[lilmikey]

Oki,
I really like your breasts. Very promising. I look forward to seeing them in 6 more months.

[Learning]

Im really glad to hear that you mentioned fatigue. I feel so fatigues after two days of taking PM. I then wimp out. How long did it take for you to no feel fatigued?

[Billie]

Weight gain is possible through MetRx shakes and bars. I was made aware Metrx was originally used to help hospital patients gain weight.

[Lotus]

Awesome results oki, @ very fem boobs.

Lotus (here's long overdue "thanks!")

You're welcome, I'm glad I could help.

[polymorphis]

Dear oki,

it is really nice to see another person from our small country as a member of this forum! I suppose that some problems and challenges faced by transgendered are rather country-dependent and for me it will be useful to read your opinions about various topics.

Don't be worried about the length of your post - I found it quite informative. It is interesting that some of your experiences are similar to mine, yet another are very different. For example, I unfortunately did not experience significant fat redistribution, but it might be because for last 6 months I have been loosing weight.

Your pictures are stunning. The growth is clearly visible and profile of your breasts is definitely feminine! Judging from you photos I would say you are already an A-cup. Are you sure you did measurements correctly?

You've mentioned that you have been slowly adding different aspects of femininity to your overall outwards presentation. Could you elaborate a little bit?

I have just a few remarks regarding your conclusions: You've mentioned that you don't need to transition, but you "want it more than ever". I feel something similar - I really don't feel significant gender dysphoria, but yearning for femininity has been with me since my early childhood and it never went away for long. I personally hope there is some middle way between two options you mentioned: transition OR suppression ("back in male mode"... etc.).

Anyway, I wish you a lot of success! And I hope to see more your pictures!

Poly

[oki]

Thank you for words of encouragement!

A few notes regarding a break from E and AAs:
I stupidly stopped cold turkey and got rewarded by four days of headache (right before it subsided it was the worst I ever had). 17 days in traces of growth pains still linger but volume loss is disheartening. I'd say about last two months' gains are lost. That doesn't worry me much, it'll be back soon upon restarting the routine. Other than that no significant changes.

I would say your going to be a big girl.

Now reading this made me shiver a little inside. Mmm.

How long did it take for you to no feel fatigued?

I'm not sure. The fatigue was noticable but not really that serious. I think its the consequence of shifts in hormonal balances rather than presence of estrogen itself. Thus, given time, system stabilizes and things should return to the norm. Or the new norm is established not that far from the old one. The same applies for libido, potency, etc.
If you find the effects overwhelming right away, reduce your dosage.

You've mentioned that you don't need to transition, but you "want it more than ever". I personally hope there is some middle way between two options you mentioned: transition OR suppression ("back in male mode"... etc.).

Made me think. Upon reflection I see did not express myself clearly. Full-fledged transition is as of now sort of a beacon beyond the horizon, showing the general way. I'll go in that direction and stop when I feel like it, not obsessing about reaching the destination. On the other hand, self-induced suppression is an unlikely (im)possibility. So I see myself going the middle way. Rather vague "passable TS" should in fact mean something like "femmy queer whom even an open-minded heterosexual man might be interested in". Again, middle road. There are no imperatives... Instead there is rejection of convenction and ingrained expectations while asking myself: "What do I genuinely want? Is it within my reach? Can I get away with it?". The third one is a big unknown. Just a matter of time before powers-that-be try to put one right, right?

you have been slowly adding different aspects of femininity to your overall outwards presentation. Could you elaborate a little bit?

When I feel like I can take some attention I do some or all of these (small things by themselves, but cumulative effect sends a clear message):
I wear women's s shorts and jeans. Short and tight (men's) T-shirts that make the breasts truly peek out (which is a bit over the top but kinda turns me on). Inconspicuous necklace and bracelet. I used to have really long & somewhat pointy nails with milky polish on them. That was definitely over the top and I had quite a love/disgust relationship with them. They provoked some comments and many-a stare. Got rid of them a month ago. Wore a women's perfume for some time (Oriflame's Mirage to be specific), not anymore.
Plus the face... if I just wash the hair, shave and smile, it's startlingly feminine. Part PM, two parts plain luck. I feel I can't even get the hair styled in some fashionable manner or eyebrows trimmed or wear rings because I wouldn't pass even for a misguided, funny-looking male.
Well, what do you do, Poly?

[polymorphis]

A few notes regarding a break from E and AAs:
I stupidly stopped cold turkey and got rewarded by four days of headache (right before it subsided it was the worst I ever had). 17 days in traces of growth pains still linger but volume loss is disheartening. I'd say about last two months' gains are lost. That doesn't worry me much, it'll be back soon upon restarting the routine. Other than that no significant changes.

Yes, I've also found that sudden changes in dosage either up or dawn causes me to feel miserable. Not only headache, but also dizziness and fatigue. For me the minimal interval between 500 mg dose change of PM is 3 days.

I would say your going to be a big girl.

Now reading this made me shiver a little inside. Mmm.

So let me add something: I think that with your frame and if you stick to your routine, you will make quite an attractive girl.

