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Bathroom access for transgender’s in us

#1

Several businesses in the US have gendered neutral bathrooms. 

So how is are the. MTF and FTM  transgender people suppose to approach the bathroom situation when they are dressed in their chosen gender identity in public.

Pooky
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#2

Those exist for automatically outing and thus engdangering everyone using them. Its not inclusive, its othering and transpohibia right there. None of us in their right mind would use those. Why should we? I would never put myself in danger in public just like that... No way, it would make poeple at best treat me like shit, like some "other" alien, a humanoid creature, at worst assault or kill me.

Difference is if establishment only has unisex bathroom which EVERYONE will use, then its ok, but if its some kind of third option, nope nope nope. That wont fly, its like stamping a huge bullseye on us.

Also the thread title isn't the best.... We're not "transgenders", I'm not "a transgender". Its kinda akin to calling what we're doing "transgerism". Ouch. The whole bathroom thing is absolutely ridiculous "dabate" if it can be called that. If things were the way it was, the way it should be, no one would pay attention because we would all be quite stealthy. Its a bigoted chess piece on a political game board we have been forced onto. I'm really worried about this because similar development is happening in my country too. Not to the point of someone planning a theocratic fascism here, but the rhetoric is the same. Bathrooms and sports and kids, that's what they use to scare their vote cattle with.

I'm devils advocate by saying this, if we were like in the old days, these problems wouldn't exist because we were invisible. Most still are where I live. But then again, all this bullshit is rebranded homophobia, same moot fake stupid bullshit talking points, just replace one slur with another and its all there. Bathrooms too, grooming kids, devil worshipping hypersexualised evil predatory stuff. Sound familiar? Its homophobia from few decades ago.

I would refuse using some stupid third option bathroom. For me its ladies or unisex and that's it. People would be weirded out if I did something different as they just see a tall woman.
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#3

Thanks for your input.  This is what I wanted to see.  I know in the US I feel like they have bathroom monitors when they have unisex bathroom.  When I use the unisex bathroom I think to myself who is waiting for me when I come out.  I personally like the idea of all unisex bathroom and changing rooms, but that is not going to happen because of expenses.  So solution is one unisex bathroom and sweep us aside, just like gatekeepers with HRT, and surgery.  I think we can agree that society is pretty good at sweeping.
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#4

I need to be "swept aside" to female everything and that's it. I think its super simple, the whole thing, there are men, women and non binary people. Latter might have a little dilemma on where to end up, but all men and women already know what is their place. Note how I'm not making a difference between cis or trans because it should not matter. At least post transition cis passable men and women aren't any issue to anyone, right? I mean they are just men and women, nobody needs to know, nobody can tell just like that. Rolleyes And even if they can tell, what difference does it make? Respect others, that's all what it should take, but this is what bigoted homophobic fucks forget who nowadays replace homosexuals with trans and non binary folks. The "problem" is same old bigotry more than anything.

In Finland +90% of all public establishments have male and female spaces. The rest have unisex only, note that those are always for a single person only. And there is no problem. Problem only comes up when some hateful idiot brings it up. Bathroom stuff should be the least of the issues about our rights and so on. I think it would be horrible if for some insane reason, I would be forced to use some weird "third option" bathroom. It would immediately put me in danger and out me to everyone present and that's worst I can think of. Imagine the situation, haters with nothing better to do, stalking trans people using the third option bathroom, waiting them to come out to take video/beat up/rape or murder them. I can absolutely see crazy hate crimes happening like this.

Having us forcibly out ourselves is akin to wearing arm bands for nondesireables, for untermensch... Bathrooms first, then what? Repel ID changes, make my "F" marking into an "X" marking or something? This can go 1930's one goosestep at a time really easy if allowed to.
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#5

Simple question not so simple answer.

In the US: When in public dressed as my chosen gender (mtf) how is a person to go to the bathroom safely.  Where I live the law says you use the bathroom that identifies as sex assigned at birth.  You have to have bottom surgery in order to be classified as female. So for males if dressed as female (chosen gender identity) they are to use MENS RESTROOM how is that safe.  Get the shit beat out of you and left.

Use women’s restroom and take the chance of being detected harassed or assaulted by some cis woman’s husband.

Unisex bathroom might be your choice but you might be scrutinized followed harassed. If the restroom is even available.

What is the safest solution go to the bathroom in between parked cars and take a chance on being arrested, assaulted.

I see no simple answer does someone have one?

Don’t say get the law changed, I have to pee now.
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#6

(15-05-2024, 08:26 PM)Pooky Wrote:  Several businesses in the US have gendered neutral bathrooms. 

Haven't seen one of these.  Have seen alot of businesses going to private/unisex bathrooms tho.  Mostly restaurants.  It's a change in the right direction, although it can vary between states, municipalities, etc....  
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#7

Maybe I used the wrong terminology.  I will keep it simple.  Bathroom that men or women can use, or male or female can use, or not sex or gender specific.

Wal Mart and Sam’s and some restaurants and rest area have them.

