19-01-2018, 12:31 PM
I had a rather Odd experience yeasterday evening that Kinda surprised me!
I`d been watching a film with my wife and eating chocolate (as usual) and thought perhaps I should go wash my hands as they felt a bit sticky, so Off I go to the bathroom, and what seems like for the first time Ever I actually Saw myself, and though Holy Shit! I`m a freakin` Girl!!!
Sudden intake of breath and I just stood there looking in complete disbeleif! I started pulling faces and trying to do Man face and look mean and all sorts of maleish type faces I`d used over the years and I still just looked like a girl! in fact some of the faces I pulled just made me look Cute! no matter what I did I couldn`t shake her! there was a 100% Woman looking back at me and that Woman was ME.
I`d actually gone and bloody Done it! I was a girl! and I was stuck like this forever!
I thought OMG is ever "He" came back he`d be Royally F**ked!!! there`s no going back from this now! without realising it, somehow at some point over the last 25 months I`d become what I`d always wanted to be and never even realised it!
it`s one thing to know something on an intelectual level and be able to list all the reason why you now look feminine etc... like it`s some sort of to-do list you`re ticking off one by one, but it`s a Whole Other thing to actually Experience it and Feel it!
after what seemed like ages, I just smiled, gave myself a wink, blew myself a kiss and went off to watch the rest of my film, which didn`t really sink in because I was still too shocked, and I might just have to watch the rest of it again! LOL
I`v no idea where it came from, I`v been able to look in the mirror quite normally since I started to transition, unlike before when I`d avoid mirrors and cameras at all costs, but only Yesterday did it hit me.
Now I`m just left with this sort of warn glow and internal smile that feels really nice (and a little bit sexy if I`m honest LOL),.
What a Rush!
I`d been watching a film with my wife and eating chocolate (as usual) and thought perhaps I should go wash my hands as they felt a bit sticky, so Off I go to the bathroom, and what seems like for the first time Ever I actually Saw myself, and though Holy Shit! I`m a freakin` Girl!!!
Sudden intake of breath and I just stood there looking in complete disbeleif! I started pulling faces and trying to do Man face and look mean and all sorts of maleish type faces I`d used over the years and I still just looked like a girl! in fact some of the faces I pulled just made me look Cute! no matter what I did I couldn`t shake her! there was a 100% Woman looking back at me and that Woman was ME.
I`d actually gone and bloody Done it! I was a girl! and I was stuck like this forever!
I thought OMG is ever "He" came back he`d be Royally F**ked!!! there`s no going back from this now! without realising it, somehow at some point over the last 25 months I`d become what I`d always wanted to be and never even realised it!
it`s one thing to know something on an intelectual level and be able to list all the reason why you now look feminine etc... like it`s some sort of to-do list you`re ticking off one by one, but it`s a Whole Other thing to actually Experience it and Feel it!
after what seemed like ages, I just smiled, gave myself a wink, blew myself a kiss and went off to watch the rest of my film, which didn`t really sink in because I was still too shocked, and I might just have to watch the rest of it again! LOL
I`v no idea where it came from, I`v been able to look in the mirror quite normally since I started to transition, unlike before when I`d avoid mirrors and cameras at all costs, but only Yesterday did it hit me.
Now I`m just left with this sort of warn glow and internal smile that feels really nice (and a little bit sexy if I`m honest LOL),.
What a Rush!