(08-02-2018, 09:59 PM)julieTG Wrote: Your in the no problem Space all the gd anguish is over
X
Julie
Wow! I never meant to give that impression, i mean Yes, I don`t complain much and I try to maintain as positive an attitude and demeanor as possible because that`s my True nature, and Yes I sometime get accused of comming off as a bit of a Disney princess by those that know me in real life because of this, but my GD is not Over!
Why else would I be waiting for SRS? why do I cry if I allow myself to think about the fact I have to shave every morning? or the shame I feel about having been born with some boy bit each time I get dressed or wash? the anguish of knowing I could never nor will ever become pregnant and carry my own baby inside of me? etc...
But you see, the key part in that is the "if I allow mysef" part, and I refuse to let that stuff get me down after everything i`v fought hard for thus far, imma keep on fighting too!
so no, it`s not Over for me, but there are now little islands of peace that I can rest in once in a while. xx
This post was last modified: 09-02-2018, 11:00 AM by Katie.
Well bit more balanced today
Grumpy Julie is today quite contented Julie
So happy mood and without the DRIVEN sexual heat I have been experiencing since Christmas
So there seems quite a difference between
25mcg and 50mcg in balancing terms
x
Julie
I hear Katie , going oh thank fuck for that
Grumpy Julie is today quite contented Julie
So happy mood and without the DRIVEN sexual heat I have been experiencing since Christmas
So there seems quite a difference between
25mcg and 50mcg in balancing terms
x
Julie
I hear Katie , going oh thank fuck for that
well
how odd
ps Katie love your new avatar
hot girl
anyway
today I feel gender less,
very cool, calm, content, happy. no anxiety, no anger, which is seriously unusual for me,
asked myself
am I Man , nope
am I a woman . nope
just me
quite odd
x
Julie
think its these new patches
LOL
x
Julie
how odd
ps Katie love your new avatar
hot girl
anyway
today I feel gender less,
very cool, calm, content, happy. no anxiety, no anger, which is seriously unusual for me,
asked myself
am I Man , nope
am I a woman . nope
just me
quite odd
x
Julie
think its these new patches
LOL
x
Julie
new patches??
is it only Today you feel like this? and has it happened before? also how do you feel about it?
have you tried asking yourself if you Want to be a man or Woman during this state?
First thing in the morning when I first awaken I feel a bit like you describe, gender doesn`t really feature in any of my feelings then, but after, as soon as poured myself a coffee and start remembering what my name is and where I live and that the person i woke with is my wife, Then and only then do I feel female, and even quite Human too!
With all the crazy stuff that goes on within the Trans spectrum and regular definitions of things no longer applying, I think I`d just go with it, maybe see if you feel the same 2moro. it doesn`t sound like a bad thing though! xx
is it only Today you feel like this? and has it happened before? also how do you feel about it?
have you tried asking yourself if you Want to be a man or Woman during this state?
First thing in the morning when I first awaken I feel a bit like you describe, gender doesn`t really feature in any of my feelings then, but after, as soon as poured myself a coffee and start remembering what my name is and where I live and that the person i woke with is my wife, Then and only then do I feel female, and even quite Human too!
With all the crazy stuff that goes on within the Trans spectrum and regular definitions of things no longer applying, I think I`d just go with it, maybe see if you feel the same 2moro. it doesn`t sound like a bad thing though! xx
This post was last modified: 26-02-2018, 07:29 PM by Katie.
Bang and here we go again
The switch and speed is amazing
After about 3 weeks of feeling pretty normal male ie to the ratio of
97/3 male to female
Then driving along today I almost physically felt the switch over
I got a little turned on and then bang went straight to
80/20 female to male ratio
I simply had to go and slip a larger 100 patch on to hopefully calm me down next few days as ran out of 50 patches
I feel a very naughty girl
X
Julie
The switch and speed is amazing
After about 3 weeks of feeling pretty normal male ie to the ratio of
97/3 male to female
Then driving along today I almost physically felt the switch over
I got a little turned on and then bang went straight to
80/20 female to male ratio
I simply had to go and slip a larger 100 patch on to hopefully calm me down next few days as ran out of 50 patches
I feel a very naughty girl
X
Julie
Its strange how feelings come and go, like a tide that ebbs and flows.
One day I can look in the mirror and think, its ok..I can be a male, maybe I do not need to dress up and go out. Other days I not only want to go out, but I NEED people to see me as how I feel inside.
One day I look at my chest and think WTF am I doing, other days I look at my Junk and think.. You have to go.
I see Jannet more and more in the mirror, my chest really is not much bigger than somebody with large manboobs, but my ass and legs look more female and my face is really changing.
One day I can look in the mirror and think, its ok..I can be a male, maybe I do not need to dress up and go out. Other days I not only want to go out, but I NEED people to see me as how I feel inside.
One day I look at my chest and think WTF am I doing, other days I look at my Junk and think.. You have to go.
I see Jannet more and more in the mirror, my chest really is not much bigger than somebody with large manboobs, but my ass and legs look more female and my face is really changing.
to be honest, with some of you, i`m beginning to wonder if all this switching is actually hormone related at all? and maybe it`s something else entirely and all the HRT does it modulate it.
except for the first couple of weeks when it was fear based, i never had any of this switching or WTF moments as such, though I`v had plenty of "Why me, why am i trans, what did i ever do..." etc.. but never the doubts I was doing the wrong thing? I find it almost incoceivable.
it`s got me realy really curious as to what causes it!??????
have you tried keeping a diary perhaps? i think i`d try that and see if there was a pattern to it, maybe something you ate, or stress levels, or something that was said or felt prior etc...
except for the first couple of weeks when it was fear based, i never had any of this switching or WTF moments as such, though I`v had plenty of "Why me, why am i trans, what did i ever do..." etc.. but never the doubts I was doing the wrong thing? I find it almost incoceivable.
it`s got me realy really curious as to what causes it!??????
have you tried keeping a diary perhaps? i think i`d try that and see if there was a pattern to it, maybe something you ate, or stress levels, or something that was said or felt prior etc...
(19-03-2018, 12:47 AM)Katie Wrote: to be honest, with some of you, i`m beginning to wonder if all this switching is actually hormone related at all? and maybe it`s something else entirely and all the HRT does it modulate it.
For many years I had no idea what caused any of it. Then after a quite a few on/off periods I came to the conclusion that emotional stress played a huge part. Then again after more time I came to realise that if my female partner dressed the way I wanted her too, my own dressing needs disappeared. Now, recently, I'm tending more towards the emotions theory again. However with all of that there is a chicken and egg/cause & effect element, that I can't disentangle. HOWEVER, hormones/phytohormones do definitely have an effect as well.
(advertisement)