[Heaven's Night]

I'm quoting Stevenator from another thread:

I deleted 99% of my photos about a month ago in disgust at how creepy this board has become.

Breast Nexum is for assisting genetic males with the science of growing breasts. In the last many several months, this board has devolved into nonstop fetishism and open fantasizations and quite frankly it's disgusting.

We now seem to have a growing community of perverts that completely detract from the purpose of this board. More than once on my main thread I've had too many outright sexual comments directed at me and that just pisses me off.

I share this sentiment. I have gazillion pictures up here and I don't like the fact they're being downloaded like crazy, used for what purpose? Creeps adding them to their wankaroo picture collection no doubt. I've had moments when I want to leave because of too many creeps posting openly misogynistic, degrating pervy fetish stuff over here. And picture spam, there's a place for it, personal program threads and relevant threads on adult only subforum which is THE place for NSFW posts. Stay fucking civil about it, its not that difficult! NSFW pics in personal program threads are fine when they're relevant to body change progress and such, that's cool. Adult only forum threads are also cool, but that's it. In my opinion of course, who am I to judge?

Except that I don't like to keep posting on a forum which is fine about being almost openly self made porn fetish stuff, posting stuff which is absolutely misogynistic and draws directly from an industry which openly degrades women and makes intersex/trans women like me into glorified sex toys. I'm not cool with that. Its not fun. There are plenty of better platforms for fetish content and NSFW stuff and even BN has a dedicated subforum for it. BN has always been friendly and easy to approach place with most people being open minded and cool and the thing I've liked the most here is the emphasis on breast development, science behind it, rather than being a porn forum for picture spamming and circle wanking for pervy men.

Can it stay that way? Can all the good qualities of this forum prevail and Fetlife stuff stay in Fetlife? Feel free to discuss and don't crucify me for bringing this up, there's a growing sentiment about it going on lately.

[tomi66]

I completely concur DiDi. I don't think I could add much to what you said.

I found this form because I was looking for ways to enhance my feminine side and to see if my moobs could look more like breasts. I don't mind reading a little background information about how we got here. But I didn't come here to learn about someone's sexual desires and fetishes. What I and I don't want to speak for others, is a body disforyia.

There are a plethora of NSFW sites that people can post their sexual desires on all day and all night long. Most of us are here to learn and share our experiences with NBE and HRT, to encourage each other and find the body we feel comfortable in. When we post pics it's because we want to show progress not to be ogeled at.

Please let's keep BN threads pertinent to the subject header.

[Benizake]

Yes ma'am! Let's throw those rapscallions off the planks and right back to the bottom of the sea, right where they belong.
   

[Heaven's Night]

When a bunch of regulars are getting annoyed, then there's a problem.  

I'm also personally extremely repulsed by how overly hypersexual a lot of the entire LGBT scene is, trans spaces in particular. Its just repulsive when I'm trying to have discussion about other subjects and then there's the super mega horny sex in everything on hyperdrive kinda people around. This isn't typically a problem on BN which is why I like it here.

Also a lot of fetish stuff is absolutely degrading and misgynistic which I find repulsive as well. I don't care about the reasons why people on the forum are growing boobs, we're super diverse here and that's a strength, another is how this forum is so focused on what makes our bodies work and grow breasts and so on, I don't want this become another Ainterol forum or Noogleberry forum or I could keep listing other places with very different focus than our lovely little corner of the internet.

[Stevenator_]

Fetish content that is starting to propagate is just creepy and downright gross. Breast Nexum is not a Fantasy Forum!

[CM213]

I agree, and I blame the porn industry. People use porn instead of having real relationships and intimacy with their loved one. It completely destroys their mental ability to form intamate relationships, And eventually they get so desensitized they find higher levels of fetish of pornography which eventually leads them to the fem boy, trans, forced feminized sissy categories, and they end up believing that's what they want to become.

This is one thing that I struggled with. Not porn itself but it gave me doubts as to if I was really trans or not. I'd be lying if I said I didnt watch my fair share of porn (of all categories), and it almost ruined my marriage, I have intimacy issues, and it really caused me to be un able to form meaningful relationships. It was addicting. And I eventually came to the trans porn, sissy kink, fem boy categories (and I don't want to offend anyone if I do I apologize, I am sorry but that's what they're commonly referred to as) and I caused me to doubt myself in terms of am I real trans, or is this the result of years of watching pornography. 

I eventually came to the realization that before I had ever seen any porn of any kind, as a child I was already wanting to be a girl, I was already praying to God to allow me to wake up a girl. 

Porn has a way of alternating a person mind and the reality they live in especially the more they watch and obviously achieve a "release" from it.

[tomi66]

Well said CM213.

