For a long time you have been an inspiration to many of us! I just wonder if you were growing, feminizing and improving constantly. To the point of expecting constant growth and when it doesn't happen it's a real downer. Maybe your body, mind and spirit need a long break. Maybe to you need to find yourself and think about your future. I think this journey is a very hard one and I am sure you know that.I have not achieved the results that you and many of the girls here have. My pace is much slower. Some days I look in the mirror and see a woman, other days I can look in the same mirror and see a man. My old self and that triggers dysphoria and depression. If your identity is a woman, you are there. Go easy on yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you. Maybe you need to shift your focus for a while. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Riding a bicycle, walking, meditating? Nourish your spirit and give the whole physical transformation a break. Get back on that path when you are ready. Remember, you (and all of us) are beautiful people! I hope you the best Jamie!
Yeah I know I'd changed a lot in many ways over the last two years. It really started getting to me a bit once things slowed down to what felt like a halt and when my boob progress fell backwards due to the weight loss. I expected to lose bust size of course but now often they look like a sad reminder of how full they once were. It is a very hard journey, yeah. I'm transitioning with full blown HRT and everyone else who is experiencing the same will have a tough road ahead. My identity is a woman, or that's what I want to be even if my reflection sometimes makes me feel far less than that. I'll still be exercising and will try weight cycling since either way a good 10 pound gain might be good for me after I hit close to 140 as my goal. Thanks for the kind words Crystal~ I'll keep trying my best moving forward and doing what I can with the things I can control. I too hope and wish you all the best!
(04-09-2022, 10:31 AM)HelloDiDi Wrote: I want to cheer you up, but I don't know what to say...
Except about pumping, you went too rough on yourself and you got to start easier and build up a tolerance to it. I get this same problem after a break if I start as usual. As strange as it sounds, your boobs have to get used to it. Start with low pressure and short sessions and then slowly build it up, take like five to ten minute increments to it and very slowly build up to using higher pressure. It takes time, but once you're used to it and start to build up the hours, it can be very rewarding.
I'm now about two and half months on with more rigorous pumping regimen, same as before, but pushing in more than twice the hours. Believe me that it works. Key to success with pumping is to not overdo it, pushing in the hours and being consistent.
Aww don't worry Lara. Thanks for the advice you've given me. It's all I can ask for~ I'll try it again once I recovered and see how things go. ^_^ You're a constant helper and super kind.
I hope your ok, I think I missed you this morning on Discord, I wanted to let you know that its ok and seems to be a price we pay with being trans, skeletal wise we are a little behind our cis counterparts and we need that extra pudge to give us the curves. You've done nothing wrong at all but your images and everything is very telling that your structure is fem. But to get a real advantage we need to be a little "delightfully chubby" nothing crazy and weight cycle to put all that pudge in the right places and develop your curves and fill in boobs and bum.
For instance look at cis models at a certain point they lose all curves, this point is earlier in us. So to optimise and bring it back just put a little back weight back on. Its what I had to do when I realised the issue with me. Its not good to keep eating at a deficit and exercises as you won't have enough fuel for the transition. None of this is permanent damage and once your eating and exercising a normal amount it will balance out and then combined with weight cycling your end result will be even better.
Also with pumping I started with 10mins a day and then 10mins twice a day and slowly built up to an hour. Once I was at the hour I slowly started to increase pressure to what I feel is optimal for me and thats -0.1 at this time on the inside ring. So don't do it all at once you'll get there!
It was with someone I'd actually met a long time ago too. A step-dad of a friend of mine. He clearly didn't recognize me, and with only one other cis girl there hanging out, he implied there were 'ladies present' and later on even directly spoke to me asking why I wasn't doing something with the others but saw I was on my phone and said 'oh, she's playing with her phone', hehe. I didn't actually expect to be around someone besides friends and my brother that day so I was in a more androgynous fit that day.
