling I had last week. I want to feel that again, I want to be free and... Okay, sorry I have to stop... I'm in a plane and my eyes are getting really glossy. The

and so it begins (giggle)

[Happyme]

Sophia,
Your suffering for the "wow brand new first time euphoria syndrome".
Just like the the first love, first sex, first beer, first cigarette, first dynamic kiss, etc.
You can never get that feeling back again, and right now its hard to think that you can top that experience either.
You have seen the other side and it was you. Welcome to the journey of your life, Like Tanya said 'so it begins!'
Hugs
Bobbi

[Sofia Bunny]

and so it begins (giggle)

But is it the beginning of the end...

[Sofia Bunny]

Sophia,
Your suffering for the "wow brand new first time euphoria syndrome".
Just like the the first love, first sex, first beer, first cigarette, first dynamic kiss, etc.
You can never get that feeling back again, and right now its hard to think that you can top that experience either.
You have seen the other side and it was you. Welcome to the journey of your life, Like Tanya said 'so it begins!'
Hugs
Bobbi

You're quite possibly right Bobbi, perhaps why my interest has turned towards going out dressed. It would be new, and quite possibly exhilarating. *sigh* I fear I may have traded in one vice for another. It is probably a damn good thing I never got into drugs.

I just want what any normal person wants, to feel happy and complete. I don't feel like it's asking for much, but when I stare at it, it seems damn near impossible. Some days I feel like what's the point and would rather drown myself in work than deal with reality. Ha ha, just realized that's probably why people think I'm a workaholic. Oops.

[Happyme]

Hi Sophia,
I like that a lot more that writing fire and ice all the time. :-)
You and I have the same mentality when it comes to our dressing.
When I have a very interesting work task that keeps my mind busy during the day and I'm still pondering when I am off work, Bobbi is not even a thought.
And after a few days of this she seems to be on holiday and no where to be found,,, BUT then some unknown trigger happens and I'll just do a little mascara and lipstick, then the bra and panties jump out of the drawer, and the rest is history.
I think all here will agree, that when we are looking our best its clearly the happiest time of all. It brings smiles and peace and such amazing feelings. So how can anything that brings all of that be a bad thing?
Another problem, not really problem, is when we are on our NBE routines, we are always reminded of the femme part within us that we really want to grow. Every pill, or drop or massage is a reminder that we are really wanting her to be a bigger part of our everyday life.
No answers, just some reflections.
Bobbi

[Sofia Bunny]

Hi Sophia,
I like that a lot more that writing fire and ice all the time. :-)
You and I have the same mentality when it comes to our dressing.
When I have a very interesting work task that keeps my mind busy during the day and I'm still pondering when I am off work, Bobbi is not even a thought.
And after a few days of this she seems to be on holiday and no where to be found,,, BUT then some unknown trigger happens and I'll just do a little mascara and lipstick, then the bra and panties jump out of the drawer, and the rest is history.
I think all here will agree, that when we are looking our best its clearly the happiest time of all. It brings smiles and peace and such amazing feelings. So how can anything that brings all of that be a bad thing?
Another problem, not really problem, is when we are on our NBE routines, we are always reminded of the femme part within us that we really want to grow. Every pill, or drop or massage is a reminder that we are really wanting her to be a bigger part of our everyday life.
No answers, just some reflections.
Bobbi

How right you are Bobbi. Work is my escape from my troubles. Unfortunately I get myself into further trouble because I take on more work so as to be less focused on my personal life and focus more on the stockpile of work that I keep building up. Oops, probably not a good thing. All this traveling has given me too much free time to think and is probably enabling my feminity to grow stronger and more brazen. If I keep traveling like this who knows where I'll end up.

Well I really enjoyed your reflections, definitely some great food for thought!