[Katie]

a Thought / revelation occured to me the other day with regards to the trans* dlilema/confusion of seeing an attractive girl, and the do i want to Do her? or Be her? thing.

and I discovered that for Myself (being Bi  AND trans*) and having also experienced this Do or Be thing, there  IS actually a difference!!!
(for me at least).

i want to be female bodied, many MTFs do, BUT the girls I like and am attrracted to are Not the sort of girl body type i want for rmyself!
I`d never made the distiction before, but i like Girls that are Tall and and bigger than me, i`m perfectly happy being my 5`6 and wouldn`t want to be bigger or taller and having my 12 year old daughter able to beat me in an arm wrestle is fine. Even though that`s what  I`m attracted to, girls that are small and pretty and girly don`t really do it for me,  that`s the sort of girl I Am (inside anyway LOL).
Oddly i`m similar with guys too, they have to be taller than me and not thin and weedy, i don`t care for "pretty boys".

maybe there are Others on here that made that distinction yet and this will help them sort out where their feelings are too, is the sort of girl you want to Be the same sort of girl you`re Atracted to sexually?

[julieTG]

Got too chime in here

All girls I am attracted too as long as sweet

My first thought is

Ooh 

Giver her one
Then taste her
Then be her


All a bit weird
X

Julie 

And not a chance in hell would a girl beat me in arm wrestling 

I beat 30 stone body builders

[Happyme]

for me they are both the same person. How ever..
If I see an attractive woman that catches me eye sexually, I start to strip her down to her basics, and at that point I switch to.. 'Thats what I want to look like!'
And the story is over at that point.
I always thought that the reason I cross dressed, was to have the girl I could never find. So I had to make me her.
The first time I met a woman that was my height, and build I thought I had gone to heaven! All CD stuff went far away and I was in love.
The second time it happened, she was so much like me I used to say she was Bob in a skirt. Well it turned out that Bob started wearing the skirts, I married her, the girl came right out and here I am today.
Funny how things work out
Bobbi

[Pansy-Mae]

is the sort of girl you want to Be the same sort of girl you`re Atracted to sexually?

Simply put: Yes, Absolutely!
About 3 or 4 years ago I realiised the answer to something that had puzzled me for a long time, and that allowed various other random unexplained things to drop into place.
Throughout my life there have been periods of time, some only a few months and some upto 4 or 5 years when the need to x-dress disappeared completely and then it would suddenly come back with a bang. At first I thought it was somehow associated with emotional trauma in my life, but that never quite seemed to fit. But then a few years ago it dawned on me that it was actually to do with the lady in my life at the time.
I could go into detail ( and I will if any one wants), but this would turn into a book, so suffice it to say that when the lady in my life would wear the sort of clothes, make up, etc, that I like, then my need to dress vanished. When we parted or the relationship changed, then my internal female erupted like a volcano.
One small illustration - back in my early 30's my first wife tolerated ( but no more than that) me dressing to some extent. One evening I went upstairs and dressed and came down again. I thought I looked good, but she said, "I just wish you woudn't look so tarty." Without thinking, as quick as a flash, my mouth answered, "If you did I wouldn't have to!". I had no idea where that came from,  it wasn't a thought I had ever had before and I puzzled over it for the next 30 years. Only when I realised that I could control my own dressing need by being able to dress somebody else, did that outburst make sense.

[Katie]

Wow! quite a variety here then,  I think that`s wonderful!  
Of course it doesn`t help me at all, as it`s totally blown the seeds of a hypothesis completely out the water LOL.

I wondered if our sexual attraction could be used to differentiate between the Be/Do idea, it would seem not not, at least not in All cases.

I can`t relate to living vicariously through another, although I have heard it mentioned a few times in other places as well, enough to know it`s perfectly normal, and actually quite common and not just with Trans stuff (why do we go to the Movies?).

In a relationship I have a strong need to feel Protected, My wife is a 2`nd Dan black belt and used to teach it, she does all the heavy lifting even taking lids off jars for me (bless her), basicaly She`s my hero! whether it`s a guy or gal, this need is the same, and though i have tried it the other way around in previous relationships, it`s just a dynamic I can`t live with.
Unless it involved my kids, then I`ll take anyone appart or die trying!