Made me think. Upon reflection I see did not express myself clearly. Full-fledged transition is as of now sort of a beacon beyond the horizon, showing the general way. I'll go in that direction and stop when I feel like it, not obsessing about reaching the destination. On the other hand, self-induced suppression is an unlikely (im)possibility. So I see myself going the middle way. Rather vague "passable TS" should in fact mean something like "femmy queer whom even an open-minded heterosexual man might be interested in". Again, middle road. There are no imperatives... Instead there is rejection of convenction and ingrained expectations while asking myself: "What do I genuinely want? Is it within my reach? Can I get away with it?". The third one is a big unknown. Just a matter of time before powers-that-be try to put one right, right?

I think I understand. My original idea about myself was very similar to yours. I feel that I have to project my slowly building feminine persona somewhere. However, full transition would make my life really complicated. It appears that solution is either partial feminine presentation full time or full feminine presentation part time (for example during weekends or in among friends or like-minded people). But to tell you the truth I am really not able to imagine how it could work here... Still, I am not going to give up!

When I feel like I can take some attention I do some or all of these (small things by themselves, but cumulative effect sends a clear message):
I wear women's s shorts and jeans. Short and tight (men's) T-shirts that make the breasts truly peek out (which is a bit over the top but kinda turns me on). Inconspicuous necklace and bracelet. I used to have really long & somewhat pointy nails with milky polish on them. That was definitely over the top and I had quite a love/disgust relationship with them. They provoked some comments and many-a stare. Got rid of them a month ago. Wore a women's perfume for some time (Oriflame's Mirage to be specific), not anymore.
Plus the face... if I just wash the hair, shave and smile, it's startlingly feminine. Part PM, two parts plain luck. I feel I can't even get the hair styled in some fashionable manner or eyebrows trimmed or wear rings because I wouldn't pass even for a misguided, funny-looking male.
Well, what do you do, Poly?

Oh wow, there are a lot of things you do! Well, besides trying to grow more feminine breasts and exercising/diet plan to get more feminine physique I don't do that much:

I grew my hair which caused a lot of comments from colleagues. I need to have my hair cut a little bit, but I am afraid to ask for a haircut that can appear more feminine when I need it. I keep my eyebrows trimmed - it is really easy, because my eyebrows are naturally thin. I have longer fingernails and I wear translucent inconspicuous nail-polish all the time. Again, people commented about the length of my fingernails, I am usually able to dodge it by saying it is because I train martial arts (Eagle claw ). From time to time I wear women's perfume (for example Bottega Veneta Veneta). I wear only women's clothes while at home. And that's it... Oh, I've almost forgot that my girlfriend noticed my mannerism begins to be more and more feminine. Sometimes she has to remind me not to behave that way. And for the future, I am determined to start laser hair removal later this year... But I don't know if I won't chicken out.

Poly

[oki]

I've almost forgot that my girlfriend noticed my mannerism begins to be more and more feminine. Sometimes she has to remind me not to behave that way.

Awww, super cute!

The prospect of asking for a feminine cut in the parlour stocked on lady hairdressers and their gossiping customers is harsh for me too. Wouldn't asking a guy be easier?

What are you gonna get lasered? The face? Sooner or later, that's a must.

[polymorphis]

Awww, super cute!

It's usually like:

Her: "I see that ..."

-or-

Her: "That facial expression..."

The prospect of asking for a feminine cut in the parlour stocked on lady hairdressers and their gossiping customers is harsh for me too. Wouldn't asking a guy be easier?

It depends. I think the biggest problem would be number of other customers, you've already mentioned it. I've read somewhere that it is better to pick more expensive place, because they tend to be more professional and don't ask unpleasant questions. However, I wouldn't do that in the city centre . It would be nice to have a list of trans-friendly establishments, but I am afraid that in our small country we are not that far. Maybe in Prague...

What are you gonna get lasered? The face? Sooner or later, that's a must.

Face, of course Having any facial hair is of no use for me and I am confident to say it will remain like that for the rest of my life.

Poly

[Shae]

Maybe i've got it wrong, but i don't think there's much that will reduce the amount of body hair. You pretty much need electrolysis for that.

One of my incentives for continuing my regime is that it is slowly growing back head hair where i had lost it.

You say that because of your height and age you will never pass. But you may be surprised. I have never tried to pass, and certainly never thought i did or would. Basically i just go about my own version of normal, which does include some things typically considered feminine, but i don't do anything excessively girly. My voice is just my normal voice. I am obviously lacking hair where it should be. But despite all of this, i appear to pass for quite a few people, who just treat me like one of the girls. While i'm sure that many just think i'm transgender (which i don't consider myself to be) and are just playing along, there are definitely a few for whom i seem to pass - amazingly. And at a distance, like passing people on the sidewalk, i seem to pass quite a lot. But really, it doesn't matter whether i do or not. The important thing is that people like me, treat me well, and i've not experienced any gender-related discrimination by anyone in my community.

Your mileage may vary, but i've found that i am pretty much accepted for what i am and have stopped worrying about it.