[wee2er]

A great suggestion by HN, it helped me but I didn't / don't record the minute details, just regimes, and basic measurements. You could keep it all and any progress pics in a secure folder on your phone, locked away from prying eyes.

You are doing brilliant if you are seeing those waist / hips ratio change so quickly, you'll find male trousers more ill-fitting as you go along, although a decent belt helps LOL.

I've always worn women jeans / chinos / leggings / shorts and I've found that they keep on fitting better as I progress on E. You'll be better off at some stage buying womens.

Personally, I'd stay on BO with the HRT, although if you want to be scientific you could do HRT without BO for a while, then add BO.

Good luck with it all.

[CM213]

Well BN universe I took my first shot of estrogen last night. And as I expected I didn't really feel anything or notice anything other than the normal act of sticking a foreign metal object into my body.  Lol

I must say I definitely did not miss giving myself injections when I used to be on steroids. At least so far until my doctor changes it my injection protocol is once every 14 days which is a very low dose and I'm sure I'll have mood swings but I guess that's the territory in the name of the game. I remember having to pin myself two or three times a week on certain steroid cycles depending on what my goals were and what I was using at the time. 

And I have been off using steroids since April so it's been a nice break of not having the anxiousness and anxiety of preparing a shot and then trying to inject myself in the appropriate places and areas and hoping I don't hit a muscle knot or cramp up trying to perform the actual act of injecting the hormone into myself. 

So yeah I will have to pay attention to how I'm feeling over the next few days to see if my mood or attitude changes in a way that is outside of the norm. And I did not experience any dreams after taking my Estrogen either which I'm not sure if that's normal or not but when I was taking testosterone usually I would have a dream that I can remember the same night after I took the shot of testosterone so we will see how estrogen affects my dream cycles. 

After some reflection I think I'm not going to completely abandon nbe supplements. I think I'm going to continue to use bovine ovary at a lower dose and continue to use rishi and MSM but only at the recommended doses on the bottles since I'm getting my t-blocker from Spyro. 

Hopefully the continued use of nbe along with HRT won't make me gain an excessive amount of weight. I've always struggled with my weight and body image issues which is probably why I became a bodybuilder and got on steroids for as long as I was. So if I feel like I'm not able to control my weight while on nbe and HRT then I will probably drop the bovine ovary out of the program and see if my weight management becomes more under control or if it's just what it's going to be and how I'm going to be on estrogen. 

Other than that I don't plan on buying any new clothes just yet since my body is just beginning to change I'm not quite out of men's pants but women's pants aren't quite feeling good either so I'm going to hold off for now on starting to add a new wardrobe to my closet. I'm only going to buy things as I feel I need them if I feel I need to try and hide breast development that I'm going to buy some sports bras or something to flatten my chest out until it gets to a point to where I can't hide the obvious even with sports bras and banding or I'll start buying women's pants once they start to fit better than men's pants. But I honestly feel women's pants will always not feel quite right until I have a woman's body down there and by that I mean having surgery to remove the excess baggage between my legs which is what women's clothing is designed for. 

So yeah that's all I really have to say for an update. Also I apologize if there are any mistakes or grammatical errors or something that doesn't quite sound right when you read this I'm using talk to text to write this so there may be some things that don't quite read correctly due to my phone making certain assumptions of what words it's thinking I'm trying to say.

[Heaven's Night]

I don't think you will have any worry about excessive weight gain, you will keep watcing your diet and keep going to gym anyway, good food and staying active will keep you quite lean despite being on HRT and then you should consider doing controlled slow weight cycles so once you're hormone balance settles, you will add some very much wanted female fat deposits. Its really awesome starting point to be really lean and fit btw. Typically those who get the best fat distribution changes to right spots are the ones who either lose or gain quite a bit during transition, so weight cycles can be your friend and exercise and controlled diet will keep it all under control.

I think the injection cycle if ridiculously long and makes no sense, other than giving a cautious approach on how it makes you feel. That should be changed as on EV much shorter cycles work the best.

If anything comes up you need help with, you know where to find me.

[Stevenator_]

Good luck going forward. It'll take some time before changes are completely obvious. I'm still in male mode in public, with no plans on changing that. Even if one day I have to rely on compression shirts, etc. My point is you've got plenty of time going forward to figure that out.

What Lara said about diet & exercise is correct. It's my opinion that exercise is the #1 guarantee for a successful program.

This injection simulator will give you an idea about your levels over time. I agree with Lara that every 14 days is ridiculously long. Hopefully your doctor will change that soon.

Best of Luck to You.

https://transfemscience.org/misc/injecta...simulator/

[CM213]

Thanks everyone for the support and words of encouragement.

[wee2er]

Fantastic news CM ad well done.

It is a bit daunting when you self-inject, I've just done my weekly stabbing and for some reason got quite tensed up just before the 'little scratch' , no idea why?

Like Lara and Stevenenator have said that cycle is overly long, but also depends on how much you are injecting and the concentration, but it's probably a safe starting point.

I'd say continue with some of the NBE like BO, and would highly recommend adding the topical regime as it does work 

As for lower surgery, I'm male staying male so will never consider that, however I do love leggings, skinny jeans etc and hate seeing a bulge. I did try a few gaffs but what I find is much better and cheaper are male dance belts, the thin padded thong versions as these smooth everything and leave no vpl.

