[julieTG]

Phew

I need to lay down and fan myself

X

Julie

[Drew]

Wow this is a very old thread I stumbled upon, I just read old stuff all the time now, am too scared to post anything but will now.

We only have the one life, we don't get a do over so if something is seriously missing in your life then we only have the one chance to do anything about that. Sometimes we need to make everything about us. I too have relationships and ex relationships and children and it's hard, it's really, really so fucking hard as you feel like you are being a traitor and should be locked in the tower for dissapointing everybody and there is no easy answer for the dilemma we cause, but we are who we are and whether we project ourself in society in male mode or in female mode we are still always the same person inside with the same feelings, the same emotions, there is nothing we can do to change that....thankfully.

Personally, and read of the other medical stuff here so off on a limb and being me, but I'm scared shitless, I really, really am. I often have blood in my semen, not always but when there is blood in there it its very, very red there is a lot and I'm petrified of telling my doctor so just ignore it, although I'm frantic with fear, just I read here of cancer and that reawakened my fears and my absolute fright of being dead before I can show those I love just how very much I love them before it's too late.

But that's me,  not relevant I'm getting distracted again, sorry not about me but something much, much more important here in this thread but the sex....sex is very critical to a relationship this is also where I fuck up, I am in love with a very, very beautiful woman but just doesn't do much for me anymore. We change through life, our tastes, our mood, our desires all change and blaming anything on a certain regime is futile you just cannot do that.. We are simply who we are. We can try to be the round peg that fits into the round hole but we often feel like the square peg and cannot figure out how to fit but an inner self is 'screaming' out loud not to be ignored, but we do, because well, idk? Its whats expected and we are too afraid to dissapoint. But dissapuont, we'll yes I suppose in most cases it will so we do it secretly but there comes a stage where hiding becomes almost impossible and excruciatingly painful. We spend our life trying to fit and that is our curse but also our salvation in a way but its hard.

Sorry for waking an old thread, I just had to respond it awakened feelings. But it's an old thread and seriously hope you have all found the answer. I just wish there were easy answers.

[jannet.duff]

Just reading through this old thread again myself.

I do not recall saying any of it ..lol.

It is close to 7 years old though.

My X AND I agree to disagree on a number of things in my transition. As most of the older posters know, I am now not only full time but post SRS. I go out and interact with LBGT people a few days a week, almost all my cis friends have drifted away ( although expected). My X and I still live together as friends, still legally married, but emotionally separated. I still work at the same place I have worked at for almost 20 years.

Life is definitely different, I am happy in my own skin, but upset that it cost me my marriage.

If your wondering if transition is worth it, it's only a question you can answer yourself. 
Will your family be supportive.
Will your spouse be supportive.
Will your kids be supportive.
Will your employer be supportive.
How many cis friends will stand by your side.
How safe is your area to live as your true self.