27-09-2011, 03:12 PM
This is only my theory. It is based only on what I personally have felt or experienced …. That being said I find this whole thing very intriguing.
Let me start by saying that I am a 64 year old male that has never had a desire to either feel like a woman or become a woman until recently. Yes there have been maybe 2 or 3 shorts spurts (weeks) of playing with cross dressing, more for sexual release than anything, but other than that happy to be a guy.
Recently (maybe the past year or so) I began to start loosing my energy and started to have mood swings. Didn’t feel as “sexy” as I used to. I sometimes started to feel depressed, other times I was happy as could be.
I began researching it on the Internet and put together a whole list of things that could be making me feel this way. I brought the list to my Doctor and we started to run tests. EVERYTHING, and we tested allot, was normal EXCEPT my Testosterone Level. The 1st test that I had my T Level was 185.
NOTE: All of my Blood tests were taken 1st thing in the AM ….
A “T Level” of 185 is pretty low. Even for a 64 year old male. They should be somewhere around 550-560. So we scheduled another Blood Test … 2 weeks later. T Level this time was 251. Higher, but still way Low. One more Blood Test to be sure …. 208. So there we are … I definitely have low testosterone levels … Symptoms of which match what I am feeling.
Here’s what they are “The symptoms of low testosterone include low sex drive, mood problems, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and depression.”
So we decided that I would try a Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) program. I was prescibed a product called Testim. It’s a gel that you apply to your chest/upper arms 1st thing in the morning and it absorbs into your body raising your T Level. I was to apply 1 tube each morning and come back in 3 weeks for another Blood Test.
Within a week I started to feel better. I had more energy … I was still a tad moody, but the swings were less, I “began” to sleep better … looking good so far. Three weeks later I go back for my blood test … my T Level is now in the 750’s …. I had been reading allot in those three weeks and NEVER expected my T Level to jump that high with 1 tube …. By comparing to other peoples results it should have been more like in the 400-500 range. I didn’t think anything of it at this point … I’m still reading and learning about this stuff at the time.
I read more and more, trying to figure out why it jumped so high. Didn’t find much more than “maybe” the spot where blood was drawn had some T on it and it comtaminated the blood sample. So we schedule another blood test … this time I make sure that there is no gel anywhere near the spot where blood is drawn. I also ask for more than just T Levels …. I ask for Total T, Free T, Estradiol, and PSA (always a good idea to have as many PSA samples to compare to as you can).
Results comes back …. Total T is like in the 780’s … still way high. Free T is high too (don’t have the numbers with me) PSA is low (that’s good), Estradiol is AT THE HIGH END of the normal range.
So I stick with the 1 tube at this time … thinking nothing of it.
So at this pint I’m 3 months into TRT …. I am feeling like a new man. Plenty of energy (maybe too much at times) Lots of morning and spontaneous “wood” … I feel like jumping any good looking woman that I pass on the street … DAMN … I’m feeling like a teenager again.
BUT ….. yes you heard me “BUT” …. There’s some other things going on here. All of a sudden I am getting very much interested in my own breasts. Especially my nipples and my areola. My nipples are often times hard and erect and my areola are puffy, firm, and rubbery feeling. And when I touch them it feels SO GOOD. I find myself playing more and more with my nipples …. When I play with them they get bigger and harder. Now I find myself searching the Internet on “How the Enlarge Your Nipples”. Next thing you know it I have a Nipple Pump … A vacuum pump that has small cylinders that you place over your nipples and the vacuum makes them get bigger and harder (like the breasts one only smaller) … and FEELS DAMN GOOD TOO.
Not sure what’s going on here but now I’m wanting to make my Breasts Bigger too. And that’s when I found “breastnexus.com”. I become “Karen” …. Let me tell you when I am on the board and posting as “Karen” I am feeling more and more like I want to be a woman. I’m still cautious … I do have a life that I don’t want to ruin until I find out more about what’s going on in my head.
If you’ve followed any of my posts you know that I started to play with PM … not a real long journey. Lasted like 5 days …. But before I started PM I stopped my TRT. PM wasn’t for me …. I felt like it “could have easily” controlled me … and I’m not willing to turn “control of myself” over to anyone OR anything. So I stopped PM ….
So now, at this point in time, I’m not taking PM nor am I using TRT.
I have to tell you that my “inner feelings” are changing … I’m loosing interest in becoming a woman … sometimes when I’m posting as “Karen” I’m actually feeling very uncomfortable “coming off like a woman” …. What’s going on here!!!
Just about the same time I start to Private Message with one of the very knowledgable members of breastnexus. Thank goodness she is there. I’m not real comfortable openly sharing at this time … but she listens and shares with me what she knows. I’m trying to understand all of this and what is going on.
So at this point in time (couple of weeks ago??) what am I thinking? … what theories do I have swimming around in my head? Well here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking that the “infatuation with my own breasts, even the desire to grow my own” in a some way was being sparked and fueled by my TRT. Why? Cause now that I’m not taking any T or PM or anything … all of these desires are fading away. I’m thinking that all my life my T levels may have been on the low side of the range … and when I jumped up to the 750-800 levels … and my Estradiol went to the high end of the normal range my body just didn’t know what to do with it. And specfically the high levels of Estrogen (Estradiol) got my interest in breasts going ….
