[EmilyAngelina]

I've been taking herbal hormones for a little over a year and a half (with breaks every so often). but I need to actually go a little bit before that to say what I want to say.

[writers note if you want to get straight to the point I will do an out line at the end of the major points so you can skip the /*rambling*/ if you really want to.]

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I always knew that I didn't fit in with societal standards for either gender, but I tried anyway (no I am not going to give yet another TS story). Fast forward to college where I met back up with my now girlfriend of 5 years, we've actually known each other for almost our entire lives but that is beside the point of bringing here up, and about a few months into our relationship I took a human sexuality class. One of the topics that is typically gone over in that class is gender, and the teacher had both sides of the TS spectrum (MTF, FTM) come in to the class, and speak on what it meant for them to be TS. I actually could relate parts of my learning and understanding of life to both of their stories, and so I gently brought the topic up to my girlfriend who actually was quite supportive of me (mainly at the time she said that it was because she was bi- but we both now know a little better then that now) on the topic, as long as I didn't go blindly jumping head first into a major change.

That is when I started doing research on the topic of what it all entailed beyond what the class taught on the topic. I ended up with about a few dozen books directly related to the topic, and few real answers that relate to me directly, as I knew that I still wasn't like many of the stories in the books, and I also felt really offended/disgusted when it came to the concept of changing genitalia. So I did even more reading and stumbled on first a book titled “the lazy crossdresser” and then a blog that is no longer operational http://malebreastenlargement.blogspot.com/ (the link no longer goes there sorry, just siting source) and I realized that I wanted breasts .

But my girlfriend actually convinced me of something that in hindsight was really good advice (based somewhat on the “Harry Benjamin … Standards of Care”, and I wanted her to read on the subject what she felt comfortable with) of 'if you want to grow your own permanent breast then at least spend some time in the world with them to see if people can accept you with them, and to see that it is really what you want.” and it just so happened that we were going to take a post college graduation trip to Oregon to a convention and so I was going to try at that point, and sense I knew that I really didn't want to be a complete women I just got a hold of some breast forms (size B as that is the size that in my mind I would have been happy with) and an appropriate bra for them. When I tried it on at home instead of feeling nervous like I had expected I instead felt almost “whole” inside, but I quickly realized while trying some of my shirts on (I never cared for the skin tight look, and always liked kind of loose fits) that there was no way I could hide the breasts if I ever had that size (surprisingly enough just the next day "Hiding Your Breasts When They Get Big Enough to Notice" was put up on http://malebreastenlargement.blogspot.com/ (again does not exist, but upon request, and assuming that a moderator does not message me other wise I will be willing to post a copy of the article that I have saved on my hard-drive), and went with the jacket (coat) option, but I quickly realized that those that did notice didn't really care. Accept a few that I will apologize to in advance the extremely religious as once they realized that I had a beard shadow and breasts tried to interrogate me on morality of going against god's design a few I told that it was a glandular issue and then seemed to apologize. Others who got really high and mighty I told that “it was my choice and that if god really had an issue with it, it should strike me down here, and now” of course nothing happened and they walked away. At the end of the convention I talked with my girlfriend and asked if that was proof enough but instead she still wanted me to continue trying it out. So when I got back home I was already planning to attend another school and decided that that would be a great place to try out daily breast where, and when I did no one cared either way, and after a year my girlfriend finally said that I could go ahead with starting the herbs.

