[jannet.duff]

As you also mentioned, I do suspect our wives hope that the feelings we have to be more feminine ( or true to ourselves ) will eventually fade away. We are going to a birthday party in a few weeks, my wife sujested that as only two people there will know us, I should go as Jannet. As much as I would enjoy doing that, I suspect it is a trap for her to figure out how long it will be before I come out full time.

See, that's the sort of thing that I face as well hon... My wife makes a suggestion, like.... " Don't wear that, it doesn't fit well." Or, " It's the wrong color for you." or fill in the blank.

Is she REALLY trying to be helpful, or being snarky?

One day, I think I will call her bluff. I suppose it's best to trust, but verify. Right? I mean if your wife is truly trying to give you "girl" time. Don't blow it. But, as you said, It might be a trap.

I had thought about setting up rules with my wife. Some should already be in force anyway. But since this is totally off the beaten path. No where in our vow's did it mention anything about "Dual Personas". Just "Till Death do us Part".

Rules something in the line of myself NEVER purposely embarrassing her or humiliating her in public by my dressing up. That she has a right and privilege of stating when something is making her uncomfortable with out fear of it starting an argument. But that I will take her feelings to heart, but that if I decide her reasons are not logical I do not need to change my way. And she cant get upset with me.

Well, you get the idea. All them should and have been in place. But with me being duel, it's uncharted waters so I think some promises to her from me may help alleviate some of her concerns.

So true ...
With the support group, they only see me as Jannet, but also know I am not full time. But, what I don't want to do is go to this party as Jannet and confuse people when I'm not full time. I don't want them to be confused with what transgender means.

[polymorphis]

I really enjoy reading about your experiences, iaboy. Thank you for all the reports!

I especially relate to your statement of the partner trying to ignore, deny or close her eyes to something that scares her. I, myself, am thinking about having consultation with a gender therapist. I still do not plan to transition, but I would really like to speak with someone experienced with more people with similar issues as I have. I also would like to have an assessment before I and my GF get married. I told my GF about it and, while she really don't mind me wearing feminine clothes at home, she said that she was really worried about such idea and that she was rather against. Her reason is that me seeing a gender therapist would mean that: "... this condition is not just fun, but something more serious" and that she: "would be worried that one day she will wake up next to a woman with D-sized breasts." And then she added: "Hey, you would be bigger than me!" I don't blame her. I completely understand her worries, so I'll just give her more time.

I enough about me. I really don't want to hijack this thread

I think our partners are often more confused and scared than we are. Maybe that's why you feel that sometimes she is testing you by commenting about your clothes etc. I don't think she tries to lure you into some kind of trap...

Anyway, I would like to ask you to continue with your reports. There's no need to write everything, but maybe just one or two interesting ideas from time to time

Poly

[julieTG]

Suggestion

All

Go download a book called

Head over heels

All about wives who stay with cross dressers and transsexuals

Very interesting and comforting

Julie
X

[The First Aria]

I really enjoy reading about your experiences, iaboy. Thank you for all the reports!

I especially relate to your statement of the partner trying to ignore, deny or close her eyes to something that scares her. I, myself, am thinking about having consultation with a gender therapist. I still do not plan to transition, but I would really like to speak with someone experienced with more people with similar issues as I have. I also would like to have an assessment before I and my GF get married. I told my GF about it and, while she really don't mind me wearing feminine clothes at home, she said that she was really worried about such idea and that she was rather against. Her reason is that me seeing a gender therapist would mean that: "... this condition is not just fun, but something more serious" and that she: "would be worried that one day she will wake up next to a woman with D-sized breasts." And then she added: "Hey, you would be bigger than me!" I don't blame her. I completely understand her worries, so I'll just give her more time.

I enough about me. I really don't want to hijack this thread

I think our partners are often more confused and scared than we are. Maybe that's why you feel that sometimes she is testing you by commenting about your clothes etc. I don't think she tries to lure you into some kind of trap...

Anyway, I would like to ask you to continue with your reports. There's no need to write everything, but maybe just one or two interesting ideas from time to time

Poly

Thanks Poly. You needn't worry about a hijack. It just gives a background of where you are coming from.

I think you are right. Although there is one point, at least in my case, I would have to differ with. The following you stated.

"I think our partners are often more confused and scared than we are. Maybe that's why you feel that sometimes she is testing you by commenting about your clothes etc. I don't think she tries to lure you into some kind of trap..."

