Karen,
You are very much correct in asking these important questions,
That is indeed the complete point of the herbs vs synthetics,
herbs are slower and controllable , with the exception of pm at high dose for some,
There is a wonderful site called evanesce herbal , Dianne at the phoenix project, study it ,
There are girls on there who have fully transformed, partially transformed and many are happily married and functioning as "the balance can be maintained",
Herbs work end of,
Also many girls take herbs on the phoenix site too cool T levels and not actually feminise, that is the wide degree that herbs can offer,
Now in my view pm can be quick or slow,so just take it easy,
Absololutely take accurate notes and keep a journal so if your mind starts playing tricks then you have a point of reference.
Also PM has now beed added too the evanesce formulations,
In my view herbs are used for partial people like me, who actually produce far too much testoterone which then makes me feel as if want to be female, yes happens,
They are also baby steps, so you can take new breasts and feelings for a test drive
Remember you have a will, and you can stop,
Julie