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From a remark made by aria many moons ago
I have been wondering whether complete stealth is safe health wise
This all in the head business and bottling it up could be lethal in some cases and detrimental in many
I am in the process of telling two close friends this week or even tomorrow I am trans
Trans what , no idea but sure as hell I am trans, I, will state I think I am
either
B-gender, gender fluid, ts in denial, but certainly TRANSGENDERED,
Not proud of it, but importantly now, neither am I ashamed, HUGE step forward,
Already I can feel, lighter, more out of shackles, so there is immense cathartic value there
Going to back to aria, how much of her heart problems could have been attributed to a 20/30 year bottle up ?
Whichever way I look at it, fighting a Balance for the next 20 years in complete stealth is not going to happen, someone has to know,
Julie's wings are flapping, but she is still firmly rooted on the male branch, hopefully
But expression now needs to happen
That has already happened this week with wearing female shirts at work, discreet of course,
That is soothing and cathartic but as dear Kate says, the punch only lasts so long,
Forms of expression, ummm
We are thinking , Julie going to a hotel and being full Julie on her own so we both can see what she looks like
(wife not Katie x)
Tg nights out with the Two close friends so Julie can be in a safe environment, mind you Julie's a tough bitch if anything happened,
But you know what I mean
It would be amazing if Julie could enjoy a meal out, even in a close friend environment at home
I monitor my blood pressure very closely and always been good, which is surprising . but its more queting the peaks and troughs or intensity, ie mental heath stress and we all know stress is a serious killer,
Any thoughts on all this ?
Julie
x
anticipating half of Dorothy Perkins to arrive Monday, eeek
Her dream would be a weekend away full with the wife , but she has to pass first, and cannot quite see that happining
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(13-01-2018, 11:47 AM)julieTG Wrote: From a remark made by aria many moons ago
I have been wondering whether complete stealth is safe health wise
This all in the head business and bottling it up could be lethal in some cases and detrimental in many
I am in the process of telling two close friends this week or even tomorrow I am trans
Trans what , no idea but sure as hell I am trans, I, will state I think I am
either
B-gender, gender fluid, ts in denial, but certainly TRANSGENDERED,
Not proud of it, but importantly now, neither am I ashamed, HUGE step forward,
Already I can feel, lighter, more out of shackles, so there is immense cathartic value there
Going to back to aria, how much of her heart problems could have been attributed to a 20/30 year bottle up ?
Whichever way I look at it, fighting a Balance for the next 20 years in complete stealth is not going to happen, someone has to know,
Julie's wings are flapping, but she is still firmly rooted on the male branch, hopefully
But expression now needs to happen
That has already happened this week with wearing female shirts at work, discreet of course,
That is soothing and cathartic but as dear Kate says, the punch only lasts so long,
Forms of expression, ummm
We are thinking , Julie going to a hotel and being full Julie on her own so we both can see what she looks like
(wife not Katie x)
Tg nights out with the Two close friends so Julie can be in a safe environment, mind you Julie's a tough bitch if anything happened,
But you know what I mean
It would be amazing if Julie could enjoy a meal out, even in a close friend environment at home
I monitor my blood pressure very closely and always been good, which is surprising . but its more queting the peaks and troughs or intensity, ie mental heath stress and we all know stress is a serious killer,
Any thoughts on all this ?
Julie
x
anticipating half of Dorothy Perkins to arrive Monday, eeek
Her dream would be a weekend away full with the wife , but she has to pass first, and cannot quite see that happining
Hi Julie,
I think you have to do what is right to your own circumstances, for me thats doing things in my own time when I feel ready. I have way fewer qualms about telling people now than I did even a few months ago, I came straight out to the skin consultant for my laser last week (although I guess not many men want their facial hair lasered off!) but yes the guilt about being and feeling this way is very much gone. I still worry about how people will react but I dont care to much about it, it just feels soooo good right now. If I had known how right it feels I would have done it years ago - but better late than never!
I dont think there are any health issues from remaining in stealth, its way unhealthier to try and deny things than to accept them and take steps to address things. For me the fact I am doing something to address how I have felt for ages is the main thing and how I feel is waaay more important than how I look. It would have been far worse to have not done anything healthwise - l am way healthier than I have been for about 20 years in terms of diet, drinking and exercise.
