[Andy]

http://www.transgendertoday.com/2010/11/...ngagement/

[kerensa]

Thanks Andy, this couple were on a day time talk show a month or so back.I thought at the time, blimey this is well strange, he is the first person in the uk ever to change back after having a sex change, did make me realise however, what a lucky escape i had many years ago when i was probably just a year away from surgery. Trouble is with people like me their is no middle ground, your either happy being male or your TS and there is just too many people around ready to label you. When you state your not TS then there are people around who say "oh your in denial and afraid of losing all your family and friends" which is total rubbish, if my wife and i was to finish today then the only way i would change would be to get a boob job in the far east somewhere and maybe dress a bit more girly on more of a daily basis, but i would fall well short of ever changing sex.

Around the time of putting this thread on here i took the cogiati test again to see if it came out with the same results which it did andro, then like a huge ball of light something suddenly dawned on me, now i know most transgen folk will not give the cogiati test the time of day, however if that test works on how you think about situations in general, then that would suggest that part of my brain acts in a way more relevant to that of a female in certain incidences, also it suddenly struck me why me and my wife are so alike, the things we do and say and our tastes in so many things are also the same.

All along i have been looking for a reason as to why i am the way i am and all this time i have been carrying the reason inside me i feel, ive tried for years to take on and beat this transgen thing, but without somehow changing how my brain works i have always been destined to fail. Since my findings i have felt like a new person and the guilt i feel sometimes about wanting boobs or wearing womans clothes has totally gone, i no longer have a male and female side and all these urges to become more female is just me being me.

I dont expect anyone on here to understand as everyone is different, ive spend years trying to find someone just like me, but although coming close on occasions ive yet to come across anyone i can really relate to, still i feel ive found out what makes me tick and im so much more happier for finding out.

[sfem]

Interesting test. Pretty transparent too, so it is was hard not to select answers for the expected results but simply answer them. I hadn't seen the test before, thanks for posting it. I came up 3-androgyne, but I suspect that is simply because I had such a hodge-podge of directions in my answers, just like in my life. I'm glad you found value in the exercise, I tried it for that reason.

[Andy]

It is good to hear that there has been some revelations in your self on yourself and that you are a happier person for it.

As for the Cogiati test. Like you said. If it helped you with self-realization. Then it was worth doing. Which is one of the things mentioned in this article on the tests. http://www.tsroadmap.com/mental/gendertests.html
This is from the tsroadmaps. A site co-authored by Andrea James and Calpernia Adams.

[kerensa]

Only took this test as a way of entertainment and when i came up with me being andro i can remember thinking that i didnt like this term as it sounded rather macho lol Yeah some of the answers can be manipulated, but then again i knew what i had to say to gender shrinks to get put on hormones and what a mistake i would of been making if i had carried on down that road. I dont know if i am right or wrong about my assumptions, but i feel so much better because of it, so that cant be bad.

[Chrissiegirl]

I tried the same "test" and came up as a late developing Transexual[ if I recall the terms coreccetly] and I was left thinking "what the shit?". I have known I was transexual, since I was 6; just because I managed to supress it for 54 years, through sheer willpower, does that make me any the less a transexual. I grew up in a loving home,with succesfull parents, but with a great bias to comformity; that has made me who I am. My gut reaction was to conform; had I grown up in a Bohemian household, I may well have come out years ago. Equally, had I grown up in a disfunctiounal family, I would be in prison &/or under psychiatric care.
Only you know if you are transexual. This is a medical condition; your brain and body do not match and no outside pressure, or diagnonis will change that and it cannot be proved, short of an autopsy. To be swayed in what you know to be true, by outside pressures, is a sure fire route to mental health problems.
I urge you all to listen to Ipm [ Saturday 17.30 to 18.00 on radio 4 ] over the next few weeks. There shoud be a slot that will give great succour to many of you.

