23-11-2016, 08:47 AM
(This post was last modified: 23-11-2016, 01:45 PM by Sofia Bunny.)
Last Tuesday on the 15th I went to a Trans meeting. It was about being transgender in our local community. A lot of what was discussed was stuff I had already read about, or things that have been discussed here. Since no one knew each other, introductions were also done. I introduced both of my names as I wasn't sure what to say. I contributed my thoughts and opinions on some of the discusions and enjoyed myself very much. I made a few new friends there as well. After the meeting I talked to some of the others that were there and I shared my FaceBook with them. 
This past Sunday was the 1st ever Adult TG Support group meeting and I was glad I was able to attend. When I walked in through the door one of the people I met on Tuesday complimented me on my lipstick. I smiled and blushed a bit and say thank you. I didn't do too much, all I did was makeup and lipstick. Though the group was small it was nice because we all got to share enough about what was on our mind. I introduced my given name, and told them that I had grown rather fond of the name Sofia. Everyone greeted me as Sofia and it felt amazing. The rest of the evening I just introduced myself as Sofia. I also told them that I had recently come out to my spouse and another friend. I told them things were not going so well with my spouse. Since this was so recent, the response is what I expected and already knew the answer to, I need to give her time and space to process all this. While I realize this, and fully understand, it doesn't stop me from getting hurt. My spouse has completely lost her filter and just says whatever pops into her mind, and sadly I have gone to bed more times in tears than I care to count.
After the support group they had a vigil since Sunday was Transgender Day of Remembrance. I stayed and help setup. I kind of got scared and worried because a news crew came to record what was going on. Since I am not out to everyone I did not want to be seen so I stayed behind the camera. I declined reading a memorial card as I did not want to be filmed. I felt a bit embarrassed and ashamed to be hiding at something so heartfelt and moving. Afterwards I got to talk to some more of the folks at the event.
Earlier at lunch time I came out to two of my closest friends from work. They were happy for me that I was happy. After work we went out and we all talked. We talked for quite sometime. They took a genuine interest in me, and what I'm all about. They took the time to get a better understanding of what being Transgender means, and that it actually encompasses a wide spectrum. Of course they had a ton of questions for me, and I happily answered. In the end everything turned out great with my friends, they were genuinely happy for me, and honored that I was able to feel comfortable enough telling them about it.
When I got home I was in really great spirits. I had gotten my blood tests which were showing pretty good results, and coming out to two of my friends had gone very well. Plus a new dress that I had ordered came in and I absolutely loved it!!! I was talking to my wife and I told her that I told my two friends. I commented that I was a bit surprised that they were both okay with everything. My wife's comment to me "Well they don't have to look at you everyday" Like a dagger through my heart ... of course I was distraught. I can't recall what we said after that, but I left the room and went to my office and cried. I am grateful that I had some friends in the chatroom to help get me through my emotional turmoil. I totally get it, I understand that this is a lot for my spouse to process, I understand that this is probably not what she signed up for, I understand that it is going to take time, I completely empathize with what she must be going through, but her carelessness with her choice of words still hurts, and it hurts bad.
Thank you ErinLynn, Emma, Eden, and spacecat for being there and being supportive last night, it means a lot to me, and helped a lot!! *HUGS*
This past Sunday was the 1st ever Adult TG Support group meeting and I was glad I was able to attend. When I walked in through the door one of the people I met on Tuesday complimented me on my lipstick. I smiled and blushed a bit and say thank you. I didn't do too much, all I did was makeup and lipstick. Though the group was small it was nice because we all got to share enough about what was on our mind. I introduced my given name, and told them that I had grown rather fond of the name Sofia. Everyone greeted me as Sofia and it felt amazing. The rest of the evening I just introduced myself as Sofia. I also told them that I had recently come out to my spouse and another friend. I told them things were not going so well with my spouse. Since this was so recent, the response is what I expected and already knew the answer to, I need to give her time and space to process all this. While I realize this, and fully understand, it doesn't stop me from getting hurt. My spouse has completely lost her filter and just says whatever pops into her mind, and sadly I have gone to bed more times in tears than I care to count.
After the support group they had a vigil since Sunday was Transgender Day of Remembrance. I stayed and help setup. I kind of got scared and worried because a news crew came to record what was going on. Since I am not out to everyone I did not want to be seen so I stayed behind the camera. I declined reading a memorial card as I did not want to be filmed. I felt a bit embarrassed and ashamed to be hiding at something so heartfelt and moving. Afterwards I got to talk to some more of the folks at the event.
Earlier at lunch time I came out to two of my closest friends from work. They were happy for me that I was happy. After work we went out and we all talked. We talked for quite sometime. They took a genuine interest in me, and what I'm all about. They took the time to get a better understanding of what being Transgender means, and that it actually encompasses a wide spectrum. Of course they had a ton of questions for me, and I happily answered. In the end everything turned out great with my friends, they were genuinely happy for me, and honored that I was able to feel comfortable enough telling them about it.
When I got home I was in really great spirits. I had gotten my blood tests which were showing pretty good results, and coming out to two of my friends had gone very well. Plus a new dress that I had ordered came in and I absolutely loved it!!! I was talking to my wife and I told her that I told my two friends. I commented that I was a bit surprised that they were both okay with everything. My wife's comment to me "Well they don't have to look at you everyday" Like a dagger through my heart ... of course I was distraught. I can't recall what we said after that, but I left the room and went to my office and cried. I am grateful that I had some friends in the chatroom to help get me through my emotional turmoil. I totally get it, I understand that this is a lot for my spouse to process, I understand that this is probably not what she signed up for, I understand that it is going to take time, I completely empathize with what she must be going through, but her carelessness with her choice of words still hurts, and it hurts bad.
Thank you ErinLynn, Emma, Eden, and spacecat for being there and being supportive last night, it means a lot to me, and helped a lot!! *HUGS*
Good luck girl! Can't wait to hear all about how it went.