[julieTG]

Seismic Shift ?
Omg this is not good
I keep a record of all my feelings and doses , etc etc each day and whether I feel horny etc etc
Every day I ask myself
“do I want to be a woman”
Every day the answer for almost 10 months on pm has been a rock solid NO
This week for the last 4 days, the answer has been
Ummmmmm no , and that’s small no as in unsure,
And believe me for some they may have started like that and not altered, but for me an alpha male that is a massive movement,
Now to this brain rewiring theory , I am not sure now ?

Julie

[Happyme]

Beware the Pink Fog my dear.
4 days does not a life time make.
Thats a great idea keeping track of your progress, Very good idea I must say. And its good that your femme side is worming its way to the top. Now that you have acknowledged it dont hide it away or jump to accept it either.
Just look at it as a new feeling and one to explore. Enjoy it, ask your wife how she likes being a woman.
Bobbi

[Sofia Bunny]

Oh the tangled webs we weave! So lets see first started with the intent of just growing breast. Was almost 99.7% sure I had no intention of transitioning. At the time was wearing colorful bikini briefs (male), had a few body suits, a few bralettes, a few stockings, stuff I would just wear on occasion because I enjoyed the way they felt. In the beginning I was pretty adamant about not transitioning, but was not completely closed off to the idea as I have found in time things can change.

I had a few issues with my emotions flaring up as I was getting used to the hormonal changes in my body. That mostly settled, finally. Except for when I go on break, towards the end of the week I am a mess. Then little things started to change. I started buying women's underwear, bras, camisoles, slips etc. Still, I was pretty sure I had no intentions of transitioning, just really enjoyed the softness and comfort of those items.

Outside of family, one of my biggest hang ups was I didn't think I would be able to look like a woman. Well that finally got the best of me, and had a makeover done. I figured I would finally settle that once and for all and finally confirm that it would be impossible for me to look like a woman. Unfortunately I was wrong, I wasn't too terrible looking. Possibly one of the more happier moments in my life.

So now that just leaves family to contend with. Right now I teeter totter back and forth as to whether or not transitioning is for me. Some days I entertain the idea, and other days I think perhaps not.

The point of all this? The longer I remain on my regiment the more I come to accept myself, and find myself content with the overall changes. Things just feel right the closer to femininity I get. I am doing things I didn't think I would do, like now shaving my legs, shaving off all my facial hair, etc.

So the question I keep asking myself, was this something that was buried deep inside of me and is barely coming to the surface? More and more I find suppressed memories coming out that shed some light here and there. Or is it my regiment that is driving me towards this new destination. Perhaps it is my regiment that is unlocking the doors that were locked long ago. I really don't know. I do know that my mind has shifted from where it was when I first started.

[jannet.duff]

Oh the tangled webs we weave! So lets see first started with the intent of just growing breast. Was almost 99.7% sure I had no intention of transitioning. At the time was wearing colorful bikini briefs (male), had a few body suits, a few bralettes, a few stockings, stuff I would just wear on occasion because I enjoyed the way they felt. In the beginning I was pretty adamant about not transitioning, but was not completely closed off to the idea as I have found in time things can change.

I had a few issues with my emotions flaring up as I was getting used to the hormonal changes in my body. That mostly settled, finally. Except for when I go on break, towards the end of the week I am a mess. Then little things started to change. I started buying women's underwear, bras, camisoles, slips etc. Still, I was pretty sure I had no intentions of transitioning, just really enjoyed the softness and comfort of those items.

Outside of family, one of my biggest hang ups was I didn't think I would be able to look like a woman. Well that finally got the best of me, and had a makeover done. I figured I would finally settle that once and for all and finally confirm that it would be impossible for me to look like a woman. Unfortunately I was wrong, I wasn't too terrible looking. Possibly one of the more happier moments in my life.

So now that just leaves family to contend with. Right now I teeter totter back and forth as to whether or not transitioning is for me. Some days I entertain the idea, and other days I think perhaps not.

The point of all this? The longer I remain on my regiment the more I come to accept myself, and find myself content with the overall changes. Things just feel right the closer to femininity I get. I am doing things I didn't think I would do, like now shaving my legs, shaving off all my facial hair, etc.

So the question I keep asking myself, was this something that was buried deep inside of me and is barely coming to the surface? More and more I find suppressed memories coming out that shed some light here and there. Or is it my regiment that is driving me towards this new destination. Perhaps it is my regiment that is unlocking the doors that were locked long ago. I really don't know. I do know that my mind has shifted from where it was when I first started.

I see so much of my self in your post Sofia. It does seem the longer we are walking this thin line, the closet we get to want or need to transition.

Julie, Hon, it's just a matter of time. You will be assimilated.

[julieTG]

oh great
x

Julie

[Sofia Bunny]

oh great
x

Julie

Ha ha ha, don't sound so glum. It looks like Jannet and I joined the forum around the same time. She seems much further along than I. Took me well over a year before I started to teeter totter. Now granted something I forgot to take into consideration, if the Mrs. was more accepting of my changes, would I have teeter tottered sooner? Would I be a lot more open to the idea of transitioning? I suppose that is a possibility, can't say for certain.

You've been a member for much longer, and I assume probably been at this for much longer as well. So if you're BARELY teeter tottering now...

So why do you think your no is a bit unsure? Physical appearance changes? Emotional Changes? Everyone else is doing so why not you? (j/k on the last one) Maybe it is just a chemical change in your brain finally kicking in?

I am so tempted in stopping for a good length of time to see if my temperament changes. Unfortunately, I don't really want to go through all the emotional drama. Mentally I feel better balanced, why would I want to potentially put myself in a state of flux and disarray?

[jannet.duff]

Ach ...

Double post

[julieTG]

SLB

I flip flop every day ,

do prefer the much calmer mind set

ha

and the wife and the workforce

but I absolutely LOATHE compression on my breasts , its nice for a while then gets yuck

and still do not want to be a woman, I like being a man, but she is getting stronger ?

Julie

[dcdee]

I am somewhere in the pink fog.
I have accepted my feminine side and prefer it to the male. However, there are some traditionally male activities i still do enjoy.
I think i would transition short of SRS, but like many I am terrified of loosing my wife. Since i do not have much contact with the rest of my family that is not an issue. But being completely alone scares the begeezes out of me. (That is a polite way of saying shit)
My wife has accepted or at least tolerates a large part of the femininity i have incorporated into my life. Even to the point of not complaining when we are called ladies when we are out together.
She has told me she hates people thinking we are a couple of fat old lesbians. But in some ways we are. Maybe her silence is a tacit acceptance and my fears are just irrational baggage from previous marriages.

Sigh

Confused and scared

Christina

[tanysquirrel]

"Welcome to the Borg, resistance is futile"

"you will be assimulated"