[kerensa]

Only you know if you are transexual. This is a medical condition; your brain and body do not match and no outside pressure, or diagnonis will change that and it cannot be proved, short of an autopsy. To be swayed in what you know to be true, by outside pressures, is a sure fire route to mental health problems.

I find this statement to be somewhat hypocritical coming from you chrisse, as throughout this thread you keep on trying to accuse me of being transsexual, despite me trying to explain that i went down the ts road many years back and realised luckily before it was too late that SRS would of been a recipe for disaster. You only have to look at this Charles Kane person to realise just because you like dabbling with female subjects does not make you female, wonder how many other TS people there are around regretting their actions just because they listened to other voices and not their own.

Shrink nurse i saw might of been talking a load of old rubbish when she said there is normally an underlying reason why you people are the way you are, but to some i feel, this could very well be the case. I have since found an andro website, which when i first came across i was gobsmacked at how much i had in common with some of them, its just so reassuring to realise im not the only one who feels like they are two genders in one, not only that but it also helps me to explain how i feel to my wife knowing im not alone in all this confusion.

[sfem]

I also am one who is of the 2 genders in one person camp. I don't feel like I am in the wrong body, just that my body has more potential than I have tapped into living a traditional male role. Funnily enough, I have no homosexual urges or interest at all, just want to explore more what my wife and I can do and enjoy together. In other words, my desires and curiousity are not just sexual in nature.

What andro website are you referring to, if you don't mind my asking?

[Chrissiegirl]

The Ts world is a world full of angst and mental health problems.The story of going down the TS route and resiling,from it, is so common, as to be unremarkable, were it not for the angst, that goes with it.
I urge you to listen to Ipm [ BBC radio 4, 5.30 to 6.00 on Saturday], over the next 3 weeks; you may find something of great importance.
I hid from my transexualism for 55 years,; what a wasted life.
I once, failed to advise, the mother of a Transexual child,for fear of being outed and it still haunts me , over 20 years later. That is why I want to offer as much help as I can. Being trasexual is a physical condition, which can only be hidden from, at huge cost, not just for you but ultimately, for all around you.

[kerensa]

Sfem the website is called Susans Place, it caters for all things transgendered on, but it has its own Androgyne section, now i have been searching for years to find people i can relate to and i have found plenty on there. Problem i have found over the years is where i have felt like im the only one who feels the way i do, then it has been easy for me to be intimidated by others, people telling me im TS and others saying all i need is low self esteem and anger management councilling. Have just felt like im the scarf wrapped round a tug of war rope, being pulled one way and then the other.

Since finding this Susans website, well its been like a breath of fresh air mixing with like minded people who you know some of which are in the same boat as yourself.Chrissie i would say some of my mental issues come form others insinuating that i am TS, yeah being TS does scare me and when i took the congiatti test i came in as being Andro by just 15 points (from possible TS) but you only got to look at my upbringing i was a right little sod when i was growing up, torturing ants with magnifying glasses, smacking butterflies with tennis rackets, wrecking my sisters dolls, not the sort of behaviour you would expect from someone who is TS eh? All it was right up through and past me teens was the feeling to want to wear womens clothes 24/7 and nothing has changed much now, would love nothing more than to get rid of every single piece of blokes clothes i have and replace them all with womens stuff, coming home from work and putting on skirts and leggins would be bliss, not always easy when you have two kids , but ya just gotta make the most of a bad job at times.

Currently wearing a bra on a daily basis at the moment, althought the cup is only an A its still seems to be like wearing an air bag, but im close to losing patience with all this boob growth malarky, personally cant see me ever getting to the size i want to be without a boob job and as that would mean going through all the hassle of seeing shrinks lying to them that i TS, well i just cant be bothered, just gonna have to get used to the idea that i probably gonna end up carking never becoming the person i truly believe i am.So unlike you Chrissie who is gonna become the person you feel you are, im the one whos gonna be looking back thinking "what a wasted life"