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Gamer's Program

#21

(10-09-2017, 11:39 PM)GamerGuy Wrote:  It's been about 4 or 5 days since I decided to raise my E dose, and I'm feeling angry at everything. It's like my body is saying " haha trololo lol" and raising my T production into overdrive. Also woke up with a morning "visitor" today. 

What, The F#$&.

I've heard of others get the same results.
Experienced it, too.
  ;-)

Don't worry, enjoy it if you can... 

BTW, Latinas tend to expect a Macho man. Or a bitchy woman, in woman on woman interactions (They'd say opinionated and strong willed.  YMMV. But it's a good time to start fighting back. And fighting dirty is EXPECTED. Document all you can...  Research laws on recording, MassiveTwoShits is a dual-consent state, for recording others - unless it's the police recording you. But many other states, such as New Jersey, are single-consent - meaning, if you know you're recording it, it's admissible in a court of law. Suggest taking a look at CopBlock to get their free app for recording to the cloud...  If you can record out there, get a means to record EVERYTHING, and try it many times. Make sure the phone is always fully charged, or you have a backup battery, and just record EVERYTHING. You never know when a control freak might be a problem...  And BPD/NPD will beat you down "for your own good." You may need to mortgage your future, I don't know, but credit cards can be paid eventually; suicide is permanent.)

I'd also suggest more stress relief, such as yoga. Might even be worth trying to play her a bit - E.G., is she WOMAN enough to take / go with you to a yoga class? It'll sound strange, but - maybe reversing the old "Femme your hubby" guide would work. Change the incentive, but break down her support and control matrix, every chance you get. Gaslight her. E.G., she always puts the car keys somewhere? Move them every time you can. A few inches, maybe - other side of the table, say. then, another room. Or put them in your pocket until she goes looking...  After she's looking elsewhere, put them where she just looked...

Keep her guessing. Change shampoos, soaps, whatever, always with plausible deniability. A few drops of stinkbomb juice in her pillow...?  Or, if she can't stand a perfume smell, a laundry detergent or skin cream that smells like it (and cannot be found in the house). Especially with recording, you'll have her on video making "ridiculous" claims, and the police will sort things out but fast when they know it's all recorded. She'll sound paranoid, and you've got uninterrupted video proving you couldn't/didn't do anything. Bring a motion to question her sanity... It's war, man, everything is justified.
Yes, EVERYTHING.

You can get her to question herself, you're halfway there. You get the police to question her, it's a done deal. But double-check the laws on recording and how you can annoy her without being caught. Watch out for her recording you (although that makes it REALLY easy - you get her to record everything, with you recording everything, and when she gets worked up, on HER OWN video....  It either "goes missing" (she deleted it), or she admits she's psycho.)

I'd suggest in the mean time, look at "shrink for men" site. http://shrink4men.com is the root.

http://shrink4men.com/2016/07/15/how-to-...easy-steps is a satire, but might give you a sardonic laugh at your situation...
And a means to drive her nuts, if you can script. Random blocking of sites, random changes, use a sniffer on her traffic, key logger, etc. Then post under her ID...  You can be brutal, and have her friends turn on her...  Flirting with their men, for example. Think of it as practice for "later."  ;-)

I have told good people before, they do not understand how the evil people of the world think.
I'm not even close to the mind games they'll play, as Gamer knows; this line is more meant for everyone else.  You DO NOT understand unless you've been through it. As an example in film - See "The Great Gatsby" - the original, not the modern remake. The woman, whose name eludes me, has no feelings for others - everything is a joke, a laugh, including killing someone. And including the murder of the man she's cheating on her husband with, who takes the blame for the murder she commits.

THAT is the sort of creature we are dealing with.

Hang tough, Gamer. There's no respawn here, so you need to drive HER to seek a "respawn."
Do so with a clear conscience.

BTW, follow-up for my situation, just as an aside:
The Problem Child is away. Went to New Jersey. We had to drive. She was "giving us something to do on the weekends." Boston to Central New Jersey. This weekend. Next weekend, Weekend after.  Weekend after that.
(I'm taking a vacation to go see my mother. It is marginally cheaper to drive than take a train. Grandparents were going on their vacation next weekend. On a bus tour. She KNEW that, mind, it wasn't a secret. She planned to stay two weeks at their place anyway. These are the staunch Democrat Christians - who wanted her to go to church, but since she's a Wiccan, she told them off. Anyway...)
She got her pot seeds and is growing a few plants, it's legal here.
She took the ASVAB (Military aptitude test) - essentially failed it. AFTER she made me buy her books to raise her score - which she never opened. We had to pay for them. She forgot the pullup assist band she made us buy, and when she comes back, she has to make it past the physical...  Which she hasn't done jack for as far as I can tell. Just sits in her room, plays video games, and eats junk, if she eats at all. Tells us off regularly.

So - this is the sort of "strong personality" Gamer is dealing with.
Psycho Control Freak with an attitude problem and an unfounded "high opinion" of themselves.

-Dianna
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#22

Nice rant Dianna1395, but not really sure how this explains his morning woody???
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#23

Pardon my language in advance, but....

Holy shit Dianna, judging by your passionate response, you've obviously been in my situation.
Unfortunately, I too damn nice to carry out any of that, and that's probably why I keep ending up with inconsiderate assholes who take me for all I am worth and toss out the used up husk.

