I don't want to give out my exact age, but since it's relevant to this thread I'll just say that I'm several years over 35 and will probably be several years until I'm able to transition the way my life is going. I look back on my life and feel like it's been wasted.
I'm wondering if these feelings will go away after I transition (if that ever happens) or if it won't be any better. I know there are some older people here compared to r/asktransgender (fuck that sub) so maybe I'll get some perspective as I know my view of life is heavily warped.
Maybe I'd feel better if I knew I was going to pass, but I doubt that. I haven't really experimented (much) with makeup, but I've used digital programs to add makeup. I've used digital filters with snapchat and faceapp, but that's basically what I'd look like if I had extensive surgery (in other words: not realistic).
Voice hasn't been much better. I've made some progress, but my natural voice is deep even for a male - have gotten compliments several times for it (which ofc is meaningless considering my circumstances).
So are there any late transitioners who felt hopeless before transition, but have a changed perspective afterwards? It seems like transitioning is just going to add new problems to my life. I remember years ago watching videos and reading about people saying transitioning was great from them, but I feel like that's only a selective sample. If you say that transitioning sucks and is difficult on reddit, you'll get downvoted so you don't hear about it as much.
(29-05-2020, 04:29 PM)jannet.duff Wrote: Where do I start ..lolJanet,
I do not play with female filters, don't care what an AI thinks what I may look like with 50k of surgery's.
I am just under 60. I came out to my wife 5 years ago , after playing with NBE for 12 months or so.
5'11" 190lb.. After a few years of being part time Jannet and gaining more confidence, I turned full time just over 12 months ago.
4 years HRT, I can still easily pass as male. I still occasionally get called sir when out and about.
My voice, even with voice training is a PITA.
As mentioned, "mostly" we just pass as middle age females. Unless we have to get somebody',s attention, most people either do not notice or do not care.
At some point, we have to stop caring what other people think I am doing this for me, not them.
The more you go out, the better things feel.
(06-05-2024, 09:58 AM)Kay Lady Wrote: Hi Pooky,Kay
I fight guilt and shame constantly. It's from my childhood. Parents, teachers, school, society are all to blame for toxic shame. It was how they operated back then. I feel shame for not being perfect, but we are all human and make mistakes. My mind can remember silly mistakes from my whole life! Like I am beating myself up for something no one else remembers decades ago!
They say try to live in the moment. The past is gone and we can't change it.