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Progress, plans and other ramblings

(24-05-2021, 08:43 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  
(24-05-2021, 08:26 PM)Happyme Wrote:  Hi Didi!
I know your in a hurry to be all woman. but lets not kill our self in the process.
Lotus please jump in here any time.
Dont be in a hurry to hurt yourself.
Slow down take a deep breath, take a long look in a full length mirror, and enjoy the amazing work that you have done so far.Its truly amazing!

Bureaucracy is slow at best and Corona has made it even worse.
The best part of your plan is getting a Dr and start the transition ball rolling.

Huggs
Bobbi

I guess Lotus has been busy or something, I haven't heard of her for a while. Oh and I'm really eager to her her advice.

I'm not in a hurry... And I am. The thing is that I can't sit on my ass for any longer, I need to take the next step soon or I'll end up worse off than I am. Mentally. I so badly wish we had the informed consent system here, I would be already all set with everything if that were the case. But no way, backwoods of the world where stuff is slow and old school and things are slow to change. Funny how Finland has worlds top internet connection, heck I could be typing this from literally middle of nowhere without problems. Then to get on hrt when in real need is slow as heck. Dodgy
I know many places require you to present and live as a woman for a year or more. Can you get started on that before you get the official go ahead?
Start looking at changing your name legally and other important documents. I feel for you and I dont want you to trip when your so close to the finish line.
Bobbi
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(24-05-2021, 08:43 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  
(24-05-2021, 08:26 PM)Happyme Wrote:  Hi Didi!
I know your in a hurry to be all woman. but lets not kill our self in the process.
Lotus please jump in here any time.
Dont be in a hurry to hurt yourself.
Slow down take a deep breath, take a long look in a full length mirror, and enjoy the amazing work that you have done so far.Its truly amazing!

Bureaucracy is slow at best and Corona has made it even worse.
The best part of your plan is getting a Dr and start the transition ball rolling.

Huggs
Bobbi

I guess Lotus has been busy or something, I haven't heard of her for a while. Oh and I'm really eager to her her advice.

I'm not in a hurry... And I am. The thing is that I can't sit on my ass for any longer, I need to take the next step soon or I'll end up worse off than I am. Mentally. I so badly wish we had the informed consent system here, I would be already all set with everything if that were the case. But no way, backwoods of the world where stuff is slow and old school and things are slow to change. Funny how Finland has worlds top internet connection, heck I could be typing this from literally middle of nowhere without problems. Then to get on hrt when in real need is slow as heck. Dodgy
Am not Lotus.....God forbid that I could possibly be so knowledgable. But you know I adore you BobbI and admire you but have to cut in...sorry.
What DiDi has managed to achieve in such a very short time is not just imprestive but at the risk of being insulting will call it miraculous. The diligence and dedication to a plan is quite impressive is a beacon for us all. C'mon we all start off in a bit of a hurry, we want it so badly and even though DiDi claims there is no hurry am not buying that because we all are in a bit of a hurry or were....sorry
but that's a fact. Not tyinng to be horrid, hoestly.
But you are right, seeking professional help is the way to proceed. It can be awkward my Doc knows and I get mammography but no help other than that. But don't give in, pester and annoy the doctor until he or she finally gives up. Am working on that. Really don't go on pharmacy alone.
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Hi DiDi
Unfortunately i have to agree with your girlfriend, because taking some herbs despite being still risky is undoubtly safer than taking real estrogen without medical supervision. I know it does sound hypocrite since i would probably be like you if i were in the same situation, but for real, i don't think it's the correct way to do that (my opinion).

Pharma hormones (not those weak forms in creams) are very strong substances and it's very easy to overdose or taking it the wrong way. Endocrinologists are there for a reason, they are not idiots, that shit is serious and could really harm you damaging your organs way more than years of herbs overdosing could do.

