[HandofFate]

I'll add few thoughts here.... First of all, grabbing on to my weight and size and the frame I have is extremely nasty bully tactic. There's nothing I can do to the fact that I got about twenty five years of testosterone damage to my body before starting transition. That is not my fault, I had no knowledge or means to transition earlier. Secondly, I'm doing my best to fix this damage, I have almost nothing to make it happen with other than HRT and other hormone magic. I can't likely never afford expensive surgeries so food, exercise and HRT is almost all I have. Do not fucking goddamn mock me for the body I have!! I DID NOT choose it!

There's a ton of ways to femininity. Its not some monolith which lands into the ridiculous false idiotic beauty "standards" to which 99,99% of all women can't fit into! Look at cis women out there, look at them! Look how diverse they are. There's everything imaginable. Having some weird narrow beauty standard brainwashing style idea that only way to femininity is some slim super model, that is fucking naive. It is stupid as fuck. Its false, completely, totally false.

Guess what, I'm tall and bulky and big, there's a goddamn good reason I'm also chubby. That makes me curvy. I get those curves to the right places. No man ever has had the body I do because my shape is very feminine. I see women with similar body shape very often, but men.... Nope, guys don't look like I do. But my female cousins do, with the difference that I'm taller and overall bigger than them.

Do not ever mock my validity as a woman! Don't fucking mock my body, I don't have it by choice and I'm doing my best to make it better. I have big body image issues, I suffer from extreme dysphoria and dysmorphia on the side. I have shitty confidence with which I'm doing everything I can to feel happy and confident. I'm doing everything I can to be feminine and pretty. And I'm doing good job on it! I stealth pass to strangers, no one out there stares at me any more, no one reacts weirdly to me. People do not misgender me any more.

Here's the deal, people would treat me like crap if they saw a big ugly masculine ogre in a dress. But they don't, they see a tall pretty woman and treat me accordingly. I don't get nasty stares, I get smiles, I get men checking me out and being nice to me out of the blue... I get complimented for my looks all the time. More than I believe to be even true... I don't think all those people are liars out there to just appease me, those who don't know me wouldn't know to do it. They have zero idea I'm a trans woman.

Beacause I pass, I'm feminine and pretty and I'm good at faking confidence. Don't fucking mock my body, it hurts me.

This is the only time I'll address this. My fuse is shorter than last time and any start of a flame war in my thread will get reported to the admin right away. Have a nice day.

You choose to gain hundreds of pounds. People don’t mock transgender people in public. They do it when the transgender people are away. Nobody is going to say anything to your face. And I don’t see women with big bellys, only men. If gaining weight caused both my belly and breasts to grow I might do it in cycles to avoid stretch marks on my stomach. The whole point of transition is to pass. Does your doctor ask about your periods or if you are pregnant? My doctor scheduled me for a well woman exam and I know I don’t pass. It’s just humor in the doctor office.

[HelloDiDi]

You choose to gain hundreds of pounds. People don’t mock transgender people in public. They do it when the transgender people are away. Nobody is going to say anything to your face. And I don’t see women with big bellys, only men. If gaining weight caused both my belly and breasts to grow I might do it in cycles to avoid stretch marks on my stomach. The whole point of transition is to pass. Does your doctor ask about your periods or if you are pregnant? My doctor scheduled me for a well woman exam and I know I don’t pass. It’s just humor in the doctor office.

I have not gained HUNDREDS OF POUNDS dumb ass!! You do not know me, you do not know my life experience, you do not know how people treat me, you only know what I tell on the forum. You really think all those people I meet speak badly behind my back?  Btw, my healthcare stuff, what I talk with my doctor and so on is none of your business. I'll tell what I want people to know.

If your whole idea is to be cis passing, well good luck sister.  And oh, cry me a river of failing at it. Its quite disgusting you're puking your bitterness, envy, self hatred and dysphoria on me. Stop projecting, I'm not like you are.

And by the way, the whole point of transitioning is to become happy. You don't seem to be fairing too well at it... And you suck at making friends too.

[Mel87]

You choose to gain hundreds of pounds. People don’t mock transgender people in public. They do it when the transgender people are away. Nobody is going to say anything to your face. And I don’t see women with big bellys, only men. If gaining weight caused both my belly and breasts to grow I might do it in cycles to avoid stretch marks on my stomach. The whole point of transition is to pass. Does your doctor ask about your periods or if you are pregnant?