I think I am more confused and concerned, or at least as much, as my wife might be. For 1/2 of my life, I don't remember being as confused as I have been for nearly 3 decades. No matter rather I decide that HRT is for me or not, there is still questions and nearly not enough answers. Yet.

But hence the reason for the Therapist, right? At least it gives me a total 3rd party's different point of view if nothing else.

[Billie]

My x wife never minded my long hair and fem clothes. My current wife has suggested hiding my nipples. I still wear pink yellow and tight clothes. I want to look good. But people look so I need to get used to that.

[Happyme]

O.K., Just got back about 2 hrs ago from my 3rd appointment with my therapist.

She said that so far, she is 90% sure, I am Gender Fluid and that if there was a class already established, it would be the equivalent of Native American "Two Spirit" person.

I agree with that other than there is no way, I would "marry" same sex, but she said that she didn't mean "sexually speaking" just that I have strong male and female traits.

So, I am sure there are other terms out there, but I am not sure.

Anyways, as always please feel free to comment.  Just please stick to the ebb and flow of this thread.

Iaboy!
I have been following your other threads about your therapist and your life trip so far. And it dawned on me that I thought that you were  Gender Fluid.
This is what I am and I was ecstatic when I found this out. It meant I wasnt gay, I didnt have to transition, and that I need both boy and girl in my life to be happy. (and boy is this true) With this news I didnt have to open my feminine side to anyone that I didnt choose too. I could grow boobs as large as I wanted or where forms. I could be the dad and granddad that people expect me to be and the one I'd like to be, BUT I could wear dresses and makeup and wander into town if need be. My circle of friends are all you wonderful people and a few like minded friends and my wife. The rest of me is that 'normal' guy with long hair that wears girl shots and tees.
I'm surprised that your DR's are heading you towards HRT! I know the desire to be all girl is very strong, But think about flowing into gender fluid. I think your sanity will return and there is less worry for your future.
Hugs
Bobbi

[The First Aria]

Why are you surprised, Bobbi, about my MD?  After all, what started it was me coming out to her, and asking for even light HRT thinking that it would help balance me out better.  Even my therapist thinks it might help.

BTW, your logic, is right along with my therapist.  I am just now grasping the concept of being a real chameleon. (or, gender fluid)

[Lotus]

Pretty sure you can be gender fluid while on HRT.

[Happyme]

I'm not on HRT so I'm pulling stuff from my behind, But doesnt the HRT regimen bring out the femme side?
More feminine growth and feelings? Making it harder to maintain the balance between boy and girl?
Bobbi

Oh and as a side note would you be so kind as to explain your signature??

[The First Aria]

I'm not on HRT so I'm pulling stuff from my behind, But doesnt the HRT regimen bring out the femme side?
More feminine growth and feelings? Making it harder to maintain the balance between boy and girl?
Bobbi

Oh and as a side note would you be so kind as to explain your signature??

The way I understand it, maybe Lotus would know better or more, but the GID comes about because of specialized brain cells that are sort of idling, or misfiring.  One reason might be cause of traumatic injury like a stroke or near fatal head blow.  The other is you were born with more than a normal male would or should be.  The way my doctor explained it was akin to epilepsy.

When a person has this difficulty, and it's not linked to trauma or such, then it has to be cause these specialized brain cells are left with just randomly misfiring or coming to the fore front, then receding.  This is what makes up the difference between male and female true psychi.  Or, real mental aspect of difference between the sexes.

The way to make things more or less calmer is Estrogen, or Testosterone, depending on temperament and original sex at birth.  

So, since I am truly Two Spirit, they do not think it will push me over the edge, but rather calm me down, help my mind calm down.  The trick is, how much is needed to achieve balance.  It maybe the case that, to borrow a less than nice term, for me to reach my balance is to become more or less a "She-Male".  The technical term escapes me now.  It's one of them terms that proves you went to college and got a degree in psycho babble.  LOL

Or, it maybe just enough E to maintain inner balance and a little more feminine depending on where I end up on the scale.

See, that's another reason I am a little nervous.  I might just have the REAL "Pink Fog".   Why do you think, that some gurls here can handle just enough E where they don't really care what the size of their boob or booties get?  While others are way too obsessed.  The Pink Fog isn't necessarily cause of some magic potion like PM, it's more of getting the specialized brain cells to tame down.

That is what my MD and Therapist think.  And it's backed up with science.  Like I said, maybe Lotus has ran across it or has seen it.  Or maybe can explain it far better than myself.  Hell, after all, I am just an internet and electronics nut, not a biophysicist.