[Cheryl1989]

Hi everyone, i have made a massive mistake and dont know what to do. I have slept with one of my best friends, well he was whan i was male. We where best friends and when i told him about what i was doing he stuck by me but distanced himself, over the past 7 or 8 months we have only seen each other a few times but have spoke in messeges and on the phone. We met up saturday and spent a whole day together and it was really nice, but we had too much to drink and he started asking me alot of questions about what it was like being a woman and if you could tell that i use to be a man, it all ended in us sleeping together and him vanishing not long after and i havent spoke to him since. Now im not sure if ive done something wrong or sex was bad for him or just the thought of him sleeping with his former best male friend has drove him mad, either way i dont know what to do or how i feel, we had such a lovely day and sex was great for me even though it was very strange. I would love some womanly advice here ive never been in this situation.
Hugs Cheryl xxxx

[itsjust4fun91]

Cheryl, If I were to take a guess, it's really not about you at this moment or that you did something or crossed a line, so relax a bit. He's probably going through a major identity crisis at this moment.

Curiosity, then libido, took him down a path that afterwards probably freaked him out big time. I would lay money on it that he's been a mental mess ever since questioning himself now. Does this make me gay, it was my best friend who use to be male, but then again that friend is now a female. You get the idea.

You are secure in who you are and what you have done, and no one was able to give you that peace of mind but you and now he's going to have to find it too from within.

He may show back up at some point and he may not, but you've got to move forward and be okay with it either way it turns out.

hugs, Mel

[Bibi]

I agree with Mel, this guy is probably freaked out wondering if this questions his masculinity or some such thing, don´t blame yourself!

Moreover, don´t feel forced to initiate contact with him now but just let him get in contact once he´s calmed down a bit. (And if he doesn´t, just let him be, you don´t want to be perceived as a stalker or whatever!) It´s better for your self esteem to have a guy go through all the trouble of seeing you, if you know what I mean. For me there´s nothing worse than calling someone I´ve had something with and him going all cold and indifferent.
And if you meet again, just play it cool, you know, avoiding the "lets talk about what happened" or giving him romantic glances. Let him find out for himself if he wants to pursue a relationship with you or if he just wants to remain friends.

You know, that´s so typical like a woman to wonder if you did something wrong, if sex was bad for him, etc!! Try to focus on your own feelings, that will make you much happier in the long run. My advice would be to ask yourself what it was like for you, how it made you feel, how you would a sexual relationship to be for you, that sort of thing. That way you can start to weed out the guys and experiences you don´t want to have, and that will help you attain positive relationships in the future!
hope that helps some!!

[Cheryl1989]

Thanks Mel and Bibi, i have spoke to him since it happened and have managed to sort things out, he said he enjoyed it and had feelings for me but it was all too much for him at the time and he was confused which i totally understand lol i mean i was his friend for a very long time as a guy and all of a sudden im now a woman and we wake up in bed together lol not your everyday thing lol but hopefully its sorted now and we can see what happens next i have to admit i do have feelings for him and hes very sexy lol but it is strange for me aswell, i guess time will tell. Thanks both for your advice it is appreciated.
Hugs Cheryl xxxx