Even if the medical system is the SLOWEST way to achieve your transition, it is the SAFEST way, remember it.
I am sorry to disappoint you by saying all this, but reconsider everything you achieved in the last year and a half and think about what you gained and learned, not on what you are missing right now. I'm sure there is a lot of good things which have come with your NBE journey and taking this dangerous step could make you lose a lot of it (if not everything).
Take care Larissa, remember this forum will support you regardless of the program.
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(24-05-2021, 09:04 PM)Alexis P Wrote:  Hi DiDi
Unfortunately i have to agree with your girlfriend, because taking some herbs despite being still risky is undoubtly safer than taking real estrogen without medical supervision. I know it does sound hypocrite since i would probably be like you if i were in the same situation, but for real, i don't think it's the correct way to do that (my opinion).

Pharma hormones (not those weak forms in creams) are very strong substances and it's very easy to overdose or taking it the wrong way. Endocrinologists are there for a reason, they are not idiots, that shit is serious and could really harm you damaging your organs way more than years of herbs overdosing could do.

Even if the medical system is the SLOWEST way to achieve your transition, it is the SAFEST way, remember it.
I am sorry to disappoint you by saying all this, but reconsider everything you achieved in the last year and a half and think about what you gained and learned, not on what you are missing right now. I'm sure there is a lot of good things which have come with your NBE journey and taking this dangerous step could make you lose a lot of it (if not everything).
Take care Larissa, remember this forum will support you regardless of the program.
Yeah that's articulated and serious advice.
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Thank you all for the advice and nice words.

Bobbi, the list of requirements and the wait is quite extreme in here. Not as idiotic as in UK, but not quite far from that either. No matter what I do, there's a big time SLOOOOOW obstacle course ahead before they actually do anything, meaning to write a simple piece of paper to get me actually started. I've been living full time fem for a while now, outside work for much longer. Btw, that's one intriguing thing, how in the hell do they monitor someone living as their preferred gender? Its not like some medical Stasi who put spies and snitches on every block to watch their patients... Just something to ponder upon. I have a friend who suspects that as I'm pretty much all out by now and already have visible body changes, I may be able to skip a lot of the bullshit as it should be quite obvious that I'm already on my way and I mean it.

Drew, hurry yes. And no. I say both because I have been very patient and persistent with what I've been doing. But also I have the sense of urgency which doesn't give me peace if I don't act upon it. This sense of urgency has been building up in the back of my mind for years... It took me 35 years to realize what is "wrong" with me, another year to dare to even consider herbs, another yer to get where I am now. I've outed myself to everyone and go out and about as me all the time... And yet I feel I'm missing out and need to act. I have to. There is no choice.

Alexis, good points there. I'm not into wrecking my health for realizing my dreams, but I am getting slightly impatient. I should have been in this situation in my life already years and years ago. I feel left behind, like I'm running but not moving.

Dangerous, yes, c'est la vie.

Its dangerous to cross a road, dangerous to step out of the house. And dangerous to alter hormones for sure. So yea, booking a doctor and getting them to do their work would be in order. Oh and I definitely will ask for my blood to be dug through, I want to know what's happening below the hood, I'm sure some nice people here will help me interpret the numbers. Big Grin 

Aanyway... I must get things on the move, I can't stand this prison cell much longer. Feels like herbs have gave me some relief but not keys to get out. Dysphoria is 0na insidious demon, more I get, more I seem to lack.
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I heard very similar things from Diana, then covid and lock down just made the process even longer, but she is finally on that road now. As for ordering prescription drugs from abroad I do hear that Finland is notoriously strict and it's difficult to get any sort of medication past customs. But that's for your own protection can never be really sure what you are actually getting.
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(25-05-2021, 05:03 AM)Drew Wrote:  I heard very similar things from Diana, then covid and lock down just made the process even longer, but she is finally on that road now. As for ordering prescription drugs from abroad I do hear that Finland is notoriously strict and it's difficult to get any sort of medication past customs. But that's for your own protection can never be really sure what you are actually getting.

