[Katie]

Something that I never in my wildest dreams thought would be an issue, is actually something that I`m having a Very hard time dealing with!
That of Pronouns and gendering correctly, and the Abuse of therein.

seems my Mother has taken upon herself to call me Lad or Chap or Son way more than she Ever did before on the telephone, and yesterday when I made a dissaproving sound to one instance it was Lad this Lad that lad the f**kin` other! every bloody sentence afterwards.

today, I went to visit my wife in Hospital and took my daughter and my mom up in a taxi, the visit went well, and after I called a taxi to pick us back up at the hospital.
one arrived and I ran up to the open window and the driver asked "where to darling?" I told him the address and he said to get in.
I waved the other 2 over and we got in, on the drve back home I could hardly contain my smile at being gendered correctly even though I`m presenting as male (makes me wonder if I run like a girl now as well?).
we get to our house ready to drop me and my daughter off, and she goes "after you drop my Son and Granddaughter off here, can you take me to..."
Like this guy really gives a sh!t who we are in relation to each other anyway, but she just Had to Gender me didn`t she! and call me by name several times to boot.
I totally ignored her BTW, and just got out the car with my daughter and went in the house without even a wave.

And she Must have known what she was doing and saying else there wouldn`t have been that mid sentence pause before doing it.

is she trying to get me Killed or someting? she embarrassed Me And the taxi driver!
and for what????

does she disrespect me Soooo much that she thinks this is a good idea?
 
I`m at a loss here to know what to do, do I have to spell it out to her? she Claims to be really Clever, I`m not seeing that!

[jannet.duff]

Something that I never in my wildest dreams thought would be an issue, is actually something that I`m having a Very hard time dealing with!
That of Pronouns and gendering correctly, and the Abuse of therein.

seems my Mother has taken upon herself to call me Lad or Chap or Son way more than she Ever did before on the telephone, and yesterday when I made a dissaproving sound to one instance it was Lad this Lad that lad the f**kin` other! every bloody sentence afterwards.

today, I went to visit my wife in Hospital and took my daughter and my mom up in a taxi, the visit went well, and after I called a taxi to pick us back up at the hospital.
one arrived and I ran up to the open window and the driver asked "where to darling?" I told him the address and he said to get in.
I waved the other 2 over and we got in, on the drve back home I could hardly contain my smile at being gendered correctly even though I`m presenting as male (makes me wonder if I run like a girl now as well?).
we get to our house ready to drop me and my daughter off, and she goes "after you drop my Son and Granddaughter off here, can you take me to..."
Like this guy really gives a sh!t who we are in relation to each other anyway, but she just Had to Gender me didn`t she! and call me by name several times to boot.
I totally ignored her BTW, and just got out the car with my daughter and went in the house without even a wave.

And she Must have known what she was doing and saying else there wouldn`t have been that mid sentence pause before doing it.

is she trying to get me Killed or someting? she embarrassed Me And the taxi driver!
and for what????

does she disrespect me Soooo much that she thinks this is a good idea?
 
I`m at a loss here to know what to do, do I have to spell it out to her? she Claims to be really Clever, I`m not seeing that!

Unfortunatly, if it's your mother, you may just have to put up with it. I know a few transgender females that pass pretty well, but their mothers still say Son. About all you can do is talk to her, let het know, yoh may always be a son to her, but other people see you as you present, like it or not ...that's female.

[The First Aria]

I have been called ma'am at a store, and then the next person uses the male pronoun.  It really doesn't matter if I am called a she or he.....  Unless I am trying to go femme, then I try to figure out how to fix.  And with close friends and family, it's hard for them to break the habits...  Just take an aspirin and call it a day.

[Katie]

She called this evening as she said she would, and I really don`t know what to say or think right now other than I hope she finally Gets-It.

the Taxi day as we were waiting in the cold, she mentioned that I should by a thicker jacket that other men wear, I told her that I`m not wasting any more money on Male clothes, she was about to say something and my daughter interupted about something else and that was the end of it.

well Today, not more than about 5 sentences in she brought it up again with a very acusatory "what did you mean by that!?"
I explained that I meant exactly what I said, and that I don`t have any boy clothes anymore, all my clothes are Female clothes as they should be.

well... the silence was deafening!

