As I move forward at a snails pace towards my final destination ( wherever that may turn out to be ) I thought I would write a few things down whilst I ponder things in my tiny little mind.
Tonight, I am going to a facilitator workshop. Where I hope to pick up some tools on how to run a transgender ( or LGBT ) support group, Will I ever use those tools ? That is up in the air. However if nothing else it will be an enrichment to my personal self. These tools may eventually come in use when or if I decide to pull the plug on my male existence. I am sure that I will have lots of explaining to do, to many people in the factory were I work.
Although Typically, I class my self as a loner. I have had a fairly close group of friends as I grew up, even made some new friends when I came to Canada. But, in the last few years I feel myself withdrawing from those friends, I felt I was loosing things in common. I felt ( and still feel ) that I am hiding away my true self, but also realized that chances are most people would not understand my feelings or what I am even going through. So, my friends have dropped off as I fail to keep in touch with them, and I see them very rarely. This is obviously a conscious decision on my part, when or if I finally pull the plug I will have less external baggage to be concerned about.
As obvious as it may seem, the people I mostly call friends presently are full time transgender females, so that alone should point towards my present line of thinking.
The members of this site are pretty damn AWESOME, the support that members have for each other is outstanding. We are obviously a small close group with similar wants / needs / worries. For all the online communities I have ever signed up for, this is the longest I have ever stayed active, that says a lot.
Like a few of us, my wife although supportive has very mixed feelings about the whole thing. Bless her though, she is trying her hardest. She wants to try and make this work out, but is also concerned for the future. She has even started to go to a local support group for spouses. Unfortunately it has only just started, and not many other people are actually involved as yet.
I hope this post does not sound like a swan call, it isn't. I intend to be around for a lot longer yet.
Tonight, I am going to a facilitator workshop. Where I hope to pick up some tools on how to run a transgender ( or LGBT ) support group, Will I ever use those tools ? That is up in the air. However if nothing else it will be an enrichment to my personal self. These tools may eventually come in use when or if I decide to pull the plug on my male existence. I am sure that I will have lots of explaining to do, to many people in the factory were I work.
Although Typically, I class my self as a loner. I have had a fairly close group of friends as I grew up, even made some new friends when I came to Canada. But, in the last few years I feel myself withdrawing from those friends, I felt I was loosing things in common. I felt ( and still feel ) that I am hiding away my true self, but also realized that chances are most people would not understand my feelings or what I am even going through. So, my friends have dropped off as I fail to keep in touch with them, and I see them very rarely. This is obviously a conscious decision on my part, when or if I finally pull the plug I will have less external baggage to be concerned about.
As obvious as it may seem, the people I mostly call friends presently are full time transgender females, so that alone should point towards my present line of thinking.
The members of this site are pretty damn AWESOME, the support that members have for each other is outstanding. We are obviously a small close group with similar wants / needs / worries. For all the online communities I have ever signed up for, this is the longest I have ever stayed active, that says a lot.
Like a few of us, my wife although supportive has very mixed feelings about the whole thing. Bless her though, she is trying her hardest. She wants to try and make this work out, but is also concerned for the future. She has even started to go to a local support group for spouses. Unfortunately it has only just started, and not many other people are actually involved as yet.
I hope this post does not sound like a swan call, it isn't. I intend to be around for a lot longer yet.
I think it`s a wonderful thing to be still advancing other areas of your life at the same time, it`s a Very wise move and also extremely important, for Any of us on this path.
this journey is probably the Hardest journey any Human being can take, that of changing Genders, and as a result it can become all encompassing and we fixate on the final goal of being the person that is our internal gender, and very little else.
Few think about what happens when you get to this goal, Great so you`re Now a woman, fantastc!
Welcome to the 4 billion Other women out there, you`re just a woman the same(ish) as all the rest. is that it?
is that where it ends, Game Over, goal acheived, I`m a Woman.
You`ll need skills and plans and goals for After all of this surely!
this journey is probably the Hardest journey any Human being can take, that of changing Genders, and as a result it can become all encompassing and we fixate on the final goal of being the person that is our internal gender, and very little else.
Few think about what happens when you get to this goal, Great so you`re Now a woman, fantastc!
Welcome to the 4 billion Other women out there, you`re just a woman the same(ish) as all the rest. is that it?
is that where it ends, Game Over, goal acheived, I`m a Woman.
You`ll need skills and plans and goals for After all of this surely!
Janet, rather you decide you are going to turn in your "man card" or not, has very little to do with being a good facilitator. That is one reason I am not still going to the one group is because the facilitator there has a personality of a dead wet squirrel. Not outgoing at all, very introverted etc. . I think there would be a need for a TG who is not going "all the way" but staying in the middle. I truly believe there are more of us out there, than even we know of. They too, need a voice of friendship and understanding.
And, even if you never use the training, I think it could help you tons in the real world anyways.
And, even if you never use the training, I think it could help you tons in the real world anyways.
I had an awesome night as the workshop. Out of the 15 people present, I only knew 5 of them, so i interacted with 10 new people who only knew me as a female called Jannet. The outline of the course was very interesting, I was able to take lots of notes and if all else fails I will be able to apply it to my employment were as an employee committiee rep I do the workplace orientation.
Aria took the words right out of my mouth. Excellent advice.
As a teacher/facilitator you will become a great student.
You have a special perspective as a woman with many questions and I'm sure you will find your answers as you field questions from the members of your group.
Hugs
Bobbi
As a teacher/facilitator you will become a great student.
You have a special perspective as a woman with many questions and I'm sure you will find your answers as you field questions from the members of your group.