OK … so now we are just about 2 weeks ago. This whole Hormone, Breast, and Herb thing has me really curious and interested. I have to say I liked the “sexual feelings” that I had when I was in the middle of “breast worship” (my own that is) …. I know I’m not going back to PM, but maybe I’ll try some herbs. I have to be carefull though … I don’t want to get “sucked into” anything and not be able to turn back.
So I Private Message with my “expert” and get a crash course in Herbs and what they do.
I come up with a new plan. It involves my TRT Gel, Hops, Spearmint Tea, and Licorice Tea.
The new plan is this …. I can actually regulate exactly how much T I have in my body just by varying the amount of gel that I use. I can then adust the amount of DHT that is produced (and in turn how much Estradiol is created) by varying amounts of Hops. PLUS Hops adds a little extra phytoestrogens. I have liquid Hops extract …. 56 drops = 2000 mg … so I can be fairly precise just by counting the number of drops. The Licorice and the Spearment Teas? They are there for some “quick controls” … Licorice has Phytoestrogens, it an Anti-androgen, it also has Prolactin, and Phytoprogesterone. It will add some more Estradiol, help block DHT as needed, throw in some Prolactin and Phytoprogesterone for fullness and Shape. Spearmint is an anti-androgen. I can drink it if I notice high libido, hair loss, and oily skin that I want to stabilize quickly.
So I started back on TRT …. I vary the amount of Gel that I use. I take hops in varying amounts. I throw in teas here and there. And what am I beginning to feel and think.
I can actually control how female I feel, or how male. I can control how “horny I feel” … as either sex. I can control a “high” feeling. I can control my energy levels … I can see that I retain water based on how much estrogen I produce (not measured but what I’m taking says it’s so) …. That ties into how sensitive my nipples are, or how puffy or hard they are. I can control how “full they feel” ….
This is some pretty freaky stuff ….
So that’s where I am right now. It’s almost like I can feel more womanly when I want (usually feeling pretty sex driven and horny when I get there) OR a “horny”, “jump on anything female” kinda male when I want to … or anyplace in between.
I’m not looking to get into any discussions about whether these are “underlying drives that have existed all my life and are now just coming out” …. I’m not looking to defend my theories. I’m not looking to change anyone’s mind about how they feel about anything. I’m only posting here to share what my experiences have been and what I am finding as a “very interesting” phenomenon.
Hugs …. Karen
PS … I used a full tube of testim this am … no Hops …. Gonna make a double Licorice Tea and see where that takes me.
News at 5 …..
Let me start by saying that I am a 64 year old male that has never had a desire to either feel like a woman or become a woman until recently. Yes there have been maybe 2 or 3 shorts spurts (weeks) of playing with cross dressing, more for sexual release than anything, but other than that happy to be a guy.
Recently (maybe the past year or so) I began to start loosing my energy and started to have mood swings. Didn’t feel as “sexy” as I used to. I sometimes started to feel depressed, other times I was happy as could be.
I began researching it on the Internet and put together a whole list of things that could be making me feel this way. I brought the list to my Doctor and we started to run tests. EVERYTHING, and we tested allot, was normal EXCEPT my Testosterone Level. The 1st test that I had my T Level was 185.
NOTE: All of my Blood tests were taken 1st thing in the AM ….
A “T Level” of 185 is pretty low. Even for a 64 year old male. They should be somewhere around 550-560. So we scheduled another Blood Test … 2 weeks later. T Level this time was 251. Higher, but still way Low. One more Blood Test to be sure …. 208. So there we are … I definitely have low testosterone levels … Symptoms of which match what I am feeling.
Here’s what they are “The symptoms of low testosterone include low sex drive, mood problems, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and depression.”
So we decided that I would try a Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) program. I was prescibed a product called Testim. It’s a gel that you apply to your chest/upper arms 1st thing in the morning and it absorbs into your body raising your T Level. I was to apply 1 tube each morning and come back in 3 weeks for another Blood Test.
Within a week I started to feel better. I had more energy … I was still a tad moody, but the swings were less, I “began” to sleep better … looking good so far. Three weeks later I go back for my blood test … my T Level is now in the 750’s …. I had been reading allot in those three weeks and NEVER expected my T Level to jump that high with 1 tube …. By comparing to other peoples results it should have been more like in the 400-500 range. I didn’t think anything of it at this point … I’m still reading and learning about this stuff at the time.
I read more and more, trying to figure out why it jumped so high. Didn’t find much more than “maybe” the spot where blood was drawn had some T on it and it comtaminated the blood sample. So we schedule another blood test … this time I make sure that there is no gel anywhere near the spot where blood is drawn. I also ask for more than just T Levels …. I ask for Total T, Free T, Estradiol, and PSA (always a good idea to have as many PSA samples to compare to as you can).
Results comes back …. Total T is like in the 780’s … still way high. Free T is high too (don’t have the numbers with me) PSA is low (that’s good), Estradiol is AT THE HIGH END of the normal range.
So I stick with the 1 tube at this time … thinking nothing of it.
