[SweetHeart]

I haven't logged on in a few days, been busy with 'real' life.

I do know that I have a few things working in my favor. For one, I am quite the loner, which, while depressing in of itself, will certainly help me get passed the inevitable period in my life where I will be seen as neither male nor female, and will thusly be shunned by the general public. This is inevitable, because of my financial state. I can't afford laser hair removal, let alone eloctrolysis.

I currently live on government support, and recieve 521 dollars (canadian) a month. 300 of that goes straight into my rent.

And Chrissiegirl, I know the studies they've done, they've proved, extensively, that the brain chemistry of a mtf individual is identical to that of a genetic woman.

And while I'm not dismissing the very real risks towards transgendered individuals in today's society, I have to say that if I got fired or discriminated against, I'd stand to gain more than I'd lose, I know a lot with friends with legal connections.

Again, I don't currently work, I have few friends, and my family knows, though likes to prefer they don't, about my ''affliction''.

A parting note, my Paypal has been activated, and I'm only waiting for the funds to transfer. Hopefully 40 bucks is enough to start with, because that's all I can spare this month.

[Chrissiegirl]

Hi Sarah,
I think being the loner is an inevitable part of being transexual; you simpy do not relate to the male pack, rather you loath it, and feel excluded from female company.
The good news is, that since coming out, the women, I know, have rallied around and really made me feel, one of them The whole interaction is totaly different, I think, becaise I am no longer a potential threat.
Yerterday, I spoke to a friend [male] and he said that he had seen he a few times recently and had thought that I looked, as if a burden had been lifted from me. That is how I feel.
I too, cannot afford electrolysis, but have, nevertheless, come out, as my boob growth, gave me no choice. Having to shave and make up tewice a day, on some days, is a tiny price to pay, for, in the first time in my life, being me.
Power to you sister,
Chrissie

[SweetHeart]

Well, I have tried in the past to shave my whole body, and on the few occasions where I didn't get bored and give up partway through (it's a LOT of area to cover) I was frustrated at how little I would get to enjoy the feeling of smooth skin. Cuz I love that feeling. Especially how smooth thighs feel against each other.

I'm starting to think becoming feminine isn't going to be as hard as losing the weight to fit in more. I have been taking a good long hard look at my life this past while, and I've come to a few conclusions.

First, I'm not just overweight, I'm bordering on obesity.

Second, the bigger danger is I'm entirely out of shape. Being more feminine isn't going to help me if I die of a heart attack in ten years.

Third, I'm at a further disadvantage because of my condition. I have arthritis in my spine, as well as a minor degenerative disc decay, that manifests as severe pain and stiffness in my left leg and hip.

So the upshot of this is I'm lazy, in pain, and (at times) gluttoness, and I'm only just now realizing that's why my tummy is so huge.

At least my goals are pretty clear!

[Chrissiegirl]

In the past I have tried shaving my legs and always ended up nicking myself. While the cut healed fine, I was always left with a dark scar that would take a couple of months to disappear. I do use an epitator, though it is very painfull on the knees.
I am sorry to hear about your atritic problems. About 20 years ago, I was in severe pain with athritis, in my knees and very aware that my grandfather had spent 27 years totaly bedridden, with the most appaling rheumatoid athritis. At the same time I was suffering, increasinly from gut and stomach problems and bouts of flu like symptoms. I turned out that I am coeliac and as soon as I cut out gluten, my ahtritis improved dramaticaly; on day 5 I was saying it was 85% better. It looks very much as if this was the reason for my gandather's problems, as well.
I think it is worth trying to see, if there is a dietry link, in your case, either by cutting out certain groups of food, for a 5 day stretch at a time, or by going on an elimination diet. The 2 main groups to look at, first, are milk and products, containig milk and wheat, rye and barley, which contain gluten.

[SweetHeart]

I am aware that my weight increases the pain, but it is not the cause. I have been in pain for 9 years now, and I only really started packing on the pounds recently. Through my whole childhood I was dramatically underweight. Well, that's what depression, combined with your metabolism finally slowing down will do to you.