But, not every one has been accepting of a “male” with breasts right away, if not just not caring at all. Some I have had to talk to for some considerable amount of time to get to understand, and others still think that I am sick/crazy/going through a phase/being forced/need extensive psychological work/and my favorite of all) going straight to hell before death (yes, they went there). Again apologize in advance as not all are as follows, but for the most part I have only ever had “issues” with people over the age of 45, or those razed with hardline religious beliefs I still tell them that “if god really has an issue with it then it will be between me and it when I have to be judged, if god even exists of course”
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the facts of TS/TG/CD these are things that I have witnessed first had if not had happen to me and lived:

I will not call it gosspal at all but “Harry Benjamin … Standards of Care” probably had something going when they said try it out first to see if you will be comfortable with it as a permanent thing (while I was researching herbal options, I tried different breast sizes in terms of forms/inserts and found the range of growth that I would be happy attaining and that overshooting a little would be okay too)

do your homework before making drastic permanent changes to your body, and know the side effects before taking anything. (I went through 3 different herbal products before finding one I was not allergic to, and works)

realize that if you need to hide your breast for some reason or another (with for warning of course) know you have options, kinda.

If people figure you out, you better both be ready to defend yourself morally/emotionally/(hopefully not but also)physically

there are ignorant people out there that may try to hurt you if they find out that that person in the dress is actually a man, or that, that guy over there has breasts. In these cases crowds are good if they do not all share the same demographic (if you are surrounded by red-necks and someone figures you out be ready for a fight, and not a fare one either), I am not saying be completely paranoid, but know your escape routs, figure out how many of them you stand a chance against before you “have” to run, and remember just because they are law enforcement they shouldn't but can ignore your pleas for assistance (so know the laws of your area as what constitutes a hate crime because if a law officer does not respond to those words they are to be held more responsible then the perpetrators[at least in the US])

if you can travel in any kind of group even a second person standing near you, and talking to you can stop a lot, but they need to realize that they need to apply some of the same rules as above to themselves

remember that these ignorant people I speak of are not just men but also women. I personally have had more negative interactions with women then men, but luckily only a couple of those ever became violent, mostly just really awkward.

[christin14]

That is a great post. I was wondering if you have attained your goal. Is your goal still a B cup? I am a 24 male with a slender body (5'5 and 120 lbs.) so any growth I have will be VERY noticeable. Also, are your breasts large enough that you are wearing a bra daily? I work for a company that is 90% women and I am quite nervous that the women in the office will easily find out that I am wearing a bra. The bra straps seem to easily show through a dress shirt. My chest is still quite flat (less than an AA cup), since I have only been trying herbs for a few months. Still trying to figure out what will work best for me. I haven't got any tingles or itchiness yet. I really want to have a set of small breasts, but I wonder how large I can go without NEEDING a bra for support and to prevent injury or pain.

[EmilyAngelina]

I was wondering if you have attained your goal. Is your goal still a B cup?...are your breasts large enough that you are wearing a bra daily?

for the most part I haven't been receiving the results that I was originally expecting, after all this time I only have about a natural AA to A cup, but for other reasons I compensate like many natural women ( with inserts ) mainly because I originally presented myself to my classmates/coworkers with a B cup and it would get really suspicious if I would just reduce in size over-night. So in a round about way yes I ware a bra daily mainly to support the inserts, but also as a form of a measuring stick

I work for a company that is 90% women and I am quite nervous that the women in the office will easily find out that I am wearing a bra. The bra straps seem to easily show through a dress shirt.