I continued, that I have 1 pair of jeans, a pair of socks and a couple of man shirts left and that the man shirts can look quite fem too if I wear them with the right stuff, so they don`t really count, and so I went into detail about the extent of my wardrobe and so forth.

it`s as if I`d only just that Second outed myself for the first time, didn`t she beleive me or something when I told her months ago!?
well then the questions started about the Gendering me in the Taxi (so she Must have sensed something then!), I told her than No I wasnt happy, she butted in with what Should I call you or say then, I told her femaile pronouns, Her, She hers etc... she said no, what`s your Name if not (insert His name).
I told her Katie, but when I get Legal documents it`ll be Katherine as Katie is just for short as is Kate, Kathy etc...
"Oh so you`re going to change your Name then!?" I`m like Yes! with a big smile in my voice
again with the silence, so what does you doc have to say, so I explained about the proceedure I have to go through and then she interupted me when I was at the part about getting letters and said "So are you going to have the Op then?" I said Yes I hope to to get Gender Reasigment surgery! again with a big smile in my voice.
now I couldn`t tell if it was gasp voice from shock, or she was too stunned for coherant words, but she tried to say something that I missed, and ended up with a hesitant O K... and silence.
So all light and cheery I say "so yeah, I`d much prefer Female pronouns from now on"
she went on "so you`re actually going to go Out in make up and female clothes etc..." I said Yup!
but that i will try and wait until I`m asked to by the doctor, although I am really excited about doing it being being told to.

well that was it, you could hear the clear dismay and astonishment at my revelation, not sure it was like wow I`m impressed or wow I never thought... but yeah, she was clearly stunned.

and then went on about something entirely unrelated!?????

make of that what you will, I`m still trying to figure it myself *sigh*

[The First Aria]

Well Katie, at least she didn't scream or break into tears followed by the loud click of her hanging up w/out saying goodbye!  So, I would say it went fairly well then.

[jannet.duff]

I'm with iaboy, it sounds like it went as well as it could be expected.

I would imagine, she still needs to sit down and take the whole conversation in, I would expect a few more questions the next time you talk.

It sounds like a good step forward so far thou.

How is your wife doing ?

[Katie]

My wife is doing wonderfully! she`s stared taking liquids in now, and is working her way up to solid food, its been 2 weeks since she`s eaten now so its going to be rough, other than that there`s something better each day now and we`re hoping she`ll be back out sometime next week

as for my mother, what I`m really struggling with, s her reacting like it`s the first time I`v told her!?
I`v been out to her now for about 2 months, she`s been here several time with me 100% en femme and been fine with it all.
so what gives?

is the penny starting to drop? is she realising the seriousity of it now? did she think I meant "Just in the house"?

Answers on a post card please

[The First Aria]

Look at my reply on this thread.  Post #5  Why do we as a group, find it so hard to understand?  It's as hard for them to realize their boys are now wearing pinafores and has breasts.  It would be no different if you went to your folks house and they were either nude walking around their house or if they reversed their roles......  Right?

[EndlessEden_mn2010]

I dont claim to understand some peoples reasoning for ignorance, it does happen quite often. (I fear, here accross the pond, thats what we are going to go back to for a few years. Fear and hate... but thats another story)

Your mom appears to be taking it as well as is to be expected, its hard to explain to people things they havent expierenced. its like describing the inside of your basement to some one who has never seen a house.

You do your best, tell them that this is no joke, love them, care for them and move on. They accept you or they come to terms with it either way. - Your mom is no different than most, the shock takes a while to completely fade, there is a period in which they try to pretend it never happened, then with re-affirming, bam. it hits them its not some game you are playing for attention or grattitude. Things change, usually for the better, and all moves on.

My biological mother is not accepting at all, ive been unable to tell her because i know the reaction i will recieve will be negative. - My step mother on the other hand im out to, even if im a long way off from anything to your level. i knew she would be accepting and understanding to some degree(she is nearer to my age after all...) 

So, taking that as you will, you can see the varying differences of opinion are inititially different, but only time changes for the best.

----

I should also note, as far as public identity of pronouns, remember, some people will do it regardless of how passable you are at that moment. ive been in those situations where body language gave away a persons past and they were wrongfully identified...
I had to spend the next 6 hours, consoling some one over 3 letters, verbally spoken. - So be happy when you are, but dont fall apart when you dont. Its only momentary.
(I get giddy when i do, but, i physically always protray as male currently. so it comes as a suprise... i some times wonder what i did to be gendered such a way. but i wear a smile the rest of the day.)