I personally have never had an issue with nicking myself shaving. In fact, what I have done is rub a dry razor up AND down my legs, not shaving the hair off, but exfoliating it off. It works VERY well, at least for me, and once I got the rythm right, I never got cut. It also took slightly longer to grow back. The downside, of course, was the next day I'd have razer burn all over the place, and the hair still grew back in three days. My paypal should have my money in it by this afternoon, so I'll be placing the order for PM. Yay!

[Andy]

Hi Sarah.

Congratulations on taking the plunge. Beginning the transitioning to the person that you know you need to be can be difficult. Just remember that it takes time and don't allow yourself to become discouraged. Our self image can play such a heavy role in how well we take care of ourselves. I can kinda relate, I went through a period, not long ago, where I was severely unhappy with myself. Didn't do anything but eat, sleep, work, repeat. Like myself a little better now. So don't become distracted from your goals by a few obstacles. I know easier said than done, right.

I am sorry to hear of your medical difficulties. I was diagnosed with diabetes earlier this year and I still struggle with keeping my blood sugar level down. Dieting is such a pain. just about all of the foods I like to eat are no, no. I have trouble excersising. For some reason I keep having bouts of tendinitis really bad in my shoulders and arms. Plus a injury to my left knee and a old repaired injury to my right knee. Make it hard to get out and do anything physical for long. I will figure something out sooner or later and lose some weight. I am around 230 pounds but I am only something over 5 feet. So I believe I can loose the weight. I have done it before through dieting. So I believe you can too.

Good luck with your PM.
Good growing, Best wishes, Good journey.
Andy

[vmiku914]

I don't know if it matters, but I live in Canada, so if pueraria.uk doesn't ship to canada, I can't use it. Still waiting on confirmation of my Paypal, so I can't buy it yet anyway. I can't wait!

I've stopped using fenugreek until I can find a better way to prepare it. Preferably one that doesn't taste like a homeless man crapping in my mouth

Hello SweetHeart,

I live in western Canada an I am able to get PM here with no problem, except the wait is about 30 days.

[SweetHeart]

Hey everybody! I got my check today, so I will be able to put more money into getting PM soon, for now, I have 40 dollars on my Paypal account that I am going to use to order PM right now! I can't wait! I'm so happy!!!



I cant find any sites that ship a reasonable priced product to canada, so I have no choice but to order off of ebay. Let's hope i don't get screwed.

How much of the stuff should I be taking? As I said in the original post, I am 6'3", 235 lbs, and 22 years old. I also don't know what kind of androgen to purchase. I've made my purchase of PM, but I'm not sure if I'll need to buy more sooner than later.

[Pansy-Mae]

Hi sweetheart,
The normal PM dose for a biological female is 2 x 500mg capsules per day. For biological males, it is suggested to double that, and it is acceptable to go up to 6 capsules per day for short periods. Don't expect instant results, it can easily take up to 3 or 4 months before you notice anything, although you may be one of the lucky ones and see results within a few weeks, but even then it will be slow progress and may not actually be measurable for some time, even though you are aware of physical changes to shape or volume.

As for Anti-androgens ( NOT "Androgens"!), the one most commonly taken is Saw Palmetto. It is said that SP can cause a general weight gain, but that hasn't happened so far for me and I've been taking 8 x 450mg per day for about 3 months.

Oh, BTW, I also got my PM off e-bay and I wasn't disappointed with what I got, it's definitely working for me. Only yesterday my wife looked at me and said, "You'll have to wear a top over those when we go on holiday in two weeks time!"

Hope this helps.

Pansy Mae

[Chrissiegirl]

Hi Sarah,
All the best, all that matters is that your PM is 100% pure. Keep us all posted on how it goes. I have been living in a totaly femme role, now, for over 2 weeks and have never felt more contented, in my life, so I hope you can also get there.
I was interested in you saying you were very underweight, when younger. That is often a sign of gluten intolerance. Moving to a much heavier weight can happen, as your body adapts, to cope with what is happening to it and you continue the same pattern of eating. That happened to me around 11 to 15, yet at 23, I weighed only 133lbs, agood 20lbs, off my ideal weight.The trouble is that, if you are ceoliac, you are storing up problems, that will come back and bite you later and can even kill you.
I am not trying to make a diagnosis, but trying to make you aware of a possibility; it is the most underdiagnosed medical problem, there is.