Bobbi: you said "If I see an attractive woman that catches me eye sexually, I start to strip her down to her basics, and at that point I switch to.. 'Thats what I want to look like!'"
I can relate to this in a Generic way, I`ll lok at eye makup, hair, nails, clothes, all sorts of things like that and wonder if I could rock that same look (I think all women do this too), but i would do the same if she were 5`6 petite thing or a 6`5 foot Amazon. that`s as far as the parallel goes for me, I`d be all starry eyed on tongue tied with the Amazon babe, and be all like "Cute, were`d you get your nails done hun?" with the 5`6 gal. LOL


oh well... back to the drawing board!   LOL

[Shirazmn]

You seem to be a family oriented person, so it's natural that you are seeking balance. You may have a cultural imprint similar to mine.
Explanation: depending of where we position ourselves, man or woman, we look for the missing social component in the counterpart. If the role that we want to fill in covers the missing bit, then we have a "DO", otherwise a "BE" or nothing.

Explanation by example: in my crossdressing years I have tried going with a guy a few times, always the same guy. I immediately realised that his being "bigger and taller" than me was a crucial part of the attraction I was feeling. I wasn't in love or anything, but since in that moment I was "the girl", and since my cultural background told me that women are the submissive side of a couple, then he HAD to be bigger or I would never "DO" him. This never happened with girls, where, since I am "the man" and culturally "I have to be dominant", I like smaller girls. I had stories with bigger girls but it didn't work for me as I was confused between being dom or sub. And this is also why I never had a thing for other CDs, that tend to be "men sized" and confuse my hormones.

So, when I see a small girl I see a "DO"
When I see a big girl is neither "DO" or "BE"
When I see a small guy I see neither "DO" or "BE"
And, if I am in the mood, when I see a big guy I see a "DO"

This is all true taking into consideration the Italian upbringing I can't leave behind as much as I try (and of which my wife is quite happy of). Different upbringings may create different mindsets.

[Katie]

You seem to be a family oriented person, so it's natural that you are seeking balance. You may have a cultural imprint similar to mine.
Explanation: depending of where we position ourselves, man or woman, we look for the missing social component in the counterpart. If the role that we want to fill in covers the missing bit, then we have a "DO", otherwise a "BE" or nothing.

Explanation by example: in my crossdressing years I have tried going with a guy a few times, always the same guy. I immediately realised that his being "bigger and taller" than me was a crucial part of the attraction I was feeling. I wasn't in love or anything, but since in that moment I was "the girl", and since my cultural background told me that women are the submissive side of a couple, then he HAD to be bigger or I would never "DO" him. This never happened with girls, where, since I am "the man" and culturally "I have to be dominant", I like smaller girls. I had stories with bigger girls but it didn't work for me as I was confused between being dom or sub. And this is also why I never had a thing for other CDs, that tend to be "men sized" and confuse my hormones.

So, when I see a small girl I see a "DO"
When I see a big girl is neither "DO" or "BE"
When I see a small guy I see neither "DO" or "BE"
And, if I am in the mood, when I see a big guy I see a "DO"

This is all true taking into consideration the Italian upbringing I can't leave behind as much as I try (and of which my wife is quite happy of). Different upbringings may create different mindsets.

That makes Sense!  

so to use your List but from My perspective:

So, when I see a small girl I see a "BE"
When I see a big girl is "DO" (or be DONE BY)
When I see a small guy I see neither "DO" or "BE"
when I see a big guy I see a "DO" (or be DONE BY again)

and that`s because I seek a counter ballance for my self that will assist in raising a family. have I understood you correctly?

[Shirazmn]

Correct or not, it depends on you.

It means that you place yourself in a relaxed/submissive role in society. You may have, or have had, strong figures around you, both male and female, that you could rely upon. Therefore you are attracted to them as they complete your (need?) to be more submissive/relaxed.

Then again that is you seen from my point of view, that is biased by my own upbringing.