30-08-2017, 05:21 AM
This conversation took place about 2 weeks ago.. And some things are too personal, and frankly, not germane to this conversation, so therefore not in this little "report". But, I thought this might help others when it came their time to confess to wife, family or significant other. Please, any constructive thoughts will be gladly accepted.
Back to the story..... We got into a discussion a few weeks back about our lack of communication on Doctor's appointments and such. So, the previous day I sent her a text about next weeks schedule. On the way home, she said something about all of my doctor's appointments and my therapist. That I should be at my max for out of pocket soon if not already.
I told her that if she would like me too, I would cancel my upcoming Doctor's appointment. It's for mostly routine, non gender issues like tracking my b/p and such. She got a little pissed. I told her it really was no big deal, that if she was concerned about the frequency of doctor visits, I would be more than happy to cancel a few if it kept us from fighting. Hand to God, I was as calm in my reply as if she had asked me if I liked supper or any thing else mundane. I was being sincere with her, and showing her that I was NOT trying to pick a fight.
After a few, she came right out and asked me when I was going to switch genders......... WOW, where the hell did that come from, I asked....
I told her that I was NOT going to be a Catlin Jenner.... That she has known for a year or better about me being Transgender, that she had THAT mixed up with being a Tran sexual like Catlin.
She said she knows that I have a device to , in her words, suck my tits out, and that I was taking vitamins to feminize..... And she further stated that she was NOT a dumb shit. I told her that the gains I've made have NOT been vitamins. I told her she KNEW for years, that I was a cross dresser and that I was given an opportunity to further it to where I am comfortable.
Well at that, we both were very still, no chatting till we got home.
That's what started the conversation.... or the "Chat" that I have dreaded to get into.
After we had been home for like 5 mins, I asked her if she would like to continue with our conversation. I was trying to give her an out so that she could "digest" the chat we had coming from her work place. Or if she sincerely was worried, curious or scared I would try to ease those conditions for her.
The Conversation
It was Tuesday afternoon, if I remember right. Anyways..... I have a hard time telling anymore rather wifey pooh is just asking a question or being ridiculous. A lot of times, I cant tell if she's being an ass or really concerned. She's gotten me to the point where I am defensive most of the time, whenever we "discuss" my "condition".
Back to the story..... We got into a discussion a few weeks back about our lack of communication on Doctor's appointments and such. So, the previous day I sent her a text about next weeks schedule. On the way home, she said something about all of my doctor's appointments and my therapist. That I should be at my max for out of pocket soon if not already.
I told her that if she would like me too, I would cancel my upcoming Doctor's appointment. It's for mostly routine, non gender issues like tracking my b/p and such. She got a little pissed. I told her it really was no big deal, that if she was concerned about the frequency of doctor visits, I would be more than happy to cancel a few if it kept us from fighting. Hand to God, I was as calm in my reply as if she had asked me if I liked supper or any thing else mundane. I was being sincere with her, and showing her that I was NOT trying to pick a fight.
After a few, she came right out and asked me when I was going to switch genders......... WOW, where the hell did that come from, I asked....
I told her that I was NOT going to be a Catlin Jenner
She said she knows that I have a device to , in her words, suck my tits out, and that I was taking vitamins to feminize..... And she further stated that she was NOT a dumb shit. I told her that the gains I've made have NOT been vitamins. I told her she KNEW for years, that I was a cross dresser and that I was given an opportunity to further it to where I am comfortable.
Well at that, we both were very still, no chatting till we got home.
That's what started the conversation.... or the "Chat" that I have dreaded to get into.
After we had been home for like 5 mins, I asked her if she would like to continue with our conversation. I was trying to give her an out so that she could "digest" the chat we had coming from her work place. Or if she sincerely was worried, curious or scared I would try to ease those conditions for her.
As I mentioned. After we were home for like 5 mins or so, we started chatting. Or maybe I should say I did. I thought that since she hadn't erupted like a volcano, or broken out in tears it was time to get the "elephant out of the room".
I restated that I had NO intentions of any SRS, That I just sometimes have the need to feel more feminine. That it overtakes me, and maybe that is some of the reason for my ebb's and flow's of emotion and lack of stability for the last ten years. That, and my near fatal heart attack really played with my brain!
I restated that I had NO intentions of any SRS, That I just sometimes have the need to feel more feminine. That it overtakes me, and maybe that is some of the reason for my ebb's and flow's of emotion and lack of stability for the last ten years. That, and my near fatal heart attack really played with my brain!
I told her that I received several theories on why and how come now. One of them was my therapist thinks I was born this way, that I had forcibly repressed it since I was a child. That my heart attack and medical retirement made it more difficult for me to fight it any longer.
My regular Medical Doctor thinks that I may of had a "mini Temporal seizure" or stroke either during my heart surgery or sometime later. ( She explained that being put on then taken off Heart/Lung machine for major surgery has been know to cause strokes and blood clots to form!) That, the part of the brain controls inhibitions, thoughts of paranoia and general feelings. And that my "Other" Doctor thinks it could be a combination of being wired partially female in the brain, and the life altering near death heart attack.
I told her that my doctor and I think that we wonder if my old doctor didn't miss something before, during and after my heart episode. That old doctor, in my opinion is a dam quack. That's the reason I dumped him within a year of my heart attack. Anyways, he didn't know that I had a heart problem until like the 2 or 3rd week of me complaining. ( the heart specialist said I may of had up to 4 heart attacks during them 2 weeks.) I also developed an infection that had turned my testicles into the size of tennis balls that were painful. ( Took my original doctor 2 weeks to get the right combo of drugs to rid me of them.)
So, I asked her where that put us on the Grand Scale of Things. She said that she knew I had been into cross-dressing for quite some time. That she had learned to deal or ignore it. But my transgenderism, cross dressing and purposely feminizing was a little harder for her just to say.... "Oh Well". But as far as things go, that my Grand Kids know I wear bra's most of the time, And that so far, it hasn't created much of a problem accept she didn't want my oldest Grandson embarrassed when friends came to visit.
Also, she didn't want the family embarrassed when or if we go out like to dinner together, or in general public. That she could let it roll off of her, if it was just the two of us, but NOT if and when if involved our families. I told her that I understood wanting to protect the family for I felt that way too. And that is not a condition that she needed to worry about setting, I was more than good about it.
Also, she didn't want the family embarrassed when or if we go out like to dinner together, or in general public. That she could let it roll off of her, if it was just the two of us, but NOT if and when if involved our families. I told her that I understood wanting to protect the family for I felt that way too. And that is not a condition that she needed to worry about setting, I was more than good about it.
I told her the one reason the other doctor thought is was like a mini stroke was the fact that last year they had problems understanding why my FSH hormone, Testosterone levels were very high, but I had developed Gynecomastia as well. They figure something had screwed up my hormones, and with so much T it was being converted into Estrogen. The doctors told me that if I was already leaning Trans, the extra E would further push the condition forward,
So, I guess things are stable for now, but I cannot help but feel things have probably changed forever. Rather it's for the good or not, I have no idea. But, if I can keep communications open and such, I hope things will work out. That and setting a few more rules that I can deal and live with. Maybe, just maybe I am hopeful???
End of "The Chat"
Before anyone asks.... No, I haven't told her that my GD put me on Female HRT.
Sorry for the "novella", but like I said. If this helps other's belay their fears or maybe gives the the help or courage to come clean with loved ones then it's really worth the read then.
