[Katie Anne]

I’ve struggled with this question for a long time - finally admitted and accepted I’m trans, which actually made me feel a whole lot better. Am I going to transition ? Probably not, but you never know... However the”why am I doing this...”, “where am I going...” questions plague me constantly, together with the “what if...?” variants as well.

I can totally relate with you Kimi.  So at the age of 60 I have decided to take the first step forward in transitioning starting with NBE.  So far it is going well as I am fortunate to have a very receptive body chemistry.  I cannot predict how my story will end, but at least I am finally giving it a try.  

[dementedClown]

I’ve struggled with this question for a long time - finally admitted and accepted I’m trans, which actually made me feel a whole lot better. Am I going to transition ? Probably not, but you never know... However the”why am I doing this...”, “where am I going...” questions plague me constantly, together with the “what if...?” variants as well.

I can totally relate with you Kimi.  So at the age of 60 I have decided to take the first step forward in transitioning starting with NBE.  So far it is going well as I am fortunate to have a very receptive body chemistry.  I cannot predict how my story will end, but at least I am finally giving it a try.  

What is NBE?

[Katie Anne]

I’ve struggled with this question for a long time - finally admitted and accepted I’m trans, which actually made me feel a whole lot better. Am I going to transition ? Probably not, but you never know... However the”why am I doing this...”, “where am I going...” questions plague me constantly, together with the “what if...?” variants as well.

I can totally relate with you Kimi.  So at the age of 60 I have decided to take the first step forward in transitioning starting with NBE.  So far it is going well as I am fortunate to have a very receptive body chemistry.  I cannot predict how my story will end, but at least I am finally giving it a try.  

What is NBE?

Natural Breast Enhancement 

[Laura]

I read Megan's posting about being on BO for 10 months and then going to pharma.  On Friday, I will have been on BO (2000/mg) per day also for 10 months, and I have been wondering whether to go on estradiol.  I am 66 years old and I was not sure what I expected when I started taking BO.  I knew that I was testing the water and have learned that BO is very subtle how changes take place. Candidly, I thought that there was a little puffiness and sensitivity when I started, but that is really phantom feelings.  After 10 months, nodules have started to form in my breasts; my areola has become a little larger; and I only shave twice a week at most.  My clothes (shirts and pants) do not fit me very well.  My testicles have shrunk noticeably, and I really do not have many sexual urges.  I have discovered that bras were torture devices invented by men who have no conception how to use them, but even with my small breasts, they do provide needed support.

Most would say that my changes are amazing after 10 months.  However, the biggest changes have been to my mind.  This is not a pink fog.  I have come to realization that I have and have always been a woman.  It has taken awhile, but I can honestly say that I am trans.

Laura

[Rachel]

Always knew I was different  than the other boys.  Grew up in a very conservative area in the 70's. At the age of 6 or 7 tried to pull off my privates because I wanted to play with the girls and their dolls and hopscotch.  I am the youngest of 4 boys who are all very masculine and was picked on by them incessantly hence I became a very good street brawler and was the boy that would fight in a heartbeat to protect anyone from bullies so in that way I was very masculine.  First tried on womens clothing and walking around in moms high heels whenever i had the chance at the age of around 10. Being gay or even worse trans was not acceptable in my family or town where i grew up so i presented as an alpha male and had many girlfriends but was always jealous of their clothes, hair and makeup.  i am now 59 and am tipping my toe into transitioning and am at the same time very excited and very scared that any changes physically and coming out will cost me my family and few friends that i have

Enough of the lifes history  

Here goes 
Had i known about BO i would have started taking it at the age of 10 and hopefully would have never had male puberty
If i could flip a switch and become female and my family would accept me as such ....... in a heartbeat
If i could go back and never marry or have children and live as a trans woman ,,,,,, probably

Am I gay....  not really I am a bisexual woman with parts i have no desire to have and  also have missing parts inside and out

[Zhuzhu]

I want to be loved for me and not ever have to be ashamed of who I am

[Kay Lady]

I am definitely trans. I was born in the 1960's. I wanted to be a girl as a child. I had dreams at night that I was a girl. When I saw a Playboy magazine, I wanted to be those women. In the 1960's, you could not talk to anyone about feelings like this, so I buried the feelings. They would only surface from time to time, and in my nightly dreams. My childhood was rough, parents were very dysfunctional. I learned to live to their expectations of what they wanted me to be and I learned shame and unworthiness as a person. As I grew up, I crossdressed a few times. Then I would feel shame and guilt then throw away all clothes, wigs and makeup.