For me it sounds like you need to have your release every so often, but the problem then is that you might realise you just want more! Its a difficult thing to balance but I wouldnt worry about how you might feel in a few years time just enjoy the present!
Megan
Posts: 3,089
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Joined: Jun 2011
Interesting read today in a book called
Hung in the middle
The author
Alana had massive night sweats and almost suicidal level cluster headaches until she came out
She came out
They vanished
X
Julie
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Joined: Sep 2012
Julie..... You either mistook what I said or maybe I should of been plainer about my thoughts....
To me "Going Stealth" is stepping out En Femme. Even though it's getting tougher for the boobs and the wider rear to be hidden, I can still feel confident that the time has not yet arrived that I cannot be a man when my mood or situation dictates so.
What I was referring to, was being able to step out as a woman, not subtle clothing like I do now, but a nice cress, blouse or skirt , hose and heels if appropriate for the place or situation... And not being concerned about " outing myself" unless I wish to come out to the world.... ( including friends and family.
Once I get to the point of physical or mental point of no return, then I will have to be concerned. But right now, I am quite happy being of Two Spirit and "hanging" with both the male world and female world. I just wished I had a more feminine voice so that I would not put myself in either perceived danger or actual danger.
The way I look at it is that I am right now in a " Tom Boy " stage. That I am a girl, but loves dressing as I see fit..... Or more concisely, a boy who like to be a sissy at times.
I figure if / when I get tired of my double life I will choose the better path, but right now I am pretty comfortable where I am at. Other than not being comfortable in public as total, no doubt about it, female.
XO
Aria
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Joined: Jun 2011
Hi
Aria
In a previous post you said your therapist mentioned or you that not discussing gender feelings may have been possible contributing to your heart problems
That is the reference
Julie
X
Posts: 3,187
Threads: 64
Joined: Sep 2012
(14-01-2018, 11:52 PM)julieTG Wrote: Hi
Aria
In a previous post you said your therapist mentioned or you that not discussing gender feelings may have been possible contributing to your heart problems
That is the reference
Julie
X
Ah, in that context, you're right... And I guess to some degree I would agree with that. I was in denial for sure.
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Joined: Dec 2015
(14-01-2018, 09:28 PM)julieTG Wrote: Interesting read today in a book called
Hung in the middle
The author
Alana had massive night sweats and almost suicidal level cluster headaches until she came out
She came out
They vanished
X
Julie
I can totally relate to this! when I came out and started HRT, all sorts of serious issues that before were somewhat idiopathic just vanished, even a 30 year daily drinking habit just stopped with no effort of my own, it simply just ended!
I agree with Aria, living Stealth refers to living as your "aquired" gender but nobody knows you were assigned something else, you live as a Cis person and never tell anyone you`re trans, i`m semi stealth as in there are many people in my life that have no idea I wasn`t born 100% female. xx
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Katie
and your damn damn lucky that you can be yourself so well
0 too shero in 12 months
x
your living the dream pretty well
x
Julie
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Joined: Dec 2015
(15-01-2018, 01:50 PM)julieTG Wrote: Katie
and your damn damn lucky that you can be yourself so well
0 too shero in 12 months
x
your living the dream pretty well
x
Julie
I must admit that I`m often quite astonished at how far I`v come in such a short space of time, once you commit and get out of your own way, the sky`s the limit it seems!
I think Luck did play a part too, it`s much easier to blend being my height and weight so i didn`t have to struggle losing 10`s of pounds on top of everything else.
it`s one hell of a ride though! (in a good way mostly) like a super fast rollercoaster, sometimes you just have to hang on tight and go with it, comfort zones are over rated anyway!
I don`t think I could make any claim on being a "Shero" LOL, but I can now finaly claim being ME, and yes, in many many ways it is like living a dream come true, and I`m so grateful that I`v finally found my peace and where I belong in the world as a woman, it`s nice to finaly feel like I belong and fit in. I guess at the end of the day, that`s all Any of us can really hope for. xx