My doctor scheduled me for a well woman exam and I know I don’t pass. It’s just humor in the doctor office.

Actually I've been the witness to people that openly mock transgender people in public creating a scene. I think your living in a bubble and your perception of reality is quite warped. There is also a ton of incidents where people are outright aggressive to trans people.

The whole point of transition is to pass. Does your doctor ask about your periods or are you pregnant?

You could never ever be more wrong than on this, the whole point of transitioning is to be comfortable with ourselves. I don't care if I didn't pass to someone else's standards the main thing is we are happy, we don't exist to please other people and I think I can say the same for all transpeeps.

I bet I watch my blood more than you do. I would pay for my tests out of pocket before I was seeing a doctor. I also ordered tests my doctor would not.

I'm not sure what you mean by this I can't tell if your being passive aggressive, you have no idea what is going on with my bloods or how often I have them tested.

[Crystal Amethyst]

Lara (DiDi),

You are a beautiful woman. You worked very hard to get where you are at. The internet is full of people who will say anything just to get a reaction or upset people. Kinda wonder what goes on between their ears? I wish they would read a psychology book and learn about projection, because that is what they are doing. They also need to do some shadow work, because really, what they are saying is about them not others.

[HelloDiDi]

Lara (DiDi) You are a beautiful woman. You worked very hard to get where you are at. The internet is full of people who will say anything just to get a reaction or upset people. Kinda wonder what goes on between their ears? I wish they would read a psychology book and learn about projection, because that is what they are doing. They also need to do some shadow work, because really, what they are saying is about them not others.

Thanks. <3

Yea, that's what weak minded fools do, they hurt, they project and some get off of it. People are shit. I've had rather quiet time online lately, until posting a bit more just now within the last two weeks because I've felt much better and confident about it. What can I do, I'm the lamp shining in the darkness, all kinds of nasty bugs always flock into the glow, but they forget it burns their wings if they come too close.

[HandofFate]

I don’t care about being a happy hon. I care more about living female, you know the whole point of transition. Good for you.

[HelloDiDi]

I don’t care about being a happy hon. I care more about living female, you know the whole point of transition. Good for you.

Yea, I can totally see your point.  

[DruLactin]

I don’t care about being a happy hon. I care more about living female, you know the whole point of transition. Good for you.

I'm hoping you get at least a slight bit of comfort by trying to diminish the achievements of people who will go and have gone further in life than you ever will. I'm sure spewing endless negativity (baseless negativity, i should add) will soothe that bitter gnawing pain of failure.

basically you

[HandofFate]

Day 345

11½ months on HRT today, measurement day. And what do you know, there's new changes again. My breasts grew some more, on very similar pace to the last two months or so. I lost a tiny bit from band and waist, hips stayed the same. (I'm comparing to two weeks ago.) So here's how things look now. I just broke to small G cup, I think there's still  bit of "air" in the way I measure volume, but the results are consistent. My newest bra fits very tightly, tightest band setting is starting to feela  bit uncomfortable. Cups have straightened up so they're almost as full as they go. The material is so giving that it'll fit nicely for quite some time, but I'm afraid I will grow out of this bra quite quickly. Makes me sad, it was expensive and easily the best one I've had so far.

I will attach few pictures. Clothed one I'm wearing the 85/38H/FF bra with some padding, its fitting far nicer now. This one's gonna be very flaunting once I grow some more. All new projection is starting to show even when I'm lying down which is amazing. " alt="" title=""> I love it... Very soon its one year mark and that calls for a long and extensive post about everything that has happened on last 12 months.


Bust              Band                Waist                 Hips:
135cm 53,1" / 100cm 39,3" / 98,5cm 38,7" / 130cm 51,2"
Breast volume: 1604cc 90G/40G/40F

what is your diet, is it mostly carbs and sugar?

[HelloDiDi]

what is your diet, is it mostly carbs and sugar?

I don't eat crap. I am not stupid.

Get the hell out of my thread stick figure. The wind is going to knock you over around here. You're not going to grow boobs by asking insulting questions. Happy pride month bitch.