A few years ago, I started to try and heal my shame and past emotional wounds. I tried to find myself. Yes, I started to scratch through the programming of the past. And there I was, with my true feelings. I am not completely healed of my shame and wounds. It seems like a lifelong path. I am trying to honor my true identity. I have grown my hair long, pierced my ears, removed body hair and started taking NBE supplements. I am not all the way out. Only a few trusted people know. If I come out, and I hope that I do one day, there will be fallout. Lost friends, family and there is my career. I am hoping to retire and then come out. I know that I am not just a crossdresser. When I dress up, I never want to take the clothes, make up and jewelry off. 

I will tell others out there, that these feelings don't go away. Don't think that getting a girlfriend or a wife will cure this. Keep that in mind. The feelings of honoring your true identity are pure bliss. Nothing else like it. If you stuff it down, you most likely will feel depressed and anxious. You may become angry and lash out at others. If you feel shame about these type of feelings, you should at least read up on it. There are free articles on the internet and many books written about shame and guilt. You could also see a therapist just to talk and explore.

And I was not groomed to feel this way. I believe that I was born this way. Trans people are not grooming children. That is all pure B.S. The reason that there are more trans young people is that they don't have to hide their feelings.

[Cunningluvr]

I'm not even sure I know what transgender specifically means anymore. Does gender still have a meaning, or do we move along several spectrums of masculine/feminine traits?

I had a very strong father figure who could also be very tender, and a mother who reminded people of Glenda the Good Witch, but ran several businesses and could weld; I think I grew up not knowing typical gender stereotypes. Since I had external genitalia, they steered me in a male direction, but that's what they knew - at the same time they encouraged me to do female (from their perspective) things like cook, sew, use my artistic talents, pay attention to fashion, grooming, manners. LOL, my dad was cool with it as long as I could still throw a football 40 yards.

I'm feminizing my body but don't think I'd ever go for bottom surgery, despite caging my male genitals and hoping NBE shrinks them. Breast implants and FFS could happen tho.

I'm loving NBE, and after seeing NBE results don't think I'll do HRT - I really dislike the idea of becoming a permanent medical patient (based on the experience of a friend on HRT).

Over time I've lost sexual interest in women, but don't see myself being married to or in any form of commitment to a guy. I am sort of a loner. I loved Robinson Crusoe until Friday showed up.

I love putting together dressy outfits with 6" platform heels but wear leggings and a hoodie 90% of the time, and my makeup skills are horrendous other than foundation and lipstick just because I'm kind of a wash and go person. Sort of a girly tomboy.

I'm really into feminine lingerie, perfume, home decor, girly pop music...but I nerd out over trains and airplanes. I worry about breaking a nail when I'm using my ginormous chain saw to cut up firewood. I go to the shooting range at least once a month (girl gotta protect herself).

I could care less about pronouns, being misgendered, legal name changes and have no time for trans activism. I think it does more harm to me than good, and I don't really want to be labeled and packed in a box. I answer to both my male and female names, doesn't bother me. I DO NOT want special treatment as a trans woman, I want respectful treatment as a person. I particularly can't stand all the whining and butt hurt I read in MtF forums, so I quit reading them. I don't care what politicians do regarding transgenderism; I know if I really want something, I'll get it. Always have. 

So when someone asks me if I'm transgender I tell them I'm Erica.

[Cunningluvr]

I could care less about pronouns, being misgendered, legal name changes and have no time for trans activism. I think it does more harm to me than good, and I don't really want to be labeled and packed in a box. I answer to both my male and female names, doesn't bother me. I DO NOT want special treatment as a trans woman, I want respectful treatment as a person. I particularly can't stand all the whining and butt hurt I read in MtF forums, so I quit reading them. I don't care what politicians do regarding transgenderism; I know if I really want something, I'll get it. Always have. 

 
Well said!

Thank you. To a lot of folks, we are at odds to their culture. I grew up in a lot of different countries and learned that I had to make my way in their culture (or leave), not the other way around.

[francesca]

[moderator notice - unnecessary quoting removed]




hi, i'm ivana, i'm happy to be a transsexual woman