I see the logic that you are following and I want to stop you quickly. there are a few ways that you can go about handling it as well as dispelling some fallacies that I think your sir-coming too:
1. yes many thinner dress shirts will show a bra if; the bra is a darker color then the dress shirt ( black under white[tacky] ), or you don't ware something between the bra and the dress shirt, a t-shirt (many genetic-girls [ GG ] skip this step because they think that a bra counts as an undershirt, and you can probably attest to the actual results). If you are concerned with the bra being seen under the dress shirt in terms of color ware a dense t-shirt under the dress shirt, or get some thicker dress shirts (either of these may cause you to sweat a little more then normal, but if you already use a good anti-perspirent this should not be an issue). If your concern is the lines of the bra straps being visible again thicker dress shirts, or a t-shirt (the t-shirt will smooth out the appearance of straps) and as is said in the clothing industry time and again “when in doubt try it on” establishments such as department stores, and even Victoria's Secret have policies of non-discrimination directed toward the customer specifically, but when in doubt call first. So if you are concerned that the bra that you are looking at will show under you dress shirts try it on underneath the shirt in question before you buy to see if you even need to worry about these other needs.
2. this can also be used if someone notices that you are waring a bra/have breasts, but not if you suddenly walk in one day as a B → C when you were noticeably nothing the day before. Just look a little embarrassed (not hard), and say something to the effect of “my endocrinologist [en-do-cri-nol-o-gist] tells me that it is a condition called gynaecomastia [ guy-nah-co-mast-ia], and there is little that they can do about it. Other then go in, and remove them when there are no further signs of growth, and that doesn't appear to be any time soon” if you use this don't be surprised if at least one person goes and researches the topic, to try and be helpful/understanding, (do this research first, before making these statements to save a lot of embarrassment if they try and make a point about something that a doctor would have already suggested ) if just reading the statement on the screen is difficult, say it out-loud a few times until you feel comfortable with it.
3. if your overly concerned with your breast being noticed then consider rapping them, with similar to an ace-bandage, but if that is not possible most department stores sell “minimizer” bras that can reduce the appearance of the breasts by up to a full cup size. Note that neither of these methods are advisable for longer then a few hours
4. remember that no matter how many layers you have on a good pat on the back, or the shoulder will reveal that you are waring a bra, and that is where things might get interesting. This may be the point where you want to break down and tell the whole truth, if you do that is on you, just remember that this is actually a small game of chicken and the one with the higher level of embarrassment will actually speak first. Though another possible answer is to use the method listed in #2 but at the end add something to the effect of “I have kind grown attached to them in more ways then one” this allows you to say a joke that will break possibly mounting tension, but this will most likely lead to deeper discussion, so be ready.

since I have only been trying herbs for a few months. Still trying to figure out what will work best for me. I haven't got any tingles or itchiness yet. I really want to have a set of small breasts,

remember word that you might have heard back during puberty “every one grows at their own rate, and you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else directly” well in this context it still stands. If you are assuming that you can go in and take someone else s herb-cocktail and get the same results that they did. I am sorry, but you are possibly setting yourself up for disappointment. It took me the better part of 8 months to find what I feel to be the best dosage for me, mainly through trial and error.

but I wonder how large I can go without NEEDING a bra for support and to prevent injury or pain.

this can be a tricky question, and it mostly depends on the final goal for your breasts: “I want those because, I want them” [1. no, I don't think any less of you, in fact a applaud you for being willing to go for what you want, if this is your reason; just realize that what you are doing is most likely permanent], “I want to look better in a dress” [2. yes, I am referring to CD/TV/TS mostly, but others can fall into this category as well], and “breast will help me feel better about myself” [3. I am not talking about CD/TV/TS that would actually be the previous category]
1. even though you know what you want you might not have thought of the golden rule of the bra industry if it can fit an A you probably need a bra (this is understandable considering that an A cup constitutes a difference of 5-6 inches between ribcage, and fullest part of the breast, and no matter what your rib cage measure that will be considerable, unless you are reasonably obese) for the purpose of preventing pain/complications breast tissue is sited as being between 55-70% fat, and gravity affects fat more then anything else so it will actually be determined on the absolute distribution of fat about the breast structure. If this is of great doubt and the golden rule of the bra industry doesn't make sense then you could always ask a general practitioner of medicine.
2. it is typical of this group of people to have started/have experience waring/hiding a bra long before they ever start taking any kind of hormone real/synthetic/herbal. But if needed see above
3. this answer is similar to 2 but is different in that as apposed to 1 knowing what they want, emotions can be a lot more fleeting, and it might be a good idea to look into a least a few months of therapy to make sure you don't actually belong to group 1 or 2.


I hope that I have answered all of your questions. I know that I can be very long winded to simple questions, but I like to think that I am thorough.