Speaking of my brother, how wild a day it was, cus the day before I had all but come out to my brother on the phone and told him I'd tell him everything when we went to hangout. So not only did I male fail, in that same day I came out to a super accepting brother who without hesitation called me his sister~ I was happy that he was excited for me when I was called a girl too. He really is such a great brother so far and is the person I most wanted to keep in my life. If no one else accepts me, at least I'll have him, just like we always had each other our whole lives growing up.
But yesssss! Whaaaa! I still can't believe it! Everything is falling into place at last!
I'll even have a new roommate next month, a girl who inspired me to learn my voice. She hasn't been able to transition with HRT yet but her voice was always top notch. She used to be a shut-in but has been growing so well over the last year, moving out of her dads and finally starting on a path she can hopefully be proud of. This will be a big deal for both of us and should make both of our future's even brighter! I can't wait to see how much we both can help each other improve from here and onward ^_^
Beyond all that I did have my laser session a week or two back. Not sure I mentioned it here or not, but regardless I can clearly see that the last annoying bigger patches have finally mostly burned and died. I've included a pic of the not very fem or enduring outfit that made me male fail too, showing off the lower half of my face for the sake of the clarity of my laser results. This is obv with no makeup, bra, messy hair, and all that.
And a final update. I have been able to lose a bit of weight again recently~ My new lowest is 143.4, though I have still been alternating between it and 144.4, but either way it's a good sign I've not entirely stagnated on weight loss. Just a few more pounds to go! :3
The first one is always quite like "huh wait what did they say...." as they sort of snap us back to reality. I must say without a doubt your brother is awesome every trans/enby needs that. Having heard your praise for her voice is amazing and you and her will surely make quite a "team"
Keep up the good work on weight loss you got this!
(This post was last modified: 18-10-2022, 09:56 PM by Jamie-May.)
Hello everyone~!
It's officially been 2 years of HRT since the 14th, and I'll say it's been a crazy experience. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of hard work. Lots of hiding everything from parents and family while I lived under there roof. But now I'm so happy~ I'm so much more me~ And wow is the difference I've made so noticeable to me in both face and body. Weight loss, hair regrowth, changes from estrogen. All very exciting stuff!
Laser has of course been very wonderful too if not super painful >.< But it's worth it. After this last session I did on the 13th, I assume I'll be a good way clear once I start shedding this round. I'd say I only have about 2 or so more sessions before I'm mostly if not completely clear of the darker hairs that laser can target, leaving only the lighter bits that are intermingled with the rest. So light they're hard to see if not impossible after a good shave. Am very giddy about seeing how I look once I no longer have any visible beard shadow ^_^
Other than that it's been wonderful living here with my roommates, especially even more after the person who inspired me to learn my female voice moved in. She isn't on HRT yet but she's just gotten a job and is well on her way~ I'll be giving her my leftover pills since I swapped to injection and monitoring from there. Here's hoping that she takes well to E as much as I have!
As of now I still only have my brother in my family who knows I'm trans and he's been amazing. I'm lucky to have him in my life. I hope for his sake he can also move out of our parents house as he still lives with them, but he needs to find a job first. It's really a stifling environment and I worry about him as it causes him depression and to sink into over use of certain medications hes has... I don't wanna find him dead or in the hospital one day due to overdose... And yet I know how hard it is to get strong enough to dig out of the hole our parents dug us into. Either way I've been ramping up measures against my parents should they choose the worst options of hating me enough to attempt to ruin my life. An unfortunate set of backup plans, but in this world, it's better safe than sorry.
Anyway, as a celebration timeline of sorts, I've included a few pictures. Couple of my earliest days on PM, and one from about a week ago. Let's see who all can believe that's even the same person in those old pictures anymore, hehe~ To me I've been able to disassociate myself from that old picture so much that it's basically not even me I see but someone I knew in the past. It truly is incredible how much different I feel I've become, enough to know who I am and know who I was pretending to be much to my mental and physical detriment.
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