I went through a lot of this stuff you're talking about back when I was figuring myself out and questioning.. Or mostly for me it was about breaking my self denial more than anything else, deep down I knew already at the time when I started to look into how to feminize my body. It was not a game, not for fun, it was about becoming my real self all the way.

Btw, drop the "ism" from transgender because it is not an ideology, its about existing as yourself... If you're transgender, that's who you are, its not an ism. It really irks me when people keep on calling in that, some big names and people with media visibility do that too and its bad for us all. Any gender identity is what it is, none has to do with ideology at all. Sorry for nitpicking, but words do matter as they're often used to oppress.

To me a certain sign is questioning, there must be a reason that you're seriously wondering about this stuff. Majority may play with the idea "what if I was a woman for a day?" type of thing, but to seriously questiong what and who you are is telling in itself and to be taken seriously. Self search is always worth the effort in life anyway as what are we here for if not grow up and evolve as humans. And normalcy, is being transgernder woman abnormal? Minority are, but I think its very much normal and natural part of human condition as why would we exist otherwise?  

I dunno if I'm biased to talk about this or an oddball in a flock of strange birds because I'm more than likely also intersex because my body is strange, to me questioning and figuring things out and finally acting upon it came quite naturally and it was a very long process which started already when I was little kid... But reading your posts I see a lot of myself in it, including body building background and such, I did that too and for me it was largely a failed attemp at male compensation. I also absolutely loved the exercise but the lifestyle itself was too high maintenance and then my haleath started to fail, I likely closely avoided completely destroying my wrists/carpal tunnels and so on, I'm rambling, I've talked about this a lot in my thread if you're interested in digging into it.

I think questioning is healthy, there must be a reason why you keep asking this stuff. In the end no one else can answer your questions but yourself. Go back to your past, your memories, when did this start, has it been consistently growing in your mind for years or came up just recently? How does the idea of transition make you feel? Scared? Excited? Consider what are the pros and cons if you do it, that's a big one to think of, you don't want to regret your decisions, but more than likely regret of not figuring yourself out would be worse. What ever it ends up being, questioning is the right thing to do as this stuff is clearly bothering you.

Hate to resurrect an old thread like this but this just resonated with me so much. Because of family and such I could never fully transition, but once I started crossdressing more often/every day I began craving feminizing myself more. I was cruising poshmark for some BBL leggings (don't judge lol) and saw some supplements and that lead me here. Now I'm trying to decide what it is that I want to do......I know that I would not regret wider hips and larger breasts, but I'm afraid of losing my man side (mainly erections and strength). I might try to see a therapist just to have someone to talk to.

I wonder what became of Julie TG?

Just out of curiosity how many here decided to speak with a therapist or gender identity specific professional before committing to transitioning, or even before starting nBE products to feminize?

I am currently looking into therapist for gender identity amount other things. 

I've always felt since I was a child that being 100% male didn't resonate with me completely... So I am not sure what I identify as, possibly more gender fluid since some parts of me are very masculine and others are feminine. I've always wanted to be more feminine and be able to express it more than what the social norms allow. I've even wanted to be a woman several times in my life. But I always think its just maybe my feminine side going extreme since it's usually always kept in a box so to speak. 

Don't get me wrong I love my masculine body, I've worked very hard to get this body and muscle lots of time, and money went into getting my body the way it is, but again part of me wished I was a woman and did it as a woman. And now I feel I would lose a lot of it my muscle and fitness if I ever were to transition and with my size I prob would not pass with out having to have major surgery. But I guess that's a common the delema. Maybe it's more about accepting that I'll always be on the more masc side of feminine. Which is ok I guess. seems like no one ever attains their dream body even if it's of the same gender as their starting point. I just have major body image issues since I'll never be muscular enough and I won't ever be feminine enough either.

It's my understanding that the reason Julie gave on why she left was her son found her porn stash on her computer and she decided to change her ways. Or something like like. If memory serves me, she was always talking about micro-dosing PM and how it affected her obsession with pornography.

It's my understanding that the reason Julie gave on why she left was her son found her porn stash on her computer and she decided to change her ways. Or something like like. If memory serves me, she was always talking about micro-dosing PM and how it affected her obsession with pornography.

So that would explain it. Julie was such a lively presence on this forum andher "journey" was something to follow.

What do you label a man with Breast implants that’s just wants Breasts?  It really doesn’t matter what anyone says. It’s how you feel about yourself that matter. Labels are just that. Labels

Labels are funny... I know so well that my generation and people bit older had a big thing back in the day about "i'm unique, do not label me" kind of thing, wheareas younger people these days are all abut labels and categories. I guess its kinda counter reaction, but it also helps to easily make some sense to complex things like gender identity/expression and sexual orientation and so on. We know well how diverse we are with this as people are diverse, so making up silly names for stuff helps to make quick sense to chaos of human condition.

What I said in that quoted old post, drop the "ism" from all of this, I stand by that. None of this stuff is an ideology or a belief system. Otherwise labels are cool, not to be taken too seriously, just to make quick sense to chaotic nature of what it is to be a human.

About those labels, I'm quite a mess btw.... Very likely intersex, also transgender but keep in mind that in my language sex and gender use the same word, to when I say that in Finnish I'm saying at the same time that I'm transgender and trans sex which is cool because it lines up so well with who I am. And about sexual orientation, that's harder one. I'm clearly Pansexual as I don't care about which gender/expression my partner has as long as love them, but I'm also very demisexual because I need emotional bond to feel attraction, but I'm also somewhat asexual while on HRT as it has neutered my libido so much I'm rarely even on the mood. And then add into this a lesbian romantic because I never seem to end up dating guys even though sexually I'm totally cool with them. Makes sense huh? Such a simple thing. xD lol

Is there's a name for "hypersexual trans women who are nothing but sextalk piss me off?" kinda thing? If so, I wanna know.

I'm learning new things every day lol. I just wished I learned new things about myself every day that are solid and concrete or I guess that I don't end up doubting the very next day I should say. Not that they are not solid or concrete I guess my faith and belief in myself questions if those things are concrete or if my "identity" that I have assumed all these years just takes back over and creates that doubt

Caged,

I have also struggled with this dual-identity all my life. 

Started CD'ing at the age of 5. Started strength training at age 12. 
Both of these persisted and increased over the years.
Had desires and fantasies of transitioning. 
Should have thought more about that before I went from a 37" chest to 42" (muscle, not boobs)
Who was I? I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Still do. 
It's a very frustrating dilemma. 

I cannot offer any advice because I could never figure it out for myself.
Just wanted to let you know, you are not the only one out there.
Actually, there are many of us out there.
Many of them are not body builders but they struggle with this dual identity.

Karen

Yes for sure. I've always been into fitness. And that's who I am. Fitness is my number one and always will be, which makes it hard for any feminine identity to rise to the surface.