Good luck

[CM213]

Thanks Wee2er

Yea. I'm not sure how far or how much I will transition. Just going to do what I need to feel right what ever that ends up being. What I think I may need/want now may and probably will change as I continue down this path. 

I know like you I love to wear women's clothing when I can and seeing a bulge or seeing that the clothing doesn't quite fit since I don't have the female body is a point of stress and body image related depression.  I have used gafs and tucking tape which did allow the clothing to fit the way it should. 

Unfortunately like many who transition I don't have the financial means to get surgeries that would make me feel more at home in my body and also allow me to pass more successfully in public. 

So we will see how hormones affect me and if I feel I need to do anything more. Hopefully if I feel I need more I will be in a better place financially to do what ever those things are. 

If after this initial trial period on hormones I feel that this is the right path for me and transitioning is right for me that I'm giving myself a goal of being as passable and transitioned in all aspects of my life within 5 years from when I decide 100% transition is my path. I don't feel that is super unrealistic time frame but it also keeps me from procrastinating and pushing things off because they're hard or uncomfortable things to do. And like I said hopefully at some point within that 5-year time frame I'll be financially able to cover whatever surgeries I may need or want or have better insurance that will cover those as well. I'm not holding my breath on the insurance with the current state of politics in America, so I'll have to rely on having the money to do whatever I can that the VA won't cover.

[wee2er]

Hi CM,

That is definitely the right approach... 'Just going to do what I need to feel right what ever that ends up being.'

For me this journey wasn't about breasts and body feminisation it was actually a need to get rid of T that was causing me a cyclic 2 weeks of hell which I found AA and latterly E got rid of. Then the boobs started growing along with the other usual HRT changes that all felt wonderful, but I soon realised curves on top needed complementary curves down below. 

However, I've never wanted to or desired to transition and live my life as a woman, I'm a bit of an outlier I suppose, but I'm resolutely male staying male who just runs far better on E.

It's only right to think about the long-term and your goals, in fact I think its so important to do so, knowing where you are going really helps you decide on the steps to get there.

I posted (maybe on another forum?) some time ago about my long-term thoughts and the best way I found to describe my journey was that I had boarded a train but at first didn't know exactly where the destination station was.
I knew and am know certain that I will never be calling at the MTF/transition station or any other for that matter, so my journey will be, health permitting, an everlasting ride on the male staying male - HRT train for the rest of my days. 

I know its easy for me to say, but the bulge is what it is, thankfully it has never cause me any stress, it was a case of it just doesn't look right, but I certainly understand how it causes you stress. Again easy for me, as I've never dressed to pass I'm always male regardless of what I'm wearing leggings, skirts, the odd dress, dungarees, painted nails, etc.

The good thing for you is that a decent HRT regime will inevitably shrink everything down below. (Mine have - the only real downside of HRT!)

I really wouldn't create any stress thinking about surgeries at this stage simply because as you progress, shrinkage will occur and it'll be far easier to hide the bulge, apparently wearing two lots of stretchy knickers that are a size or two smaller works well for many.

I agree your 5-yr goal is realistic, but what I'd suggest is breaking it down into sizeable and achievable chunks.

Maybe a good short term goal is to develop your feminine style and demeanour, don't fret if you pass or not pass - I think a lot of it is in our minds, self-confidence is a very powerful and real thing that people do pick up on. Conversely, people pick on worry, nervousness, uncertainty etc, so be confident and strut your stuff 

Then maybe a good mid term goal is to proactively put in changes that would allow you to get better insurance, maybe a career change, or add income via a hobby or create a side busienss, etc. I'm a firm believer that everyone can improve their lot, it just takes the balls and conviction to change things.

What's important is don't procrastinate about the now, instead flip it on its head and make positive changes with achievable goals.

This is what I did after a life changing illness, so now self-employed with multiple income streams (OK I'm never going to be a millionaire  ) but know where I'm heading and have already achieved some of my goals.

Then your 5yr long term goal is, if it's right for you, transitioned and by the changes you've actively made, living as the female you always wanted to be   

I know my views are a little off centre with me being male staying male but do hope my ramblings are of some help.

Always happy to chat here or on PM, good luck.

[CM213]

@wee2er thanks for the great advice.

[CM213]

I had my second laser hair removal appointment yesterday. It went okay. The laser seem to have left red bumps all over my arms and a few spots on my torso. The closest thing I can kind of compare it to is like razor burn but without the irritation. They were more predominant yesterday and have somewhat faded or dissipated but they're still clearly there.

I also tried doing my neckline and working into my face but my face/neck line was pretty painful. And after having an hour session of doing my arms torso and chest I didn't want to try to endure having my face done as well. So I'll probably hold off on my face or do it when I'm only doing my face versus multiple body parts at the same time.

I thought I had a higher tolerance for pain but there's something about that laser that really hurts like a mofo. But then just as quick as the pain is there the pain is gone. So I don't know.

I guess my main concern would be any kind of skin sensitivity and irritation caused by the laser that would be left on my face and if I have a bunch of red bumps left on my face like my arms I'm probably not likely to move further with it. So we'll see how these red bumps go away with time on my arms.

The first session there were no red bumps left afterwards so I don't know if the first time wasn't as good or it's just that my body is now reacting to the laser whereas the first time my body was adapting to something new.