[Nightshade]

I won't go into a long essay about my life, but the short answer is that I'm almost 40, have had Lyme disease for 22 years and live with my parents because I'm too sick to work or even leave the house at this point. They also are against me transitioning and they're the only way I can get access to prescription hormones so I'm trying this stuff instead.

I'm not saying the above for sympathy, but merely to explain my situation. 7-8 years ago I had given up on transitioning due to my health and lack of support from my parents, but after recently reading that hormones have mood-altering benefits and that I could take them without having to social transition (I don't pass and I'm too sick to leave the house anyways so social transition is a non-issue for several reasons).

I still would like the body altering effects, but it's not the main reason I'm trying HRT. So far I haven't felt any better. Spearmint tea seemed to make me feel more depressed, but it seems that Chinese Skullcap (which happens to be one of the main herbs in a Lyme protocol) can block androgens. I've also been taking Bovine Ovaries, Life Flo Estriol/Etradiol cream, Life flo progesterone/DHEA/pregnenolone cream, and White Peony.

The supplement that I'm taking which has Chinese Skullcap, Zyflamend Nighttime, also has Hops which can also help NBE, but I'm not sure if it's in high enough quantity. Swanson has a hops supplement with that compound isolated so I might take it instead: https://www.swansonvitamins.com/swanson-...0-veg-caps

I am concerned that many of the foods I'm eating and supplements/herbs I'm taking are preventing the good stuff from taking effect. However, health is also a top priority so I'm not sure how many changes to my diet and supplements I'm willing to do, but I am wondering if there's a list of things to avoid. Some things seem to be theoretical in terms of how they work so I'm not sure what to think.

Another main herb in the Lyme protocol is Polygonum Cuspidatum/Japanese Knotweed has Resveratrol which can be bad for NBE, but it seems very important so I don't want to drop it. Other things in my diet have various phytoestrogens which can block estrogen if they're weak (I guess some of the ones in Pueraria Mirifica are strong enough to boost estrogen).

[Nightshade]

Ok. I have some potentially good news. My parents finally came around and allowed me to go on HRT. I'm still very anxious about if/when I can actually see a doctor. My next therapy appointment is almost 2 weeks away and even if he approves me I'm not sure how long I'll have to wait.

Before this development, my plan was to just space out when I took my supplements. So I would take the aromatase inhibitors and (bad) phytoestrogens in the morning (I generally don't get up until noon, but whatevs...) along with DIM to clear out the bad phytoestrogens. I'd take White Peony and other aromatase before bed. And then I'd take the estrogen boosting supps, spearmint, and Chinese Skullcap throughout the day.

Now I'm not really sure what to do with the supps. I have no idea if they really did much. I didn't want to stop the progress (if any), but for now I'm stopping partially just for the cost. It's only been a month or two. The first month was mostly just the estriol/estradiol cream.

The other thing is whether the doctor will be at all flexible with the meds and dosage. Ideally, I'd like to try taking just prescription Estradiol and then balancing androgens through supplements, but I think I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and get a prescription for whatever they think is best (unless it's clear they don't know what they're doing/trying to sabotage my gains).

Also, I found out the Holy Basil in the Zyflamend PM could possibly be bad for NBE so I'll be discontinuing it after I run out. I ordered a spearmint extract standardized for rosmarinic acid because it's recommend for certain types of inflammation, but then I found out that rosmarinic acid could raise T. That's strange because spearmint lowers T. Since it's standardized, I have no way of knowing if it has the constituents responsible for lowering T or not.

In other news, I started shaving my body hair. First time in at least 5-6 years. It feels really good. I don't know if I'll ever transition or at least while I'm still sort of young. I'm so jealous of the trans women who transition when they're young. When I was growing up there wasn't any trans visibility. Even in college I only found trans porn. "Transgender" and "transition" weren't even words people used. At least the trans porn made me not hate my genitals.

[Nightshade]

So I scheduled an appointment with a doctor, but I have to wait at least 2 months so I decided to go back on the herbs. I know it seems dumb, but I feel like I have to do something. I already have them so it's not like I'm spending money.

I'm kind of concerned about the side effects of Spiro and other blockers and I also found out lowering testosterone could increase inflammation and make it harder for my body to deal with infections so I'm hoping the doc will allow me to go on just Finasteride which will block DHT. I'm also taking Chinese Skullcap which blocks DHT.

