[Lotus]

It often saddens me that some people go so far as to alter their body chemistry or even get surgery before realizing they are not transsexual. I seems to me that self awareness needs to come first. An actual transsexual person totally desires to transition and any other choice feels repulsive to them. You, Julia, have clearly realized that this does not describe you.

Over the years I've noticed an odd narrow mindedness among many people on these forums about transgenderism. Gender is not a black and white thing, folks. There are a lot of different gender alternatives than full transgenderism. There is no off the rack way to do this stuff. Each of us must custom design our own course.

Am a little confused by your two statements which appear to contradict with each other....

Agreed Megan. Julie is quite aware of her transgenderism (see S.A.G.E. results below) given the amount of time she's spent on her self discovery here at BN... therefore in Julie's case, it seems impossible to speculate narrow- mindedness. In otherwords, Julie's transgenderism journey is unique..so be happy (not sad) for her and celebrate that folks take the time to document this process (albeit straight male seeking breast growth or someone on hrt) and are willing to share their journey...with us.

L.

Oh ?
Julie




S.A.G.E. Test Results
Your Raw Score is: -445, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Quite Masculine

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Female person.

You appear to socialize in a androgynous manner.

You believe you have normal doubts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Male.

ANALYSIS:
Male to Female Transsexual in doubt about your ability to successfully transition.
NOTES:

Your answers indicate you have altered your physical appearance to look like the opposite sex.
Your answers indicate you may be AUTOGYNEPHILIC. Your answers indicate you may fit the following type(s):
Physiologic: arousal from the idea of having opposite sex physiology. This does not necessarily mean you WANT the physiology of the opposite sex, you just find the IDEA of it exciting.
[ CLOSE WINDOW ]

[Nipply Russel]

Reading Julie's S.A.G.E results, those could easily be mine, although I haven't taken the test. I first saw trans porn around 30 years ago and I was immediately and completely drawn to it. I found that I didn't want to be with the trans person, I wanted to BE them. The idea of having breasts was overwhelming and never went away. I feel lucky to have found this group. In particular, I would hate to think that the group doesn't consider a somewhat masculine, CIS male's interest in having breasts/feminine features worthy of inclusion into the group.

But the struggle with not wanting to change gender, while still wanting female features, is a real one. I'm starting to grow breasts and I often wonder what the hell I'm doing (see my progress thread for ongoing thoughts on the whole thing). Clearly, there are many shades here. I thought it was supposed to be all or nothing, but I was wrong. As it turns out, we all fit in here.

And yeah, I'm too lazy to be a woman, for sure! Too much work. And as a feminist, I'm grateful that I wasn't born a woman in a man's world. But if I could transform into a complete, passable, beautiful woman at will, I'd definitely do it on weekends!

[Pansy-Mae]

FWIW, seeing Julie's SAGE results prompted me to have another go at mine. I'm pretty sure I did the test at about the same time as Julie, a few years ago, but I can't find my results from back then.:


S.A.G.E. Test Results
Your Raw Score is: 620, which indicates that overall you are Feminine
Your appearance is Masculine
Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.
You appear to socialize in a androgynous manner.
You believe you have serious conflicts about your gender identity.
You indicated your were born Male.
ANALYSIS:
Male to Female possible Transsexual
NOTES:

• Your answers indicate you have altered your physical appearance to look like the opposite sex.
  
• Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.
  

Some of it slightly surprises me but in general I find it accurate.

[Wannabe]

I didn't mean to be personally critical of anyone and I realize everyone comes upon their own self realization in their own way. Hormone altering substances can have considerable dangers, though, and I wouldn't consider using any unless I felt there was not other alternative. I think the best way to begin an exploration of one's gender identity is through counseling with a good therapist-- and wait until later to modify one's hormones. But that's just my opinion.

I guess my use of the term "narrow minded" didn't come across as I meant it. What I meant is that there are a range of possible gender conditions and, I think, lifestyle options rather than to go through life as a stereotypical "man" or "woman". It's possible to have a very fulfilling life as a male with feminine inclinations without completely changing roles. There's more to life than simple duality.

