I see lots of labels, TV, TG, TS, CD etc....I don't actally know what they are, perhaps I'm just too lazy to research that or just don't care, what's worse is I have not the slightest idea what I am?
I started out as a guy who just wanted to grow boobs. Why? Not sure. Been through a couple of long term relationships which ended with me being hurt and finally gave up thinking I will never, ever let a woman make me feel like this again. I don't need them, don't want them and will compete with them and transform my body, I suppose thinking that I would get my own sexual satisfaction from myself not needing anybody else......sorta a bit true now, just a bit, but not complete.
After a while on hormones I started thinking about sex....passive role, having a man take me even though I don't like men. Sorta weird, men are horrid but want one in my bed, never expected that.
Then met somebody here and became totally infatuated with her. She though genetic male is 100 percent female and all thoughts of men instantly left my head. She, hope she doesn't read this....is overweight and is sensitive about that which is probably why we never physically met.....also corona.
I am obsessed with sculpting my barbie type figure so we are sort of opposites but I absolutely adored her, not just her character which is wonderful but all of her, her body, her figure everything about her and just dreamed of having her naked body pressed up against mine.
Forgot any desires of having a man inside me and just wanted to be hers. It got quite intense and yes we exchanged a LOT of naughty pictures, which I still look at and dream.
But it faded off after time of course and haven't heard from her for months and seriously don't expect to. She needs a man, yes I am a man but seriously....was always afraid that if I was on top of her, inside her, and she felt my back, bra straps and actual boobs pressing against hers, then........uuum, I really couldn't handle being dumped for who I have become, no!
Anyway that ended and I thought to heck with it, if I cannot have somebody.....eeeew that sounds awful, but yes if I can't then I will let somebody have me, just to see what it's like.
Well suppose more to it than that honestly but went ahead with it.
Not NOT her fault, no way, I had these feelings before I met her, important for me to make that clear.
Not to go into sexual details but was far, far more awesome than I expected. But wrong man, didn't fancy him in the slightest, well don't fancy men in general but if I did still wouldn't have fancied him. Was also selfish, not into foreplay unless it was me doing it being submissive on my knees (suprised me a lot that I actually enjoyed that as much as I did) and Mr Speedy, was far too fast, a sudden tensing of the body, grabbing me painfully tight, to get his donation as deep inside me as possible.
Yes makes you feel absolutely female to have a man so excited by you to do that, but was that it, it's over????
Unfortunately I am not a person for after sex, don't even want to be touched after, just want to lay there. Yes I was curious, I wanted to try it only once, even with a man I didn't like, but actually let him take me quire a few, well no, a lot of times.
But is really an annoying man who pathetically thinks he is dominant .....uuum no, you only get what I allow you! Bought a slutty 1/4 cup break up sex bra, that did the job, don't think it lasted even a minute, he could be a Gold Medalist in premature ejaculations. Now getting the angry what's app insulting messages, expecting tomorrow they will turn into crying and begging messages. Well that's what I did when a woman broke up with me.
But I tried it, was in a way wonderful but I honestly don't like men at all, just the anatomy. Maybe I should buy a vibrator?; But no, absolutely no way it can be the same, am not ashamed as I thought I may be before, I can excite a person enough to shudder inside of me. And it made me feel, well I don't think I can genuinely describe that.
But I think I may be able to go without that. No matter how it made me feel I still do think of only one fabulous person, the bond we had, the absolute desire just to lay next to her in bed and love her. To feel her body close to mine, the intimacy, something I cannot get anywhere else.
So WTF am I, I would do almost anything to be her man and make her happy....almost, I won't forsake my feminine side. Yes have experienced sex both ways and to be honest playing the female role was physically the best, but raw sex, not intimate at all, which is more important than anything.
So have done it, a little ashamed as as I did it I still had very, very strong feelings for somebody else, who doesn't want to know me anymore. But yes, did it, enjoyed it but my deepest feelings is for a transgendered girl who I am totally in love with who I want to love in the role as a man but won't give up my fem side. This is REALLY screwed up, I honestly cannot think of a label to describe my sexuality.
Please no comments like, talk to her, tell her your feelings, that's history, she knows how much I adore her and everything is my fault.......so move on, but how? with what?
I don't like men really, and am suspicious that any woman is ultimately out to hurt me. Also a bit difficult to get intimate with a woman when she realises your breasts are almost as big as hers.
Have tried looking for TS, TG on weird dating sites, some looked quite impressive until you look at the pics very close and realise the are stick on rubber boobs. Why dress up in lingerie and wear rubber pretend boobs, I haven't put in the time and effort to grow my own to look at a pretender with rediculous stick on thing's no matter how authentic they may look at a casual glance, put in the effort and be serious about it! But suppose anybody I look at I will find a fault with.
Still only one for me, but ruined it even though I don't know how, probably my boobs and rediculously skinny waistline, which I think intimidated her, but was totally in love with all of her, the complete package just the way she is. Bot bygones, have been alive long enough to know when to move on, and I will.