Hugs
Bobbi
Jannet:
Much like yourself, I tend to withdraw from local society. I find comfort in talking to my online friends, and when I have had enough for my anti-social nature, I can freely turn off the computer (no offense to all my beloved friends). That is just me.
Over the years, I have done likewise, pulled away from people I know locally, including some family. I don't bother with others in the world beyond my doors. I like it like that. Peace. solitude. Then again, if you look up my birthday, it will say I am the type who is ok with being alone..
I get my giggles in the chatroom with the antics of bun bun (sofia), Eden, Katie, Otter, and the beloved others, I speak to when I go in there.
pulling away from those you knew in your old life is not such a bad thing, sometimes, you need to clean house , when moving to a new life elsewhere
. too many times, if you take the baggage with you, it only gets in the way.
my motto was : new life, new friends. I had to measure up their qualities and their understanding of whom I am , none, sadly met the standards of acceptance and have since been replaced with more accepting friends. as harsh as it sounds. it was needed in my case.
But in all this, I want you to know, don't feel bad. embrace your newfound friends, and make more! should there be any from your past, don't let them in, unless they accept you for who you are and are destined to be.
Much like yourself, I tend to withdraw from local society. I find comfort in talking to my online friends, and when I have had enough for my anti-social nature, I can freely turn off the computer (no offense to all my beloved friends). That is just me.
Over the years, I have done likewise, pulled away from people I know locally, including some family. I don't bother with others in the world beyond my doors. I like it like that. Peace. solitude. Then again, if you look up my birthday, it will say I am the type who is ok with being alone..
I get my giggles in the chatroom with the antics of bun bun (sofia), Eden, Katie, Otter, and the beloved others, I speak to when I go in there.
pulling away from those you knew in your old life is not such a bad thing, sometimes, you need to clean house , when moving to a new life elsewhere
. too many times, if you take the baggage with you, it only gets in the way.my motto was : new life, new friends. I had to measure up their qualities and their understanding of whom I am , none, sadly met the standards of acceptance and have since been replaced with more accepting friends. as harsh as it sounds. it was needed in my case.
But in all this, I want you to know, don't feel bad. embrace your newfound friends, and make more! should there be any from your past, don't let them in, unless they accept you for who you are and are destined to be.
(25-11-2016, 07:21 PM)jannet.duff Wrote: As I move forward at a snails pace towards my final destination ( wherever that may turn out to be ) I thought I would write a few things down whilst I ponder things in my tiny little mind.
Tonight, I am going to a facilitator workshop. Where I hope to pick up some tools on how to run a transgender ( or LGBT ) support group, Will I ever use those tools ? That is up in the air. However if nothing else it will be an enrichment to my personal self. These tools may eventually come in use when or if I decide to pull the plug on my male existence. I am sure that I will have lots of explaining to do, to many people in the factory were I work.
Although Typically, I class my self as a loner. I have had a fairly close group of friends as I grew up, even made some new friends when I came to Canada. But, in the last few years I feel myself withdrawing from those friends, I felt I was loosing things in common. I felt ( and still feel ) that I am hiding away my true self, but also realized that chances are most people would not understand my feelings or what I am even going through. So, my friends have dropped off as I fail to keep in touch with them, and I see them very rarely. This is obviously a conscious decision on my part, when or if I finally pull the plug I will have less external baggage to be concerned about.
As obvious as it may seem, the people I mostly call friends presently are full time transgender females, so that alone should point towards my present line of thinking.
The members of this site are pretty damn AWESOME, the support that members have for each other is outstanding. We are obviously a small close group with similar wants / needs / worries. For all the online communities I have ever signed up for, this is the longest I have ever stayed active, that says a lot.
Like a few of us, my wife although supportive has very mixed feelings about the whole thing. Bless her though, she is trying her hardest. She wants to try and make this work out, but is also concerned for the future. She has even started to go to a local support group for spouses. Unfortunately it has only just started, and not many other people are actually involved as yet.
I hope this post does not sound like a swan call, it isn't. I intend to be around for a lot longer yet.
If you open the door to any form of spirituality, the message comes that we are *all* children of the One Spirit. If you analyse deeply, those things that make us "different" - none of them logically should put us into conflict with our fellows. If the effort to be inclusive seems to be a challenge, that is positive, because if we only associate the people in our own little patch we are not being inclusive at all.
The stories in my head tell me I am not "properly" male. I have thought carefully about how to react to the stories. The answer came to put the stories in the bigger perspective. Consider and value the good that I can do regardless of any concern about sexuality - and make sure sexuality doesn't hold me back. Do I really have to make any stark choices? If I knew that biology is behind the stories then perhaps I'd say I have no choice. Though just because the stories have been around a long time doesn't mean that they must be founded on biology. Jannet ,All this is just something about my stuff - I'm not saying its anything like the same as your stuff, but I just felt like saying it and no doubt you agree, thats what this group's about. Hugs to you, A
Janet-
So glad to hear that we will be able to benefit from your hard won wisdom for a long time to come! I always appreciate your perspective, and your apparent clarity of thought while navigating through the pink fog. I think you will be a great facilitator. I think you already are! Thanks for sharing your journey so freely.
So glad to hear that we will be able to benefit from your hard won wisdom for a long time to come! I always appreciate your perspective, and your apparent clarity of thought while navigating through the pink fog. I think you will be a great facilitator. I think you already are! Thanks for sharing your journey so freely.
Thanks for your support.. Sometimes I wish I was a brave in real life as I seem to feel in my head.
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