[kimi9r]

OK, so I’m wondering... as a TG who is not full-time, is mentally transitioning, but not lifestyle transitioned and with no real plans to
do so (at present), I find that when do get opportunities to go out dressed the whole thing gets too much, sensory overload, for want of
a better phrase. I’m working hard on the posture and walking and mannerisms side of things, but then you add bras and panties, makeup,
heels, etc. I just lose it.

I know it’s all about practise and more practise, and “exposure”, but for me it’s not always possible.

I know I don’t “pass”, in the traditional sense (not without some major nips ‘n tucks); and I’ve finally given up comparing myself with
the unrealistic expectation of being a gorgeous 25-yr old “you could be a model” sex toy TG. It took me a while, but, what a pointless
(and fairly depressing) waste of time and energy, it was. I now accept what I am, who I am, and have a plan, so to speak, about what
I can achieve.

I don’t want to be clunky, clumsy and feeling as though I stick out like a sore thumb – I want to have the confidence to enjoy being me,
with some wiggle and feminine grace – I want to be seen as a natural, full-time, self-aware, TG, not as believe I am
currently: a “cock in a frock” wannabee.

So, I’m taking steps to desensitise myself, so that some of these things feel natural/normal, and not sooo foreign when I do go out,
and I can then concentrate on the deportment side of things.

I’ve mentioned in another post that I’ve taken to wearing a bit of mascara and foundation on a daily basis, and I now, kind-a, feel
a bit naked without. For the past few weeks, I’ve been wearing a bra (even though I don’t need to) and panties, with my “junk tucked”,
every day – simply to get used to the feel of them, and it’s getting better.

But, I still feel exposed, self-conscious, and convinced that everyone can see the “tits ‘n bra”, and they’re all secretly laughing.
So, I ask you, from the shots below, in my normal office attire, is it obvious that I’m wearing a bra, bearing in mind that I’ve not
set out to deliberately hide them?

I’m hoping for a majority “no” response, as it means I have nothing to worry about – YET - and that it’s just my mind playing confidence
tricks - but happy either way.

And, other than practise, and simply getting out there and doing it, does anyone else have any tips they’ve tried or suggestions
that could maybe help me, or others, in the same situation?

[Stevenator.]

It took me a while to figure out exactly where I’m going with all this. I can’t pass, not will I ever try. I go as feminine as I can with shaved legs & growing boobs. I hope they get big, but I love what I’ve got. While I have to wear a bra now daily, I’m still a guy, always in guy mode. Though I only wear skirts around the house & property, I’ll never attempt to wear one in public, though I wish i could. Just be yourself. This is definitely a multi year effort. So, you’ve got time to figure all this out.

[kimi9r]

Absolutely agree, never expected it to be overnight, and as they say “practise makes perfect”

[michelleann99]

Kim,
makes perfect sense, I am doing just about the same for daily wear, and then full blown after work when I can.
enjoy the changes

michelle

[jannet.duff]

Ohhh ... Sometimes that switch just flips..

Unrealistic expectations ... Been there.

I am full time a full time transgender female, i can sort of pass, in the right light or far away.

It does defiantly come down to confidence and not really giving a shit what other people think.

I do have a collection of wigs, that help when it comes to passing, but at work wearing a wig is impossible, so with that i started to wear head bands. Now i mostly gave up on the wigs,  and wear headbands almost all the time.

Yeah.. We will get looks, but I am supprised and amazed on the amount of people who do show their support.

Off topic a little, but go for it.. Dont worry about other peoples feelings.

[kimi9r]

Wanting to not worry, and actually not worrying... well that’s the mental challenge, and it’s really tough, as we all know. I’m getting there, but not there yet- not really sure if I ever will, but I’m trying.

It’s a fun ride, but just not all the time. Definitely feeling better now I’ve dropped the unrealistic expectations and realise I can do it, just need some bigger cojones, which is kinda the opposite of what we’re trying to achieve, isn’t it LOL !!

[MeganJ]

They are obvious (your breasts) if you are looking for them but it's impossible to tell you are wearing a bra. To be honest I have found people see what they want to see, if they aren't expecting breasts though they wont be looking for or noticing them. I have the same problem at work where they project out quite a lot, although I don't wear a bra as it just makes them look even bigger and I think they are surely noticeable to someone, but seemingly not! 

Where I work isn't that big so it could just be the gossiping isn't that widespread but I have enough recruited enough spies and informants that I would get to hear if there was anything being discussed about me. I think people just read me as slightly eccentric with the long hair and noone has even commented about or noticed the lack of facial hair.

Am slowly working on getting my voice sorted and I naturally have a bit of strut going on these days when I walk, but I always think it's better to build your own confidence up first by acquiring the necessary skills than having to jump in head first. Plus when the day does come you haven't then got to try and pick everything up really quickly.

The biggest challenge is not so much what you need to learn to do or unlearn all the male stuff but mentally psyching yourself up for transitioning I feel its going to be a very draining few months so I want to ready both inside as well as out before I pull the transitioning trigger.

That said I get misgendered or correctly gendered a lot as things are so with a bit more effort I don't think things will be anywhere near as bad as I am expecting.

Megan

[kimi9r]

Thanks Megan - and "by acquiring the necessary skills than having to jump in head first", is exactly why I'm trying this approach so that it's all less foreign. I doubt I'll fully transition, happy with coexisting in both - at present - I just want to be better prepared, to be able to relax and enjoy fem mode, when I'm in it.

And, BTW, I've no idea how you manage to hide those glorious boobs, either with or without a bra !!

[julieTG]

Megan hiding boobs 
No nor me
Mine wobble and are about an eighth of the size of those beauties 
X
Deep puzzlement 
X
Julie

[MeganJ]

Megan hiding boobs 
No nor me
Mine wobble and are about an eighth of the size of those beauties 
X
Deep puzzlement 
X
Julie

Baggy shirts for work help, although they are starting to get somewhat tight fitting and having my shirt untucked helps, sort of makes me look longer in the body so hides things a little more. I really don't think I can hide them much longer though but given their size I have managed pretty well to keep things under wraps so far!