As for my raised dose and risks of DVT,  I have taken on a healthier diet and any time I find myself sitting for a prolonged period of time (such as PC gaming) I will alternate bouncing my knees to keep my legs moving. I have considered an asprin regimen,  but I don't have enough information to know if it would help prevent DVT from HRT.

I get jealous looking at everyone else's transition timelines. Oh you started having signs that its working 3 weeks in? I've been waiting 3 YEARS
   
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#24

(11-09-2017, 04:38 AM)Aria Wrote:  Nice rant Dianna1395, but not really sure how this explains his morning woody???

There may be no connection, Lotus, but I know cortisol will be raised, insulin will be screwed, and the body may respond by increasing T.
Not guaranteed.

But I don't know enough about the interactions of cortisol and free T to explain.
I could go through t-nation, usually what I see is that cortisol causes fat gain - suggesting lowered overall T, but not necessarily a huge decrease.
But then, what about nitrogen transport in the body? More nitrogen = more effects from T. (NO3, I think it is.)
And the insulin change alters the body chemistry, but that could be anabolic or lipolytic, I don't know. And altering the pH of our system, does that sensitize or de-sensitize the receptors?

Chronic stress makes it worse, as the mind and body are unable to resume normal function. Similar to starvation experiments, the body is always preferential to storing fat, but the starvation effects make it store the fat in the wrong places, like the liver and the abdomen. Intra-abdominal fat.

So, increased nitrogen, maybe increased free T, changes in pH that sensitized the body to act on different messages, and... What, I don't know what's causing it. Can even be because of a change in estrogen levels, the body trying to establish a new homeostasis, by increasing T production.

-Dianna
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#25

(11-09-2017, 07:01 AM)GamerGuy Wrote:  Pardon my language in advance, but....

Holy shit Dianna, judging by your passionate response, you've obviously been in my situation.
Unfortunately, I too damn nice to carry out any of that, and that's probably why I keep ending up with inconsiderate assholes who take me for all I am worth and toss out the used up husk.

As for my raised dose and risks of DVT,  I have taken on a healthier diet and any time I find myself sitting for a prolonged period of time (such as PC gaming) I will alternate bouncing my knees to keep my legs moving. I have considered an asprin regimen,  but I don't have enough information to know if it would help prevent DVT from HRT.

I get jealous looking at everyone else's transition timelines. Oh you started having signs that its working 3 weeks in? I've been waiting 3 YEARS

Hi, Gamer,
Yes - it's my ongoing soap opera life, without even the juicy things like sex.

Offhand, if you limit leafy greens, add in some aspirin, avoid fish oils, and move as often as possible, squats, walking, etc.,you can probably limit the risk quite well.
Controls vitamin K which affects clotting factors.
I'd suggest talking to a doctor or stalking a medical board for better information, though. Look up warfarin's limitations (anticoagulant, affected by vitamin K, which is affected by greens and fish oils.)

You just need to be careful and tweak it a bit. Don't drop greens completely, but substitute beans for spinach, for example.
Kale is bad, spinach, broccoli, lettuce, asparagus, fish oil, krill oil, shell fish, but beyond that I don't know. String beans aren't bad.
-Dianna
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#26

Damn... and I thought my daily lunch salad was helping! You just listed several of my favorite foods Sad

Well.... no pain, no gain....right?

But beans? I like green and wax beans, but baked beans are OFF the menu. I would be deemed an environmental hazard and my poor butt would get capped off!
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#27

(13-09-2017, 01:10 AM)GamerGuy Wrote:  Damn... and I thought my daily lunch salad was helping! You just listed several of my favorite foods Sad

Well.... no pain, no gain....right?

But beans? I like green and wax beans, but baked beans are OFF the menu. I would be deemed an environmental hazard and my poor butt would get capped off!

LOL
Activated charcoal pills.  :-)

I was thinking string beans. Charcoal will clean out the body, too. Makes the gas odorless, while you take it.  :-)

If you've always been eating the salads, you'd be OK, WRT Warfarin. (I think, not a doctor, you'd still need checks! Just limiting Vitamin K, which is why the woman can't have salad any more.)
You can keep going, generally speaking, but if you want to drop the Vitamin K, you'd need to change the salad type. Field greens, cabbage, lettuce, bok choy, asparagus, brussel sprouts, broccoli, etc, etc, etc, all need to be controlled. They have good things, too, though - calcium, for example, which we need.
So...  Either supplements, or you take the risk, and look into extra methods of controlling it. Warfarin, aspirin, whatever would counteract the Vitmain K - which, like our issues, is beyond the scope of this place.  ;-)  Best bet would be to talk to a doctor.

-Dianna
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#28

Alright... I'll look into alternatives to limit K intake.

Today though, I've been lurking other forums and find most others that are on serious HRT taking as much as 6-8 mg of oral estradiol. The reasoning being that the T blockers will starve your body of hormones and cause you constant fatigue unless you supplement with a (proper?) dose of E.

That said, fatigue is a constant issue for me ever since I started HRT. I think it might be time to dream of slapping my endo across the face.
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#29

Fuck it. I give up. Nothing is working short of PM, and I can't afford that. You'd think that pharma would be stronger and specifically engineered to do it better, but no. Or I'm just one of those poor bastards that have to try a hundred times harder at everything just to get the same distance as anyone else on the planet. Yeah, I think that's it.
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#30

It took pharma about 3 months before I noticed anything positive..  I think it takes that long for the weaker herbals to work out of the system.  It just don't happen over the weekend. But if you have been on HRT for over a year, I would think you should be doing o.k.. I would ask the Endo WTF is going on.
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