30-06-2016, 03:32 PM
(29-06-2016, 04:27 PM)Sofia Lauren Bunny Wrote: Oh the tangled webs we weave! So lets see first started with the intent of just growing breast. Was almost 99.7% sure I had no intention of transitioning. At the time was wearing colorful bikini briefs (male), had a few body suits, a few bralettes, a few stockings, stuff I would just wear on occasion because I enjoyed the way they felt. In the beginning I was pretty adamant about not transitioning, but was not completely closed off to the idea as I have found in time things can change.
I had a few issues with my emotions flaring up as I was getting used to the hormonal changes in my body. That mostly settled, finally. Except for when I go on break, towards the end of the week I am a mess. Then little things started to change. I started buying women's underwear, bras, camisoles, slips etc. Still, I was pretty sure I had no intentions of transitioning, just really enjoyed the softness and comfort of those items.
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So the question I keep asking myself, was this something that was buried deep inside of me and is barely coming to the surface? More and more I find suppressed memories coming out that shed some light here and there. Or is it my regiment that is driving me towards this new destination. Perhaps it is my regiment that is unlocking the doors that were locked long ago. I really don't know. I do know that my mind has shifted from where it was when I first started.
This sounded so familiar to me, I even posted something to that effct on the BO point of no Return thread
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I have been on my quest for breasts for about 10 years, during which I have used a variety of things. My original desire was to acquire female breasts. Over time this desire has morphed into a need to feminize my body as completely as possible and to ultimately live the balance of my life as a woman. This has become a deep seeded desire, a need, maybe an obsession. So, maybe I have gone past the point of no return, if you look at that point as a flipping of a mental switch as opposed to a transformation of your endocrine system to function as a female. Can I stop taking NBE? Probably not. It has become who I am, besides I like the feelings it has introduced into my being.
As to what am I taking, right now I am on PM, with WP and a WY mixture. I took BO for 5 months with minimal physical success. I have been on Pharma with the most physical changes, and some of the commercial NBE products with minimal effects.
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It seems our brains are destine to be rewired if we play with our hormones. It is not a matter of if, bt a matter of when. Take them long enough and the mental changes will come along with the physical.
My issues was denying and trying to suppress my feminine needs in an effort to conform to the American societal norms of of male/female. I have gained a certain amount of personal peace Since accepting that I am the other gender. I am still scared to completely come out, but that courage slowly builds in proportion to my wife's tolerance of Christina and my overt expressions of femininity. For the most part, I do not care what the rest of the world thinks of me. I am accepted as a woman in many of the stores i frequent, even when dressed in male attire. No one has ever been mean or nasty to me, so maybe my fears are unjustified or steeped in baggage of the past. Not to say that day will not come. I am sure there will be overt discrimination if and when i transition to full time. But by then i will have hopefully gained the courage to let that negative energy roll off my back like water on a duck.
I am rambling.
Back to the point, You do not get something for nothing. You do not get female breasts without a seismic shift in your brains wiring.
Christina