Yea, our beloved leaders have setup a nanny state that treats us like irresponsible kids on many things. But its no wonder, majority of Finns are authority believers who either obey because they think they have to, or they're the kind who actually need someone to tell them how to live and what to do.

I was afraid I wouldn't even get my pm here as its prohibited stuff, the selling and importing are. Yea, its a total gamble if I get it or not. I want to find out. I know of one person who did get theirs from Portugal without problems.
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I asked my gf to pull it really tight. I wanted to see how extreme shape I can get with the corset. Took my waist down to 88cm. I wish it was like this all the time without tricks. Tongue
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Hi Didi and friends, 

Sorry for not being around so much, I became a grandparent for the time recently so I've been a bit like " moons over my hammy " with the little guy. 

I'm not sure what I can offer in the way of advice concerning transition, but here goes it. Originally when I joined BN (aug' 2013) my goal was to grow past a B or C cup. Early on I achieved that goal, and within 2 years of using herbs I decided to keep things moving down the road and took DIY hormones. Oh I tried to get on HRT but was rebuked by an a-hole of an endocrinologist, in fact he suggested I get my breasts removed. He sent me on my way telling me to come back in a year because he didn't accept my dysphoria. Demoralized I found a diy HRT source, I did this for a year. I did come back a year later only to be rebuked a second time. I said adios to that fuck tard and proceeded to find another trans friendly doctor...which took another year. Each step in my transition has been met with great difficulty, I've documented most of this journey in my program thread. Most recently I've been jumping through hoops concerning getting an Orchiectomy, currently awaiting an approval from insurance...its been almost 2 years since I brought the topic up to my gender doc #2, needless to say I'm on my 3rd gender doctor. When someone spouts off on getting on HRT on the first visit I am happy for them, though secretly I want to smash them Wink

Didi I hope you have a less difficult time finding the proper trans care than I. I'm so happy you've found acceptance with your loved ones. Transition and the family dynamic can be fraught with intolerance, hate or worse, however..when you have a loving (and accepting) family it goes much easier. Speaking from experience, NBE took me as far as it could..the next logical step (for me and many before me) was to go on HRT. I realized herbs just weren't enough anymore...hey things change. I remember saying I'd never go on HRT in the first place, and look what happened. I believe Didi has faced this crossroad too and is taking it head on. Once we've accepted transition in our life we realize that we are correcting what nature got wrong in the first place, whether it be young or old the call to further oneself is too great to ignore. Didi, you have people who care for your well being a great deal here at BN. And to those friends I say trust in Didi making her decision to further herself...it wasn't easy. Why some people don't stay on at BN after going on HRT is anybody's guess, but hey I'm still here...granted, erratic at times. Smile

I do have something I've been working on to share that's truly wonderful, well for some who want to do NBE and keep the libido active. It won't increase T, and it may prevent shrinkage down below, stay tuned.Wink I hope to reconnect with friends real soon. 
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(26-05-2021, 08:05 AM)Lotus Wrote:  Hi Didi and friends, 

Sorry for not being around so much, I became a grandparent for the time recently so I've been a bit like " moons over my hammy " with the little guy. 

I'm not sure what I can offer in the way of advice concerning transition, but here goes it. Originally when I joined BN (aug' 2013) my goal was to grow past a B or C cup. Early on I achieved that goal, and within 2 years of using herbs I decided to keep things moving down the road and took DIY hormones. Oh I tried to get on HRT but was rebuked by an a-hole of an endocrinologist, in fact he suggested I get my breasts removed. He sent me on my way telling me to come back in a year because he didn't accept my dysphoria. Demoralized I found a diy HRT source, I did this for a year. I did come back a year later only to be rebuked a second time. I said adios to that fuck tard and proceeded to find another trans friendly doctor...which took another year. Each step in my transition has been met with great difficulty, I've documented most of this journey in my program thread. Most recently I've been jumping through hoops concerning getting an Orchiectomy, currently awaiting an approval from insurance...its been almost 2 years since I brought the topic up to my gender doc #2, needless to say I'm on my 3rd gender doctor. When someone spouts off on getting on HRT on the first visit I am happy for them, though secretly I want to smash them Wink

