[Laura-F]

How many have gone through the struggles or internal weakness of coming out as transgender to family? I'm afraid to tell my kids im afraid to lose them. My wife i know i will lose as she is completely religious and is outwardly expressive against my feminine side. I'm afraid my kids will follow their mom. It causes an internal struggle because at this juncture in my life am i being selfish? I just wanted to finally be me and not secretly living it. 
Support group.. advice..strength needed

Luv,
Ali

I know exactly what you mean. I think most if not all of us have gone through those struggles one way or another. If you want a detailed answer, send me a pm and we can discuss it. I would need to know a bit more information though and some of the answer may not be easy for you to hear, but you should hear it.

[AliP]

How many have gone through the struggles or internal weakness of coming out as transgender to family? I'm afraid to tell my kids im afraid to lose them. My wife i know i will lose as she is completely religious and is outwardly expressive against my feminine side. I'm afraid my kids will follow their mom. It causes an internal struggle because at this juncture in my life am i being selfish? I just wanted to finally be me and not secretly living it. 
Support group.. advice..strength needed

Luv,
Ali

I know exactly what you mean. I think most if not all of us have gone through those struggles one way or another. If you want a detailed answer, send me a pm and we can discuss it. I would need to know a bit more information though and some of the answer may not be easy for you to hear, but you should hear it.

That is what I am fretting most. I know the day has to come, I can't be fully free until I do so. I know that. I need to find a way to make peace with it. My therapist should help me sort through the mess. Hopefully... all in due time.. but this second half of my life is much shorter. So I want to be a little selfish and live it in a manner that I'm happy.. you know the saying, happy wife happy life.. I've tried to make everyone happy all the time and I'm miserable all the time. It's time to change that perception and be happy. Life is short and time on earth is shorter therefore make the best of it. That's the saying anyway right? Thanks for response.. 

Ali

[jannet.duff]

I am with my regular family Dr for everyday stuff, but i see a gender Dr for my hormones.

Thank you Jannet, my PCP came back and suggested I schedule an appointment with an endocrine specialist however he will be more than happy to continue being my PCP. That was a relief. Do you still have to get the letter from the counselor to begin your HRT or has that been abolished? The counselor I initially went to I really really liked. They know my biological male name but always call me Ali and the office manager was always so sweet. They ended up not being in my insurance network and cost 120.00 per session so I had to back away. I found another one nearby me in hopes to meet with her in a couple weeks. We'll see!

Ali

My original therapist was also registered to provide hormones, i stayed with her for 12 months, i was getting frustrated as my estrogen levels were low, i had no Testosterone on 150mg spiro, but instead of more estrogen she wanted to give me more spiro .??
She only liked giving patches, so my levels were equal to a 60 year old female. 
I just jumped to another Dr ( i just called and made an appointment ) who gave me a script fro injections.
Best thing i ever did.

[AliP]

I am with my regular family Dr for everyday stuff, but i see a gender Dr for my hormones.

Thank you Jannet, my PCP came back and suggested I schedule an appointment with an endocrine specialist however he will be more than happy to continue being my PCP. That was a relief. Do you still have to get the letter from the counselor to begin your HRT or has that been abolished? The counselor I initially went to I really really liked. They know my biological male name but always call me Ali and the office manager was always so sweet. They ended up not being in my insurance network and cost 120.00 per session so I had to back away. I found another one nearby me in hopes to meet with her in a couple weeks. We'll see!

Ali

My original therapist was also registered to provide hormones, i stayed with her for 12 months, i was getting frustrated as my estrogen levels were low, i had no Testosterone on 150mg spiro, but instead of more estrogen she wanted to give me more spiro .??
She only liked giving patches, so my levels were equal to a 60 year old female. 
I just jumped to another Dr ( i just called and made an appointment ) who gave me a script fro injections.
Best thing i ever did.

The reason why I want the patch is the reduced risk of blood clots. I have Type 2 diabetes which I am working very hard to reverse my A1C numbers are almost back to normal range. They said the injections can actually increase clot risks so I don't want that.
My therapist is just that but she can provide the letter to begin HRT. I'm meeting with an endocrinologist next week. Hopefully with my estrogen levels already up there, it should help matters. 
Speaking of Spiro, I heard that spiro can also be dangerous and there are newer t blocker prescriptions that would be better than spiro. Do you have any insight in this? Your thoughts?

[jannet.duff]

I am with my regular family Dr for everyday stuff, but i see a gender Dr for my hormones.

