I have recently metioned that there is a "Trannier than thou" attitude from some members of the forum. I have first used that term many years ago, and the need for it seems to go in cycles and circles so, just to be clear, I think a clarification is due about its meaning.
I am quite steadily in the "male staying male" group. It's the group of cis males (males who do not want to transition) who want to grow boobs. The reason why I want to grow breasts is not important here. The point is that for reasons connected to my own feelings, my psyche, my circumstances, my mindset, my upbringong, my political choices, my family, my age, the people around me, etc... I don't want or can't transition. It's not laziness or unwillingness to challenge stereotypes, I am just happy being "a guy", but I want boobs. It's my choice, I don't push it on others, and I only ask that it is respected.
I see a lot of other people around here in the same situation and with the same mindset, and I respect them. I also see a lot of trangender women pre/mid/post medical/social transition who feel that they should be seen as women or that they were always women inside. I do not dispute this and I acknowledge them as the women they are. I have no problem with that and I don't see why they should have a problem with me, yet...
There are a few people around here that believe that if you want boobs, then you are trans*. They think they know better and that if you have not realised it, it's only because you "are not there yet", "have internalised transphobia" or "are just lying about yourself". They think they know better because they have found out and accepted that THEY are trans (gender) so they believe that they can teach you how you should feel because they are "trannier than you". (My own definition. You can also use "more Enlightened" if you prefer)
Where and when does this attitute come out? It comes out when it goes from "Do you feel you should transition?" to "You should really tell your wife!". It emerges when you go from "Have you started doing herbs?" to "Drop the herbs, call the doc, and get on pharma HRT!".
Many guys join BreatNexum because they just want boobs. The purpose of this forum is to inform people on how to achieve that. While the forum is technically for genetic males, what is important is that we share tips and tricks on how to grow breasts, not on how we should feel about it. It is true that many, yet not most, of the members of this forum have decided to transition, and that breast growth for them was just a gateway to discovering their true self, but whenever I see that someone pushes their transgenderism on other people I think they commit the sin of misgendering the other person. I seriously do consider transgender people brave and strong for going through many different levels of adversity and pain to be recognised as their true self, but I also believe that there is a real struggle for guys who want to have some feminine attributes without transitioning and they should not be made to feel any less valid than a transgender person or than a "typical male" person. This forum should make us all feel like we are on the same level, and not that there are people that should feel less entitled to grow breasts because they are not transitioning.
Some of us don't have access to HRT. Some will not even be able to buy herbs off Amazon or Ebay. Some of use will have issues getting their parcels delivered. Some will be living with conservative parents and some will have yet to decide what they want to do. This forum exists because we want to make the most of what is available. We all know that HRT is the best way, apart from surgery, to get boobs, but not all of us can or want to go down that path.
So, please, drop the "trannier than thou" attitude. Being transgender, having done HRT, should not make you feel like royalty here. It should just mean that you have been down that path and that you can speak from experience from it. It's not a coat of royalty. There are many people around here who are just starting their journey and their way, whichever it is and wherever it takes, is valid. We are all at the same level, and we are all here to share our story, not to impose our way on others.
I hope this clarified my words once and for all.
I am quite steadily in the "male staying male" group. It's the group of cis males (males who do not want to transition) who want to grow boobs. The reason why I want to grow breasts is not important here. The point is that for reasons connected to my own feelings, my psyche, my circumstances, my mindset, my upbringong, my political choices, my family, my age, the people around me, etc... I don't want or can't transition. It's not laziness or unwillingness to challenge stereotypes, I am just happy being "a guy", but I want boobs. It's my choice, I don't push it on others, and I only ask that it is respected.
I see a lot of other people around here in the same situation and with the same mindset, and I respect them. I also see a lot of trangender women pre/mid/post medical/social transition who feel that they should be seen as women or that they were always women inside. I do not dispute this and I acknowledge them as the women they are. I have no problem with that and I don't see why they should have a problem with me, yet...
There are a few people around here that believe that if you want boobs, then you are trans*. They think they know better and that if you have not realised it, it's only because you "are not there yet", "have internalised transphobia" or "are just lying about yourself". They think they know better because they have found out and accepted that THEY are trans (gender) so they believe that they can teach you how you should feel because they are "trannier than you". (My own definition. You can also use "more Enlightened" if you prefer)
Where and when does this attitute come out? It comes out when it goes from "Do you feel you should transition?" to "You should really tell your wife!". It emerges when you go from "Have you started doing herbs?" to "Drop the herbs, call the doc, and get on pharma HRT!".
Many guys join BreatNexum because they just want boobs. The purpose of this forum is to inform people on how to achieve that. While the forum is technically for genetic males, what is important is that we share tips and tricks on how to grow breasts, not on how we should feel about it. It is true that many, yet not most, of the members of this forum have decided to transition, and that breast growth for them was just a gateway to discovering their true self, but whenever I see that someone pushes their transgenderism on other people I think they commit the sin of misgendering the other person. I seriously do consider transgender people brave and strong for going through many different levels of adversity and pain to be recognised as their true self, but I also believe that there is a real struggle for guys who want to have some feminine attributes without transitioning and they should not be made to feel any less valid than a transgender person or than a "typical male" person. This forum should make us all feel like we are on the same level, and not that there are people that should feel less entitled to grow breasts because they are not transitioning.
Some of us don't have access to HRT. Some will not even be able to buy herbs off Amazon or Ebay. Some of use will have issues getting their parcels delivered. Some will be living with conservative parents and some will have yet to decide what they want to do. This forum exists because we want to make the most of what is available. We all know that HRT is the best way, apart from surgery, to get boobs, but not all of us can or want to go down that path.
So, please, drop the "trannier than thou" attitude. Being transgender, having done HRT, should not make you feel like royalty here. It should just mean that you have been down that path and that you can speak from experience from it. It's not a coat of royalty. There are many people around here who are just starting their journey and their way, whichever it is and wherever it takes, is valid. We are all at the same level, and we are all here to share our story, not to impose our way on others.
I hope this clarified my words once and for all.
