[Tommie]

First of all, I am so happy I found this great forum, realizing I am not the only male who like and grow breasts as a male.
My problem is that I go on and off all the time. Some weeks or even months I am totally dedicated to grow as much and fast as possible. Then all of a sudden I get serious doubts and quit same day. I was on a several months growing period, then August 1st doubts hit ne hard and I stopped. I even got rid of all my supplies of herbs and E along with all my bras and panties. I was totally sure that I was done with breast growing and feminization. But again, last weekend September 3rd my brain changed mode again. Same day I ordered FG, PM, RR, Dong Quai and day after Oestrogel. Now I am on day 2 of Oestrogel and FG, and researching for the perfect bra. 
I have been like this for about 2 years, developed from flat to AA-cups. And this week I am totally devoted to grow my boobs as big as they can genetically get. But I know that I probably will get the doubts again sooner rather than later. 
Does anyone else here have similar on-off route, and how do you manage it?
Any advice is most helpful and welcome!

[Stevenator_]

It sounds like what you're describing is "The Purge". I went through it three times in the beginning, throwing away $$$ worth of herbs.

I wish I knew a better explanation to even describe this, but I do think it's an E vs T back & forth battle going on.

Thankfully, I toughed it out in the end and started a dedicated program. That was 8.5 years ago haha.

[Tommie]

Thanks Stevenator!
The Purge, ok, its good to put a name of it. 
For every on- period the boobs get a little bigger, and point of no return closer. 
For now, I am all in and hope it lasts. I really really love my small boobs and wish them to continue growing.

[CM213]

I think it's normal to have doubts. Everyone gets them form time to time. 

You ha e to ask why did I start or why I am doing this. Maybe do a pro vs con list. 

There's many ways to combat doubt. 

But purging is a cycle. And it can last for many years until you finally find who you are and what you want and what your goals are. 

Most people purge bc they feel ashamed or have guilt for one reason or another. Especially if its growing breast, cross dressing or even trying to transition in secret. All purging does is waste more time and more money. But it's hard to break free from those cycles. 

There are a lot of articles on how to deal with doubts online, and how to stop purging as well.

Dr z on YouTube talks about doubts and purging, however she uses it in terms of people who crossdress, are trans, and or non binary, as well as a few other categories of individuals. She has many topics that are very useful and helpful. 

Sometimes all we need to do is talk about how we feel and why we are having doubts and have another person say that doesn't make sense you just answered your own question, or give us a different perspective. 

Here is a link about how to combat doubts, but it is speaking in terms for someone who is transitioning. But the concepts are the same either way to deal with your.doubts

https://www.transhub.org.au/changing-you...-by-others

[Tommie]

Thank you so much CM! 
Great thoughts and suggestions!
Yes I am here and doing what Iam doing for a reason, not just by co-incidence. 
I will follow the link you provided, thanks again!

[Karen Hart]

I don't even want to think about how many times I have purged, maybe ten? It comes with the territory.
It's traumatic. It makes no sense. I have lost a lot of money and a lot of clothing that I cherished.

Karen 

[Heaven's Night]

Yea, thats purging... I've had episodes like that too, in the end everything became so glaringly obvious there was no reason to hesitate any longer. I already did that for too long time and felt it was too late. Procastrinating on this stuff for years only stole those years away from me. Although for me I didn't lose much else than time as once I started to really act upon it, I'm still on the way without a pause.

[Tommie]

I don't even want to think about how many times I have purged, maybe ten? It comes with the territory.
It's traumatic. It makes no sense. I have lost a lot of money and a lot of clothing that I cherished.

Karen 

Hi Karen, yes money waisted over and over again. But that I can live with, irs the sudden swings in my mind thats difficult for me to cope with. 
Now Im five days into my restart after five weeks break uo. I does feel wonderful, already I can feel that something is happening in my breasts, they got deflated during the break but now they start to inflate again and are very sensitive. Amazing how quick the body responds after break, like the receptors were only waiting to get fed again! This time I will manage possible doubts, thanks to all of you kind people on BN.

[Vana_B]

Amazing how quick the body responds after break, like the receptors were only waiting to get fed again! This time I will manage possible doubts, thanks to all of you kind people on BN.

I have been through this many times.  Throw everything away, only to reorder everything again several months later.   

It's taken me a few years,  but now I have a clearer idea of where I am going.   Now that I have decided my NBE goals,   I don't feel the need to throw things away.    I'm one of the strange people that wants to remain '100% man' socially,  but with modest breasts, big sensitive nipples/areolas, and even some curves on my hips and butt. ( is that still 100% male? lol )  

My purges have become 'taking a break', as I already have a start back time frame in mind when I quit.  Typically 3 months out.   This gives my body time to recover it's T levels and build back muscle I lose when on NBE.  I have no intent to transition, so I do this to stay in the male camp.    I tend to be all or nothing with NBE,  so if I don't take breaks the results would become far too obvious to hide.  Each time, I take it just a bit further before I panic and feel then need to stop. 

Every break I take, my chest and nipples become smaller and less sensitive within weeks.   It is amazing how quickly they respond once I start back.  Seriously,  I gain back a cup size in a week and my nipples on display through any shirts.  They go from 'feeling nice' to 'orgasm' good that quickly.   Every time I quit,  I always look forward to the day I will be starting back.

[CM213]

Dang I knew this was going to happen. 

Now I'm in complete self denial and doubt about everything... 

Having doubt is good to an extent, it helps us question truth and seek truth to self discovery, but I feel my doubt has now gone from a healthy doubt to a obsessive one... 

I'm sure I'll overcome it in a few days or maybe weeks max , buts it's definitely making me confused and considering of pausing nbe at the moment.