Thank you Jannet, my PCP came back and suggested I schedule an appointment with an endocrine specialist however he will be more than happy to continue being my PCP. That was a relief. Do you still have to get the letter from the counselor to begin your HRT or has that been abolished? The counselor I initially went to I really really liked. They know my biological male name but always call me Ali and the office manager was always so sweet. They ended up not being in my insurance network and cost 120.00 per session so I had to back away. I found another one nearby me in hopes to meet with her in a couple weeks. We'll see!

Ali

My original therapist was also registered to provide hormones, i stayed with her for 12 months, i was getting frustrated as my estrogen levels were low, i had no Testosterone on 150mg spiro, but instead of more estrogen she wanted to give me more spiro .??
She only liked giving patches, so my levels were equal to a 60 year old female. 
I just jumped to another Dr ( i just called and made an appointment ) who gave me a script fro injections.
Best thing i ever did.

The reason why I want the patch is the reduced risk of blood clots. I have Type 2 diabetes which I am working very hard to reverse my A1C numbers are almost back to normal range. They said the injections can actually increase clot risks so I don't want that.
My therapist is just that but she can provide the letter to begin HRT. I'm meeting with an endocrinologist next week. Hopefully with my estrogen levels already up there, it should help matters. 
Speaking of Spiro, I heard that spiro can also be dangerous and there are newer t blocker prescriptions that would be better than spiro. Do you have any insight in this? Your thoughts?

Any hormone thats classed as bio identical, and is delivered without passing through the liver ( parental delivery ) have very little to no risk of blood clots. Injections have the lowest risk of all the options.
A supplement called Rutin, takes that risk to 0.
I cut myself the other day, blood clots were the least of my worries, i bled like a pig, on a frigging paper cut!!!

[AliP]

I am with my regular family Dr for everyday stuff, but i see a gender Dr for my hormones.

Thank you Jannet, my PCP came back and suggested I schedule an appointment with an endocrine specialist however he will be more than happy to continue being my PCP. That was a relief. Do you still have to get the letter from the counselor to begin your HRT or has that been abolished? The counselor I initially went to I really really liked. They know my biological male name but always call me Ali and the office manager was always so sweet. They ended up not being in my insurance network and cost 120.00 per session so I had to back away. I found another one nearby me in hopes to meet with her in a couple weeks. We'll see!

Ali

My original therapist was also registered to provide hormones, i stayed with her for 12 months, i was getting frustrated as my estrogen levels were low, i had no Testosterone on 150mg spiro, but instead of more estrogen she wanted to give me more spiro .??
She only liked giving patches, so my levels were equal to a 60 year old female. 
I just jumped to another Dr ( i just called and made an appointment ) who gave me a script fro injections.
Best thing i ever did.

The reason why I want the patch is the reduced risk of blood clots. I have Type 2 diabetes which I am working very hard to reverse my A1C numbers are almost back to normal range. They said the injections can actually increase clot risks so I don't want that.
My therapist is just that but she can provide the letter to begin HRT. I'm meeting with an endocrinologist next week. Hopefully with my estrogen levels already up there, it should help matters. 
Speaking of Spiro, I heard that spiro can also be dangerous and there are newer t blocker prescriptions that would be better than spiro. Do you have any insight in this? Your thoughts?

Any hormone thats classed as bio identical, and is delivered without passing through the liver ( parental delivery ) have very little to no risk of blood clots. Injections have the lowest risk of all the options.
A supplement called Rutin, takes that risk to 0.
I cut myself the other day, blood clots were the least of my worries, i bled like a pig, on a frigging paper cut!!!

so let me asking you something, when you finally got on HRT did you quit all the herbals? I know you talked about White Peony and Reshi etc. Do you still take anything? I just purchased two more bottles of BO, one more of PG and Reshi and they arrived today but now that I have my HRT Dr appt next week felt I should stop them. I have to send them back to get a refund. But I am going to keep taking fenugreek and blessed thistle since they help increase mammary gland growth quickly. Which I can attest too.

Thanks again Jannet, between you and Megan you've been very helpful in my journey.

Luv,
Ali

[Laura-F]

How many have gone through the struggles or internal weakness of coming out as transgender to family? I'm afraid to tell my kids im afraid to lose them. My wife i know i will lose as she is completely religious and is outwardly expressive against my feminine side. I'm afraid my kids will follow their mom. It causes an internal struggle because at this juncture in my life am i being selfish? I just wanted to finally be me and not secretly living it. 
Support group.. advice..strength needed

Luv,
Ali

I know exactly what you mean. I think most if not all of us have gone through those struggles one way or another. If you want a detailed answer, send me a pm and we can discuss it. I would need to know a bit more information though and some of the answer may not be easy for you to hear, but you should hear it.