These are the kind I’m referring to.

Just trying to find out what transgenders are supposed to do. I did leave one opinion out and it is probably what society would have us do. (PEE IN OUR CLOTHING)
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#8

Hello from California where we have West Hollywood and San Francisco and Laguna Beach a high population of LGBTQ+ people. California occupancy law required establishments over 10 occupancies to have gender neutral bathrooms. Some old establishments have grandfathered in old rules. In my town there is a large transitioning center at Mission Hospital. Folks in my support group do their transition in town living and working their gender. I worked at schools and universities with gender neutral bathrooms long before this. My principal is a FTM transgender. Also we have three genders on the Driver's License M F and Nonbinary.
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#9

(16-05-2024, 07:31 PM)Pooky Wrote:  Simple question not so simple answer.

In the US: When in public dressed as my chosen gender (mtf) how is a person to go to the bathroom safely.  Where I live the law says you use the bathroom that identifies as sex assigned at birth.  You have to have bottom surgery in order to be classified as female. So for males if dressed as female (chosen gender identity) they are to use MENS RESTROOM how is that safe.  Get the shit beat out of you and left.

Use women’s restroom and take the chance of being detected harassed or assaulted by some cis woman’s husband.

Unisex bathroom might be your choice but you might be scrutinized followed harassed. If the restroom is even available.

What is the safest solution go to the bathroom in between parked cars and take a chance on being arrested, assaulted.

I see no simple answer does someone have one?

Don’t say get the law changed, I have to pee now.

Transgender/sex women are not men dressed as women. Dodgy

But I get your point, most trans WOMEN do not pass for a cis woman. A lot of them never will and too many seem like they're not doing the hard work and put in the effort. It becomes super duper over the top simple if things would be like the old days, that becoming cis passable and assimilating. There is no problem if they pass better, but that does not remove the problem which isn't non passing trans women, its DISCRIMIATION and shitty attitudes, because we keep being called "men who play dress up". That's the real problem.

The answer is, for non passing trans women, non passing trans men too! And to non binary folks who look way too androgynous in some way, there is nothing safe.

Best solutions, end fucking dumb fuck discrimination, because why not accept us for who we are? But as that wont be happening anyway, 1.) Encourage everybody to become cis passable, problem solved when nobody knows. 2.) make all bathrooms unisex/single person only. This obviously wont be happening because in all properties its not even possible to do. 3.) Don't give a shit who shits in the bathroom you go to as they likely know where to go.

Or why not just end discrimination, end transphobia and all our troubles melt away. That can only happen when young people know better and stupid old farts let their lead brains take them the way of dodo.

Btw, funny thing about bringing "law" into the bathroom "debate". At least in Finland, there is not a single law which would say which bathroom we have to use, that's left for us to decide by using a bit of common sense. Since when bathroom stuff is "law" and its a crime to go to a "wrong" one? If that's the case in USA, then USA is even more stupid I ever thought it would. That's some real fascist shit quite literally. Dodgy
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#10

(17-05-2024, 02:48 AM)Pooky Wrote:  Maybe I used the wrong terminology.  I will keep it simple.  Bathroom that men or women can use, or male or female can use, or not sex or gender specific.

Wal Mart and Sam’s and some restaurants and rest area have them.

These are the kind I’m referring to.

Just trying to find out what transgenders  are supposed to do.  I did leave one opinion out and it is probably what society would have us do.  (PEE IN OUR CLOTHING)

Second time because this pisses me off, we are not "transgenders", a transsexual woman is not "a transgender". Its used as an adjective, not a noun. Calling us transgenders is othering language and wrong use of the word.

This is what's kinda wrong with a lot of peoples thinking and the language used in wrong way brings it out. Transsex or transgender describes what kind of a person it is that we're talking about rather than being some "other", weird third option humanoid alien. Transition should mean change from one to another, in our case from a man to a woman, it is a phase which clear beginning and a goal. When its done, transition is done and the "trans" stops existing as it means change from something to something. Now people have took it up as an identity, saying it lasts forever and literally becoming something other than...

Its not right and calling us transgenders kinda enforces that other thinking. I sure as hell am not "a transgender", hell no, transition is a phase and transsex/gender is just a word to describe that phase.

I don't usually like to dig into semantics like this or nitpick, but this is a massive problem, the othering language which isn't describing things correctly is what keeps encouraing discriminating us, othering us and making problem from such things as who's using which bathroom. Language carries ideas and that's why its important. And I certainly don't like all the newspeak stuff either. Like how I think transsexual or just transsex is far better for describing us than transgender. (The entire gender/sex divide does not exist in my language as there's one word for it.) Until somebody decided that the transition only covers gender/aesthetic or something which I think is total bullshit, the whole social construct crap is a big mistake. Its like diluting us into something easier to discriminate against, make us look like weirdos and perverts, make us into something that can be targeted with rebranded homophobia and use the social construct strawman to deny us from getting help and make problems with bathrooms and sports and what ever people can make into a problem.
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