So at this pint I’m 3 months into TRT …. I am feeling like a new man. Plenty of energy (maybe too much at times) Lots of morning and spontaneous “wood” … I feel like jumping any good looking woman that I pass on the street … DAMN … I’m feeling like a teenager again.
BUT ….. yes you heard me “BUT” …. There’s some other things going on here. All of a sudden I am getting very much interested in my own breasts. Especially my nipples and my areola. My nipples are often times hard and erect and my areola are puffy, firm, and rubbery feeling. And when I touch them it feels SO GOOD. I find myself playing more and more with my nipples …. When I play with them they get bigger and harder. Now I find myself searching the Internet on “How the Enlarge Your Nipples”. Next thing you know it I have a Nipple Pump … A vacuum pump that has small cylinders that you place over your nipples and the vacuum makes them get bigger and harder (like the breasts one only smaller) … and FEELS DAMN GOOD TOO.
Not sure what’s going on here but now I’m wanting to make my Breasts Bigger too. And that’s when I found “breastnexus.com”. I become “Karen” …. Let me tell you when I am on the board and posting as “Karen” I am feeling more and more like I want to be a woman. I’m still cautious … I do have a life that I don’t want to ruin until I find out more about what’s going on in my head.
If you’ve followed any of my posts you know that I started to play with PM … not a real long journey. Lasted like 5 days …. But before I started PM I stopped my TRT. PM wasn’t for me …. I felt like it “could have easily” controlled me … and I’m not willing to turn “control of myself” over to anyone OR anything. So I stopped PM ….
So now, at this point in time, I’m not taking PM nor am I using TRT.
I have to tell you that my “inner feelings” are changing … I’m loosing interest in becoming a woman … sometimes when I’m posting as “Karen” I’m actually feeling very uncomfortable “coming off like a woman” …. What’s going on here!!!
Just about the same time I start to Private Message with one of the very knowledgable members of breastnexus. Thank goodness she is there. I’m not real comfortable openly sharing at this time … but she listens and shares with me what she knows. I’m trying to understand all of this and what is going on.
So at this point in time (couple of weeks ago??) what am I thinking? … what theories do I have swimming around in my head? Well here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking that the “infatuation with my own breasts, even the desire to grow my own” in a some way was being sparked and fueled by my TRT. Why? Cause now that I’m not taking any T or PM or anything … all of these desires are fading away. I’m thinking that all my life my T levels may have been on the low side of the range … and when I jumped up to the 750-800 levels … and my Estradiol went to the high end of the normal range my body just didn’t know what to do with it. And specfically the high levels of Estrogen (Estradiol) got my interest in breasts going ….
OK … so now we are just about 2 weeks ago. This whole Hormone, Breast, and Herb thing has me really curious and interested. I have to say I liked the “sexual feelings” that I had when I was in the middle of “breast worship” (my own that is) …. I know I’m not going back to PM, but maybe I’ll try some herbs. I have to be carefull though … I don’t want to get “sucked into” anything and not be able to turn back.
So I Private Message with my “expert” and get a crash course in Herbs and what they do.
I come up with a new plan. It involves my TRT Gel, Hops, Spearmint Tea, and Licorice Tea.
The new plan is this …. I can actually regulate exactly how much T I have in my body just by varying the amount of gel that I use. I can then adust the amount of DHT that is produced (and in turn how much Estradiol is created) by varying amounts of Hops. PLUS Hops adds a little extra phytoestrogens. I have liquid Hops extract …. 56 drops = 2000 mg … so I can be fairly precise just by counting the number of drops. The Licorice and the Spearment Teas? They are there for some “quick controls” … Licorice has Phytoestrogens, it an Anti-androgen, it also has Prolactin, and Phytoprogesterone. It will add some more Estradiol, help block DHT as needed, throw in some Prolactin and Phytoprogesterone for fullness and Shape. Spearmint is an anti-androgen. I can drink it if I notice high libido, hair loss, and oily skin that I want to stabilize quickly.
So I started back on TRT …. I vary the amount of Gel that I use. I take hops in varying amounts. I throw in teas here and there. And what am I beginning to feel and think.
I can actually control how female I feel, or how male. I can control how “horny I feel” … as either sex. I can control a “high” feeling. I can control my energy levels … I can see that I retain water based on how much estrogen I produce (not measured but what I’m taking says it’s so) …. That ties into how sensitive my nipples are, or how puffy or hard they are. I can control how “full they feel” ….
This is some pretty freaky stuff ….
So that’s where I am right now. It’s almost like I can feel more womanly when I want (usually feeling pretty sex driven and horny when I get there) OR a “horny”, “jump on anything female” kinda male when I want to … or anyplace in between.
I’m not looking to get into any discussions about whether these are “underlying drives that have existed all my life and are now just coming out” …. I’m not looking to defend my theories. I’m not looking to change anyone’s mind about how they feel about anything. I’m only posting here to share what my experiences have been and what I am finding as a “very interesting” phenomenon.
Hugs …. Karen
PS … I used a full tube of testim this am … no Hops …. Gonna make a double Licorice Tea and see where that takes me.
News at 5 …..