That is what I am fretting most. I know the day has to come, I can't be fully free until I do so. I know that. I need to find a way to make peace with it. My therapist should help me sort through the mess. Hopefully... all in due time.. but this second half of my life is much shorter. So I want to be a little selfish and live it in a manner that I'm happy.. you know the saying, happy wife happy life.. I've tried to make everyone happy all the time and I'm miserable all the time. It's time to change that perception and be happy. Life is short and time on earth is shorter therefore make the best of it. That's the saying anyway right? Thanks for response.. 

Ali

It sounds like you find it difficult to communicate well with others especially those closest to you. It causes you to be walking on eggshells. Read the book by the same name and read Boundaries. That alone could save you some therapy sessions. You clearly have other issues not gender related, but your gender issues do overlap so, be sure to let your therapist know. Communication is key in marriage and failure to communicate leads to one or both partners being miserable, frustrated and or angry at the other. Does any of that sound familiar to you? Failure to communicate will eventually lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship irregardless of any gender issues. Your marriage is on fire. Carefully seek counseling. Coming out to your wife and kids will not help put the fire out, but will add a special kind of devastating fire to it. You can come out to your family and end up with a better and stronger relationship, but first you must put out that fire. I can give you a little bit more, but it must be done by private message as I would have to ask things that might not be appropriate for an open forum.

[AliP]

How many have gone through the struggles or internal weakness of coming out as transgender to family? I'm afraid to tell my kids im afraid to lose them. My wife i know i will lose as she is completely religious and is outwardly expressive against my feminine side. I'm afraid my kids will follow their mom. It causes an internal struggle because at this juncture in my life am i being selfish? I just wanted to finally be me and not secretly living it. 
Support group.. advice..strength needed

Luv,
Ali

I know exactly what you mean. I think most if not all of us have gone through those struggles one way or another. If you want a detailed answer, send me a pm and we can discuss it. I would need to know a bit more information though and some of the answer may not be easy for you to hear, but you should hear it.

That is what I am fretting most. I know the day has to come, I can't be fully free until I do so. I know that. I need to find a way to make peace with it. My therapist should help me sort through the mess. Hopefully... all in due time.. but this second half of my life is much shorter. So I want to be a little selfish and live it in a manner that I'm happy.. you know the saying, happy wife happy life.. I've tried to make everyone happy all the time and I'm miserable all the time. It's time to change that perception and be happy. Life is short and time on earth is shorter therefore make the best of it. That's the saying anyway right? Thanks for response.. 

Ali

It sounds like you find it difficult to communicate well with others especially those closest to you. It causes you to be walking on eggshells. Read the book by the same name and read Boundaries. That alone could save you some therapy sessions. You clearly have other issues not gender related, but your gender issues do overlap so, be sure to let your therapist know. Communication is key in marriage and failure to communicate leads to one or both partners being miserable, frustrated and or angry at the other. Does any of that sound familiar to you? Failure to communicate will eventually lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship irregardless of any gender issues. Your marriage is on fire. Carefully seek counseling. Coming out to your wife and kids will not help put the fire out, but will add a special kind of devastating fire to it. You can come out to your family and end up with a better and stronger relationship, but first you must put out that fire. I can give you a little bit more, but it must be done by private message as I would have to ask things that might not be appropriate for an open forum.

Well, our marriage has lasted 17 years and our communications has been exceptional for the exception of this particular issue. I've worked so hard over the last 30 years suppressing my true self and trying to be everything everyone else thinks I should be. My wife has taken a new journey of her own and has become very religious and speaks out about this very topic. She has told me she doesn't like the feminine sides of me I am displaying and she wants her big burly man back. But I'm not him anymore. I know she and I are best friends and if I do come out she will just want me happy but she wouldn't stick around. Either way I can't hide anymore behind a tired 30 year shell.. I'm breaking free of my own shell..finally.. feel free to PM me next time you're on.

Ali

[The First Aria]

Ali, first off, give her some credit.  I felt the same about my wife...  She's NOT jumping up and down with joy, but trying to cope with it.  She is probably having more trouble doing so than I do..

[AliP]

Ali, first off, give her some credit.  I felt the same about my wife...  She's NOT jumping up and down with joy, but trying to cope with it.  She is probably having more trouble doing so than I do..

Aria, as always thank you for your input and wisdom. I do give her a lot of credit, the last thing I want to do is cause discredit to the woman who's put up with me all these years whom I do love. When she said she wanted her big burly man back I asked her, what if he never comes back? Her response was, well I didn't sign up to be your lesbian partner so I would have to seriously rethink our marriage situation. I think that was her way of saying its not something she's going to take in to consideration. However, on the positive side, that could be her just lashing out from the situation.

Ali