Right now I'm taking Swanson's PM in the morning and then BO later in the day. When I run out of the BO I'll do a PM in the evening. I've also been taking 100 mg of DIM to help my body process the estrogens. I don't know if it's helping or hurting, but at least it's helping my body detox (at least I hope so). And I'm taking Genistein partially because it was BOGO, but also what Lotus posted: http://www.breastnexum.com/showthread.php?tid=17436&pid=144041#pid144041

Here's another example of how genistein acts an antiestrogen, (which in this case is a good one). But the point being, genistein is in so many phytoestrogens, SOY isoflavones, Fenugreek, PM etc. (crazy, huh?). Rolleyes
Genistein in the presence of 17beta-estradiol inhibits proliferation of ERbeta breast cancer cells.

A significant decrease in cell proliferation was seen in MDA-MB-231 cells at low concentrations of genistein in the presence of 17beta-estradiol, as compared to genistein alone. In T47D cells, which are known to have a predominance of ERalpha over ERbeta, genistein showed a biphasic cell proliferative response both in the presence and absence of 17beta-estradiol.

CONCLUSIONS:
Our results suggest that in cells with a predominance of ERalpha, genistein acts as an agonist to ERalpha, and in cells with ERbeta alone, genistein most likely acts as an antiestrogen. Our results also suggest that genistein could be useful as a chemotherapeutic agent in premenopausal women with breast cancer of the ERalpha-negative and ERbeta-positive type.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19556829

[Nightshade]

So I had an appointment with a doctor a few weeks ago. She asked a lot of questions and then the end of the appointment was taken up with her operating on a cyst on my back (I won't go into details ). I was really depressed afterwards since I now have to wait another 2 months for another appointment.

When I came back to have the wound on my back repacked I asked her about getting bloodwork since my therapist told me they usually do that before prescribing meds. She did get that done, but I wonder what would have happened if I didn't say anything. Would I have to have waited another 2 months!?

My therapist has also been out for various reasons so it's been 5-6 weeks since our last session. I'm not sure how much it was helping, but it's better than nothing. I can't really tell anyone if I'm feeling suicidal or they can hospitalize me and deny me HRT.

I've been thinking of maybe ordering some PM just because I don't know if I can make it another 2 months. I'm not sure it really did much for me physically or psychologically, but I don't know what to do. There's some new treatments for my chronic illness I'm trying, but I'm not overly optimistic.

[Nightshade]

I FINALLY got a prescription after 5+ months waiting. It's estradiol 0.1 mg 1/weekly. It seems I have to tape it on because it comes off in the shower. I didn't want to go on Spiro, but I was going to go on Finasteride instead. However, my doc wants me to go off some of the herbs I'm taking for Lyme before I start Fin so I'm not sure what to do.

I decided I'm going to take spearmint, but I haven't found that much information about people on this site taking it so I'd like to hear from others on alternatives if that's not what to take. I'm also taking Chinese Skullcap because it's in my Lyme protocol, but it also inhibits 5-alpha reductase. I guess there are some interactions with that and fin so I'd probably have to stop that herb at least or maybe just take them at separate times since CS only stays in your system for a couple of hours.

Another thing is pumpkin seeds which is supposed to block DHT, but I found out they are also phytoestrogens so I'm not sure if I should stop eating them. It's hard to find foods to eat because I'm doing a lot of restrictive diets for my health. I was going to stop eating flax seeds too because they could possibly block E2 as well. I started a thread asking about phytoestrogens, but if anyone knows whether they'll block the E2 please let me know. I know that PM has other phytoestrogens besides the one that works for NBE so maybe it won't matter.

[Huggy]

Hi Nightshade.

I have sent you a PM.

Huggy

[Nightshade]

I've been on transdermal once/week estradiol patch for about 3 months. I noticed my nipples getting sore with the first month or two and have had breast buds for at least the past few weeks (possibly longer). The only blocker I'm taking is finisteride. I've also been taking progesterone cream because I read that it can help with sleep.

I don't feel any better though. I don't even feel any different either. Not more emotional or female or anything like that. I'm actually more depressed because my parents won't let me practice voice (I'm almost 40 btw).

I'm still consuming foods and supplements that have phytoestrogens so it's good that I don't need to eliminate those. It's possible that if I was taking estradiol in oral form it might be more likely to interact, but I'm glad this doesn't seem to be an issue because it's one less thing to deal with.

I've thought about posting photos, but I'm pretty sure they're just man boobs at this point. I'd really like growth around my hips and butt because I doubt I'll ever be able to afford surgery. I don't know if I will ever even transition the way my life is going. This is all I have left. If I have to stop taking hormones I'll be in a really bad place.