[shaneny]

I always find myself jealous of what a woman is wearing when out at the bars or clubs, instead of being like she looks hot. The struggle is real, how many times I go and say I love those shoes, its bad.

[Pansy-Mae]

Lol

Blush 

Will pm you

You coming pansy ?

J

X

  a large part of me would love to, but I wouldn't come without my wife. Not sure if she would or wouldn't ( probably would, to be fair) but I know her health almost certainly wouldn't be able to tolerate it. Although Brum is only an hour away and we used to go up all the time, now she can't always cope with things  that she really wants to do that are only 20 mins away

[Pansy-Mae]

I always find myself jealous of what a woman is wearing when out at the bars or clubs, instead of being like she looks hot. The struggle is real, how many times I go and say I love those shoes, its bad.

I've had that problem all my life. None of the ladies in my life understood that when I said " Ooh she looks nice", I really meant that I want to be her and not, I want to screw her!

[julieTG]

Hi Pansy

Thoughts for your wife

X

When I look at a woman I have 3 thoughts

Want to bonk her
Then taste her
Then be her

In that order

X

Julie

[julieTG]

Hi spanky

The book is called 

The gendered self 

By 

Anne vital

X

Julie

[francesca]

ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO BE A WOMAN, GENETIC EVEN IF I KNOW THAT INSIDE ME I KNOW THAT I AM A WOMAN

[Drew]

I would, just getting pregnant would be a bummer. I wouldn't want to squeeze a person out of my vagina.

Oh yes the monthy cycle and all that blood I could do without.

[Cagedmuscle213]

Hey everyone. 

I think I'm right there with all of you guys. I haven't been to any formal counseling or seen any doctors or whatnot I've just done a lot of my own research and watching so-called experts on YouTube and what they talk about on the subject of transgenderism and what they look for in people they think are potential candidates etc. 

I think I am just as confused as anyone else honestly by no means do I believe I have dysmorphia about my body I don't hate it. I think I've actually come a very long way with my male body in terms of what I was able to do with it physically and the amount of muscle I have been able to put on my frame and whatnot. But I always come back to seeing women and it's not that I get aroused from seeing them or anything like that it's more along the lines of I wonder what it would be like to be her for a day or can I achieve and make my body more feminine like hers while keeping as much fit in tone muscle as I can. Which that would be a whole another problem with transitioning being on female hormones and possibly the smallest dose of male hormones just to keep the muscle that I have taken so many years of my life to achieve. But like I said there are days where I don't think about it at all maybe even weeks or months but I always end up coming back to thinking and wondering and wanting to experience life as a woman all aspects obviously not just the fun sexual part of it but all of it. And speaking of the sexual part when I'm  playing by myself I usually imagine myself as a woman and doing the things that a woman would do to herself versus what a typical male would do.

So therein lies the question who is to say what is exactly normal because I say all the time why can't I just be like every other normal guy that doesn't have these thoughts but I'm starting to believe that everything is normal and not normal all at the same time if that makes sense. I'm sure a good majority of the population all has these thoughts and feelings it was not just a select few of us that feel like we're outsiders or weird because we have these thoughts and feelings.

[Heaven's Night]

I went through a lot of this stuff you're talking about back when I was figuring myself out and questioning.. Or mostly for me it was about breaking my self denial more than anything else, deep down I knew already at the time when I started to look into how to feminize my body. It was not a game, not for fun, it was about becoming my real self all the way.

Btw, drop the "ism" from transgender because it is not an ideology, its about existing as yourself... If you're transgender, that's who you are, its not an ism. It really irks me when people keep on calling in that, some big names and people with media visibility do that too and its bad for us all. Any gender identity is what it is, none has to do with ideology at all. Sorry for nitpicking, but words do matter as they're often used to oppress.

To me a certain sign is questioning, there must be a reason that you're seriously wondering about this stuff. Majority may play with the idea "what if I was a woman for a day?" type of thing, but to seriously questiong what and who you are is telling in itself and to be taken seriously. Self search is always worth the effort in life anyway as what are we here for if not grow up and evolve as humans. And normalcy, is being transgernder woman abnormal? Minority are, but I think its very much normal and natural part of human condition as why would we exist otherwise?  

I dunno if I'm biased to talk about this or an oddball in a flock of strange birds because I'm more than likely also intersex because my body is strange, to me questioning and figuring things out and finally acting upon it came quite naturally and it was a very long process which started already when I was little kid... But reading your posts I see a lot of myself in it, including body building background and such, I did that too and for me it was largely a failed attemp at male compensation. I also absolutely loved the exercise but the lifestyle itself was too high maintenance and then my haleath started to fail, I likely closely avoided completely destroying my wrists/carpal tunnels and so on, I'm rambling, I've talked about this a lot in my thread if you're interested in digging into it.

I think questioning is healthy, there must be a reason why you keep asking this stuff. In the end no one else can answer your questions but yourself. Go back to your past, your memories, when did this start, has it been consistently growing in your mind for years or came up just recently? How does the idea of transition make you feel? Scared? Excited? Consider what are the pros and cons if you do it, that's a big one to think of, you don't want to regret your decisions, but more than likely regret of not figuring yourself out would be worse. What ever it ends up being, questioning is the right thing to do as this stuff is clearly bothering you.

[Stevenator_]

So therein lies the question who is to say what is exactly normal?

Wait until you start taking PM/E2 lmao. Then you'll really start to crave it more & more, and question yourself even more lol.

For the record, I was on NBE/PM for 4.5 years and I've been on HRT/E2 for 3+ years, and I'm still not interested in transitioning, (no matter what ANYONE says). I'm still quite happy where I am, stuck in the middle. I absolutely love this new body, but my brain, though slightly feminized, is still firmly male. I still work on cars, I still run a tractor and I still kill coyotes. I also still can obtain erections, though admittedly not like I used to, and Viagra works wonders.

BTW FWIW, I miss Pansy-Mae.