Didi I hope you have a less difficult time finding the proper trans care than I. I'm so happy you've found acceptance with your loved ones. Transition and the family dynamic can be fraught with intolerance, hate or worse, however..when you have a loving (and accepting) family it goes much easier. Speaking from experience, NBE took me as far as it could..the next logical step (for me and many before me) was to go on HRT. I realized herbs just weren't enough anymore...hey things change. I remember saying I'd never go on HRT in the first place, and look what happened. I believe Didi has faced this crossroad too and is taking it head on. Once we've accepted transition in our life we realize that we are correcting what nature got wrong in the first place, whether it be young or old the call to further oneself is too great to ignore. Didi, you have people who care for your well being a great deal here at BN. And to those friends I say trust in Didi making her decision to further herself...it wasn't easy. Why some people don't stay on at BN after going on HRT is anybody's guess, but hey I'm still here...granted, erratic at times. Smile

I do have something I've been working on to share that's truly wonderful, well for some who want to do NBE and keep the libido active. It won't increase T, and it may prevent shrinkage down below, stay tuned.Wink I hope to reconnect with friends real soon. 

Oh wow, congratulations, no wonder you've been offline for a while, that is so awesome!!! Children are a blessing, aren't they. <3 <3 So happy for you. Big Grin

Right now I'm expecting a call from the local hospital, I will book a doctor today, ask them right away if they have a doctor who's familiar with trans patients just in case they do have someone who's in the know to a degree... Likely not, but it wont hurt to ask. There's bunch of things I want to deal all in one go, trans clinic referral, a little talk about possibility of DIY hrt, I will tell about my herbal stuff and plans and so on. Then ask to renew my asthma meds and ask to prescribe some decent nicotine patches, something stronger than what they sell over the counter. As I really badly want to get rid of smoking, doing ok job on it already. Half of what I did before or even slightly less. That one bag of tobacco has lasted on me for almost a week, I used to empty that in less than two days. And to top it off, I will ask to book lab time to check my blood for everything. Its been years since I did that and I really want to know what's going on with my hormones.

That's interesting story, not that encouraging about the doctors, but that is to be expected, most of them are almost completely oblivious on how to deal with trans patients.

Yes, I'm definitely sitting at the crossroads about my transition and I'm ready to take the next step. I've waited and experimented enough to know what estrogens do to me, plant based or otherwise.... And I'm not the kind to sit and wait for the slow gears of the system to turn in my favor if there is another way. There's plenty of people in Finland on some sort of DIY hormone therapy, some have went through private doctors, some completely on their own. One interesting case I know about, (s)he's very much of and oddball, non binary, but looks a lot like a guy these days, born female, she got her hrt (T) from a private doctor, pretty much taught the doc what to prescribe and why and got hers like that. Another I know of got E patches from Aphrodite's shop without problems, afaik she's completely on her own with it...

The point being that I wont sit idle or go on with herbs only forever, I'm near the end of that road and I think I'm ready to jump the hrt bandwagon. I have all the time in the world to learn this inside and out, been on the lookout for interesting science to read and found some already. Not to mention everything here on BN.

So I guess I'm sort of acting in haste, but not diving into dark waters without poking around at first. The haste here being that I have no choice, I wont suffer a minute more when I know there is a 'cure' out there and its not any more expensive than the herbs are. My idea is this, go talk with a doc, get blood work done to establish a baseline on where I am right now, get on hrt once my pm stash runs out and/or when I know enough on how to proceed, go to the trans clinic asap and do everything I can to make the process as shift and painless as possible. When the time comes, go on 'official' govt backed (nearly free) hrt...
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