Posts: 65
Threads: 5
Joined: Apr 2015
I didn't know if I should share this story about something that happened to myself or not bother anyone else with it. as I have been on this quest for breast going on the third year I have questioned the why would I want this. So in my searches for an answer I started to think that I may be actually be transgender but could never prove to myself that I was for certain, till two nights ago I had the most wonderful experience regarding this. Anyone who reads this may think this person is out there! As usual a somewhat slumber I was in when out of nowhere a voice from within said, yes I am transgender, and immediately the most peaceful serene feeling went through my body from head to toe just like a heavy weight had been lifted and at that point I knew for certain my answer had presented itself. Yes I am for certain transgender and I am female to some extent somewhere on the gender spectrum. The feeling of joy was so good, where I go from here I don't know, would be nice to do some therapy for this. I know this sounds korny to read something like this but it did happenandas I am not out to anyone I decided to share this with this forum for there is no one else to talk to about it. For certain I have struggled with this the guilt of feeling this way but things look better at this point. Thanks for listening and I hope it wasn't to strange.
Jazmynne.
Posts: 1,481
Threads: 27
Joined: May 2015
Hi Jazmynne!
It sure would be nice if everyone guardian angel would help them out in such a decisive way!
I think your next step would be to talk things through with a gender therapist. He/she can give you some good insight as to whats next for you and discuss your plans.
We are all here to help you out along your trip, so dont be shy.
Bobbi
Posts: 65
Threads: 5
Joined: Apr 2015
26-02-2017, 06:55 PM
Thankyou Bobbie for your words of encouragement, you are a big plus on this forum, I can only explain that it was a helping hand from above. I have never felt such serenity and joy and relief its just like its ok tobe transgender. I now know that my female side is for sure there and she wants to be acknowledged. I however do not wish to abandon my male side either. I am excited to things to come Jazmynne
Posts: 308
Threads: 8
Joined: Jan 2016
Dear Jazzmyne,
thank you for sharing your story. I think that you are not bothering anyone and that your story is definitely not corny. And I can relate, because I experienced something similar and not once... However, for me it was not about accepting I am transgendered, because I know it since my early puberty and possibly even earlier. For me it was mostly about accepting the true extent of my condition and it too happened at night and it was very similar to what you have experienced. Be happy that for you it was connected only to positive feelings!
For me, it was not that easy. I remember several nights of anxiety, anguish and struggle to accept what I felt.
I agree it is good idea to explore it more with a therapist. I believe that for us, transgeder people, it is important to acknowledge our condition. I think that for us self-exploration is not an option as in other people, but rather an imperative. Without this acceptance we are not able to fully develop our personality, because I think many problems we face are rooted in our transgender status.
So be prepared for a great adventure!
Posts: 3,187
Threads: 64
Joined: Sep 2012
Rollerone, welcome to the club..... Guilt, pleasure, sadness and euphoria too... If many of us here would think about it, your story would resonate so loudly... I agree with both of my friends. If nothing else a therapist can help guide you through emotions that have been in the past and yet to happen...
Posts: 164
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Joined: Sep 2016
For me it was less metaphysical and more just a huge sense of relief from the war inside my brain ending.
I was standing up to my fear, and committing to keep standing.
After all, my biggest fear was of having my hopes shattered on the ground at my feet, to start transitioning and not be able to finish. When I realized things would be even worse if I did nothing, my fears were lifted.
Posts: 1,358
Threads: 39
Joined: Aug 2015
I had a lifetime of psychological help and psychiatric help and participation in support groups. On top of that I decided to help others and get licensed in healthcare, drug plans, and life insurance. If you need help finding help, just ask.
Posts: 361
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Joined: Sep 2015
Giving yourself permission to be who you really are is not out there. Good luck on whatever direction you choose to follow..liberating isn't tit?:-)
Posts: 65
Threads: 5
Joined: Apr 2015
Thank you ladies for your support and encouragement. I have been looking into on line therapy as it is the only way to do it at this time. Even before this awakening I was spending time at susans place reading what some of their experiences have been. I have not seen any one who has major regrets for what ever they went thru and their journey. The last few days I have realized for the last two years I have been in denial of what is to be and how far I will go. The feelings I am having still feel so right for myself, when I look in the mirror I see someone who will probably never pass as fully female but that does not stop my feeling of stepping into womanhood. I also realize that I have to go slow with this because of family wife and children. As I have had to go back to being employed is another reason for being in stealth mode for now but still does not stop my feelings of being so right. I have cut back on the pm also for now to slow my growth down some. This just feels wonderful.
Jazmynne.
Posts: 96
Threads: 8
Joined: Jan 2015
(26-02-2017, 05:09 PM)rollerone Wrote: I didn't know if I should share this story about something that happened to myself or not bother anyone else with it. as I have been on this quest for breast going on the third year I have questioned the why would I want this. So in my searches for an answer I started to think that I may be actually be transgender but could never prove to myself that I was for certain, till two nights ago I had the most wonderful experience regarding this. Anyone who reads this may think this person is out there! As usual a somewhat slumber I was in when out of nowhere a voice from within said, yes I am transgender, and immediately the most peaceful serene feeling went through my body from head to toe just like a heavy weight had been lifted and at that point I knew for certain my answer had presented itself. Yes I am for certain transgender and I am female to some extent somewhere on the gender spectrum. The feeling of joy was so good, where I go from here I don't know, would be nice to do some therapy for this. I know this sounds korny to read something like this but it did happenandas I am not out to anyone I decided to share this with this forum for there is no one else to talk to about it. For certain I have struggled with this the guilt of feeling this way but things look better at this point. Thanks for listening and I hope it wasn't to strange. Jazmynne.
