I'd have to tell my wife everything and come out to her and see where we stand. 

Reading your post was like me looking in the mirror.  

Telling my wife after 35 years of marriage was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  But to my surprise she said “as long as we are honest with each other we can get through anything “.  She was so caring and loving, I wish I had done this years ago. Now I am dealing with the guilt for all the lost years of happiness together.
But this outcome is not the norm.  Don’t go on what I say it has to be your decision, but you might be luck like me.

Good luck

Pooky

Pooky, that is beautiful.

404notfound

Thank you so much for the compliment, it means a lot.  I truly believe that the HRT is letting me speak from the heart and not just words from my mouth. I’m thankful every day for this new life, as the old life was a living hell.

Thanks again,

Pooky

I enjoyed reading this thread and I can add my story. I hope that I am not drifting the thread away from anyone.

Yes, I have wanted to be a woman as long as I can remember. I believe that I was meant to be female and should have been born that way. But sometimes the chips fall a different way. I consider myself a transgender woman. There are very few males that I like and to me, most of the world's men suffer from toxic masculinity. I am only part way out of the closet. I would like to be completely out, but I would lose some family that I am not prepared to lose. It is very sad that gender has become such a political football and all the haters have bought into this very toxic thinking. I re-started therapy with a new therapist. When I filled in the paperwork before my first appointment, for gender I put fluid. I am not fluid, altho I guess that I act that way because I am not out. I am going to therapy for a variety of issues and gender is lower on my list. That is why I put fluid. In the end, for a health condition that I have, I will probably never go on HRT or have the surgeries that I would love to have. I do a mild NBE routine which is ok with my doc and medical tests. I have been on this routine for 4 years. It have helped me in my journey profoundly.

Kay Lady

I don’t feel you are off track, if you feel that you need to say something then now is certainly the time and place.

Our lives run a very close parallel.  I’m very lucky, I was able to get HRT without jumping through hoops.
But before I went to the gender affirming clinic, my wife called my primary care doctor and asked if he would oversee my HRT.  She was placed on hold for what seemed to be forever, when the lady returned she said in a very short voice, you will have to go to the state capitol for that stuff.  So now I guess I’ve lost my primary care doctor and I’m sure the cardiologist will be next.

So here we go with the toxic thinking as you stated.  As far as toxic masculinity goes, I also can’t stand to be around men.  Before starting HRT, I didn’t even like myself.  

Good luck on your journey!

Pooky

404notfound

Thank you so much for the compliment, it means a lot.  I truly believe that the HRT is letting me speak from the heart and not just words from my mouth. I’m thankful every day for this new life, as the old life was a living hell.

Thanks again,

Pooky

We all live in cages. Cages inherited from our parents and society. It takes steel to break out of those cages. You're brave, bold, and successful. And you have someone with you on your journey. We should all be so lucky and courageous.

404notfound

Thank you for the very kind words and the encouragement they give.  I’ve got something that very few have. 
She is my best friend, she’s beside me every step.  She brings strength when strength is needed and love and understanding when needed the most.  

She is my wife, and with her we will travel this beautiful journey together.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Pooky

404notfound

Thank you for the very kind words and the encouragement they give.  I’ve got something that very few have. 
She is my best friend, she’s beside me every step.  She brings strength when strength is needed and love and understanding when needed the most.  

She is my wife, and with her we will travel this beautiful journey together.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Pooky

You are indeed lucky, I wish you and your wife all the best

IndustrialD1amond  aka Benji

Yes it’s much easier with my wife being on board.  But we still have the usual bumps in the road just like everyone else’s.  Society, government regulations, and the misinformation about our way of life.  We are not freaks, we caught a bad break at birth.