[The First Aria]

i didn't mean to bring any negative waves towards julie . i was just saying i cant wait to try on any new clothes even if i tried them at the store first

I am just now getting to the point where I hold up clothes to myself to check arm length, where it may fall on my legs and to compare color compatibility with my own face or arms..   That's my next step is to ask to use the fitting rooms.  

[MeganJ]

This is a little off topic but didnt know about the Sage test so did it and er...... it couldnt be more accurate:

S.A.G.E. Test Results
Your Raw Score is: 495, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous
Your appearance is Androgynous
Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.
You appear to socialize in a feminine manner.
You believe you have major conflicts about your gender identity.
You indicated your were born Male.
ANALYSIS:
Male to Female Transsexual, either post-operative or in transition
NOTES:

• Your answers indicate you have altered your physical appearance to look like the opposite sex.
  

Yoinks........

Megan

[Happyme]

Hey Julie!
It looks like I'm sitting on the fence with you again! Its nice to have good company!

When I first came out to my wife, I was awash with feelings of living life as a woman, dressing all the time, shaving my legs, buying pretty/sexy clothes, and dreaming of having breasts in my bra, instead of forms, exploring makeup and hair styles. All the wonderful feelings that an adolescent girl feels only with more knowledge about what the world has in store.
I found Breast Nexus, and and all you lovely people. I learned about hormones, herbs, HRT, massage, and all the other good stuff, tried many combinations and grew a nice but still small pair of breasts. (and continue with a PM routine)

I was yearning to do a make over, and would plan ways to escape for a week to enjoy it. It never happened and once I was free to do it, the yearning faded.


I think part of the thrill was pushing the limits of what one can get away with without getting caught. ie underdressing, wearing a bra but with a bulky shirt, growing boobs, but having to wear a compression shirt to hide them, a little mascara, a little lipstick, and playing in the women's department.
Now I am retired and can pretty much wear what I want and I find, like Julie, its not necessary to spend lots of time on make up and dressing when being a guy is the easier way to do the day.

I pretty much enjoy being the male mechanic during the day and having the freedom to move about the world in safe comfort. I can pee where I want, and fart at will. No one notices and life is simple, not lazy just simple.
In the evening I fully enjoy a nice shower, makeup and bra, and a simple sun dress (in season), or a pretty nightgown.
I have a closet full of beautiful dresses, tops, skirts, etc. Its just easier to be without all the fluff.
I guess when I look at my wife, she rarely does any more than mascara and eyeliner, and she is all woman. Why should I have to primp??

So there is a clear difference in the mental make up of a lot of us here, some know they are destined for transition, others are happy being most of the way there, others are two spirits, and others just want tits. I dont think there is a clear and constant one path for us all, but we all get along and help each other out, and its great that this is a place we can express our feelings thoughts and worries. We will all get to where we are supposed to be in the end.

And my SAGE says I need both of my genders i  my life to be complete. Which is right on the money!
Bobbi

[julieTG]

and then there is

Transgender sexuality being suppressed then bounces out in the form of SISSY worship

see my other thread

LOL
x


Julie

[The First Aria]

Happy, my friend.  I agree with about 95% of what you said.......  BUT   LOL, bet you knew that was a comin' eh?   

I love the freedom that I never had before I was diagnosed being 2 spirit...  But, I KNOW i want to "fluff" up wear cosmetics, nice dress slacks or Tunic with leggings, as I did to my last therapy session!   So, really not at all that much different, huh?

My wife sometimes wears only lipstick if she puts any makeup on at all....  So, there ya go.

Aria

[Pansy-Mae]

I guess I can relate to, or at least understand and empathise with most of what everyone has said in this thread( Now how's  THAT for fence sitting Bobbi?!!), but most closely I relate to Aria's take.
I wear what I want and/or what is appropriate to the days activities. Most days I wear female attire around the house, be that trousers, leggings, skirt or dress, but when appropriate I wear male clothing, and sometimes I wear old 'work clothes' for gardening, DIY, etc. Some days I wear a touch of mascara and a 'nude' lipstick, some days I don't, for no real reason, just the way the mood takes me.
OTOH, if I had the opportunity to go out to an evening 'do', I would great pleasure in dolling myself up completely, as I used to do in my young and passable days, make up and bling to the max!