But still the question is......WTF am I now?????????
I started out as a guy who just wanted to grow boobs. Why? Not sure. Been through a couple of long term relationships which ended with me being hurt and finally gave up thinking I will never, ever let a woman make me feel like this again. I don't need them, don't want them and will compete with them and transform my body, I suppose thinking that I would get my own sexual satisfaction from myself not needing anybody else......sorta a bit true now, just a bit, but not complete.
After a while on hormones I started thinking about sex....passive role, having a man take me even though I don't like men. Sorta weird, men are horrid but want one in my bed, never expected that.
Then met somebody here and became totally infatuated with her. She though genetic male is 100 percent female and all thoughts of men instantly left my head. She, hope she doesn't read this....is overweight and is sensitive about that which is probably why we never physically met.....also corona.
I am obsessed with sculpting my barbie type figure so we are sort of opposites but I absolutely adored her, not just her character which is wonderful but all of her, her body, her figure everything about her and just dreamed of having her naked body pressed up against mine.
Forgot any desires of having a man inside me and just wanted to be hers. It got quite intense and yes we exchanged a LOT of naughty pictures, which I still look at and dream.
But it faded off after time of course and haven't heard from her for months and seriously don't expect to. She needs a man, yes I am a man but seriously....was always afraid that if I was on top of her, inside her, and she felt my back, bra straps and actual boobs pressing against hers, then........uuum, I really couldn't handle being dumped for who I have become, no!
Anyway that ended and I thought to heck with it, if I cannot have somebody.....eeeew that sounds awful, but yes if I can't then I will let somebody have me, just to see what it's like.
Well suppose more to it than that honestly but went ahead with it.
Not NOT her fault, no way, I had these feelings before I met her, important for me to make that clear.
Not to go into sexual details but was far, far more awesome than I expected. But wrong man, didn't fancy him in the slightest, well don't fancy men in general but if I did still wouldn't have fancied him. Was also selfish, not into foreplay unless it was me doing it being submissive on my knees (suprised me a lot that I actually enjoyed that as much as I did) and Mr Speedy, was far too fast, a sudden tensing of the body, grabbing me painfully tight, to get his donation as deep inside me as possible.
Yes makes you feel absolutely female to have a man so excited by you to do that, but was that it, it's over????
Unfortunately I am not a person for after sex, don't even want to be touched after, just want to lay there. Yes I was curious, I wanted to try it only once, even with a man I didn't like, but actually let him take me quire a few, well no, a lot of times.
But is really an annoying man who pathetically thinks he is dominant .....uuum no, you only get what I allow you! Bought a slutty 1/4 cup break up sex bra, that did the job, don't think it lasted even a minute, he could be a Gold Medalist in premature ejaculations. Now getting the angry what's app insulting messages, expecting tomorrow they will turn into crying and begging messages. Well that's what I did when a woman broke up with me.
But I tried it, was in a way wonderful but I honestly don't like men at all, just the anatomy. Maybe I should buy a vibrator?; But no, absolutely no way it can be the same, am not ashamed as I thought I may be before, I can excite a person enough to shudder inside of me. And it made me feel, well I don't think I can genuinely describe that.
But I think I may be able to go without that. No matter how it made me feel I still do think of only one fabulous person, the bond we had, the absolute desire just to lay next to her in bed and love her. To feel her body close to mine, the intimacy, something I cannot get anywhere else.
So WTF am I, I would do almost anything to be her man and make her happy....almost, I won't forsake my feminine side. Yes have experienced sex both ways and to be honest playing the female role was physically the best, but raw sex, not intimate at all, which is more important than anything.
So have done it, a little ashamed as as I did it I still had very, very strong feelings for somebody else, who doesn't want to know me anymore. But yes, did it, enjoyed it but my deepest feelings is for a transgendered girl who I am totally in love with who I want to love in the role as a man but won't give up my fem side. This is REALLY screwed up, I honestly cannot think of a label to describe my sexuality.
Please no comments like, talk to her, tell her your feelings, that's history, she knows how much I adore her and everything is my fault.......so move on, but how? with what?
I don't like men really, and am suspicious that any woman is ultimately out to hurt me. Also a bit difficult to get intimate with a woman when she realises your breasts are almost as big as hers.
Have tried looking for TS, TG on weird dating sites, some looked quite impressive until you look at the pics very close and realise the are stick on rubber boobs. Why dress up in lingerie and wear rubber pretend boobs, I haven't put in the time and effort to grow my own to look at a pretender with rediculous stick on thing's no matter how authentic they may look at a casual glance, put in the effort and be serious about it! But suppose anybody I look at I will find a fault with.
Still only one for me, but ruined it even though I don't know how, probably my boobs and rediculously skinny waistline, which I think intimidated her, but was totally in love with all of her, the complete package just the way she is. Bot bygones, have been alive long enough to know when to move on, and I will.
But still the question is......WTF am I now?????????
First am not attracted to them and any man who wants to penetrate me is going to be gay. That's not bad thing but it does bring problems too.