It's funny how we find we have some things in common. I remember when I was little, I would rather play with girls. When we went to pur cousins, I would play dolls with my girl cousin while my brother was out playing with my older cousin, it may have been an age thing, my brother and older cousin were the same age and I was the same age as my girl cousin. I also remember praying to be a girl, then when I was 12 something bad happened to me and shame set in and I completely stopped trusting men, and relationships were tough because I became a hopeless alcoholic, that screwed me up for years.

About 13 years ago I came to terms with a lot of things, including my gender disforyia, for lack of a better term.

That's my back story. Happily married now, my wife knows about my past and loves me for who I am, we even get our nails done together, I wish we could clothes shop together but shopping stresses her out. So I shop alone, I can get her to the bra store sometimes but that's about it.

[CM213]

What probably doesn't help us is that we have an adult only, and trash can only section of this forum ( which i literally just saw for the first time), which allows certain members to post about the topics and discuss the things mentioned previously in this thread. I'm am not surprised to see who has made most of the recent topics in those sub categories, and who has responded to them... 

Again I rest my case, about how porn has ruined a lot of peoples minds, and I'd even go as far as how it has ruined the world and society. How women are viewed as sex objects, or even in the sissy categories that yes are about men being forced to be feminine but it still reinforces the fact that anyone feminine (both female or male and or anything in between ) or anyone that act or has feminine manners will be viewed and treated only as an object to satisfy a man's needs at the end of the day.

I wonder how many people would stop being feminine or a sissy or what ever it is that they're into if they stopped watching porn or listening to hypno or what ever it is that is stimulating that fantasy of theirs.... 

That's one thing I forced myself to do. I wanted to be sure that the things I was thinking about and feeling about wanting to be a woman, weren't just the after affects of being exposed to porn. And guess what. Like I said earlier it didn't. Yes somethings subsided. I was actually able to have a closer relationship with my wife and more intamate moments with her, since I wasn't doing things on my own by myself. But the fact remained, I still wanted to be a woman, long before I was ever exposed to porn.

[Stevenator_]

The "Trash Can" is usually the depository of offending posts that the Admin Eve prunes from user threads.

When someone gets out of line, she'll delete their offensive post and deposit the said-post in the Trash Can.
___________

One thing to remember, is we collectively have a power, of sorts here.

We can pretty much agree what content does and does not belong on BN. If you see any post on BN that breaks forum rules, is inappropriate content, spam, etc., then you can report the post by clicking the megaphone below that post.

When the offending member/s gets X-amount of reports by X-amount of members, and these two combined numbers reach a certain threshold set-forth by the Admin of this website, then the offending member is automatically banned.

This feature is sort of a hands-off approach by the website admin that pretty much lets us police ourselves.

[Heaven's Night]

The reporting function has one flaw, it could be used to brigade on a user, I mean it could be used by trolls to try to get someone banned... But I wonder if there's a failsafe on the system? I know admin can deal with this stuff, but Eve isn't online all the time. Very unlikely problem as BN is such a tiny forum though.

Anyway, what CM said about porn rot, I couldn't agree more... Porn addiction is absolute mind poison, I know, I've been there and I never went as bad as I know a lot of others have. Maybe because I never lost touch with reality and have had a bunch of very satisfying and happy relationships, so something kept me touching grass all those years. I know now that I was looking for myself from my girlfriends, from sex and porn and all that stuff. And it became blatantly clear later down the road that porn is misogyny and the industry is horrible, its based on traifficing, exploitation and rape on camera sold as something totally ok. There's no way to even tell who's a trafficing victim and who isn't. None of that is "ethical" as there's no way to really know if it is.

Also the way how a lot of this fetish contect is absolutely insulting to me as a woman. Holy fucking shit, people take my struggles and make them into a fetish! A cool little fucking hobby! This is where I have a dilemma about BN forum, its some times difficult to be ok with dudes growing boobs for fetish reasons. Mostly its fine, some times lines are crossed. Its fine if they get off of it in their own little bubble, but when I see it being rubbed on my face it starts to annoy and insult... Btw, funny thing, have you checked out Breasstnexus? The women's side of the forum? There is ZERO fetish talk there, ZERO, NONE, NADA, ZIP. Why is that? Why aren't random women over there talking about fetishes and being hypersexual? Maybe because they know how degrading and misogynistic most of it is and they rarely suffer from porn induced brainrot.

For me this is extremely stressful to be exposed to, because I used to be a porn addict, T dominance totally messed up my mind and sexuality and I'm afraid I've caused some permanent damage to my mind with it. I'm trying to heal and get away from all that as far as possible... And definitely don't want to feel objectified and degraded (Not directly, doesn't matter, it hurts the same.) on BN forum of all places.