[PippaTV]

Hello all, I'm a newbie here and want to thank all of you for posting so much information. So much, in fact, that I'm slightly overwhelmed by the quantity of information that I've read in the last four hours and have a few questions.

But before I start I want to explain a little about myself as this will put some of the questions in context.

Since the age of about 11 I've been interested in cross-dressing after watching a news report about a successful sex change operation. As I went through puberty I wished for boobs but none appeared . . .

The problem is that I'm married and my wife doesn't know about my feelings and probably wouldn't be that supportive if I was to tell her.

Having given birth to our son and then, within a year, started the menopause extremely early (42) she's lost all interest in sex, ANY physical contact and doesn't even want me to see her naked.

I recently started cross dressing and love it. At the moment I need wear a 36B basque (no-one sold a 36A) more for the circumference than the breast size although my pec's do a reasonable job of filling the cups. I guess though, that in reality, |'m an A-cup. I'd like to get to a B-cup so that the basque is filled and this would allow me to wear a nice bra and panty set instead sometimes.

I'm male, 42 and weigh around 170lbs. I'm reasonably slim although there's a lot more in the middle than I'd like thanks to middle age (and a little too much food).

So, clearly the way forward for me is to start taking PM and Red Clover as well. My plan is do this at the same time as getting back into shape so that I can put the change in my appearance down to the exercise regime if my wife notices. It seems unlikely that she will as I removed all my body hair (I'm pretty hairy: legs, arms and chest) and it took her two weeks to notice that.

So to my questions:

* I've read contradictory advice. Will the changes be permanent ? Some have said that I will have breasts for as long as I take PM, others have said that once you go beyond 5-6 months then the results will be permanent and will require surgery to remove the breasts.

* Can I control the size of my breasts by changing the dose so that, in the summer I could reduce the dose so that they are less noticeable and then increase the dose in winter when I can hide them under baggier clothes ?

* If I stop taking PM how do they take to reduce in size ?

* What does should of PM should I start on ? 2 x 500 mg seems to be the recommended does around here. How much Red Clover should I take ?

* Should I stay on it continuously or stop/start as and when ? I'd be happy be slow growth as the change would be less obvious to others, my wife and son for example.

* Does anyone have experience of Biovea's brand of PM which is available here in the UK ?

http://biovea.co.uk/product_detail.aspx?NAME=PUERARIA-MIRIFICA-500mg-100-Capsules&PID=2443&OS=204

* Will taking PM affect my sex drive and my ability to perform ? I nearly always have morning wood and can manage an extremely hard erection at while. I DO NOT want to lose this ability nor to suffer a reduction in the amount of sperm that I produce.

* Living as I do in the UK there aren't that many opportunities to go to the beach and strip off but how do others manage to live as a man with 36B breasts without attracting unwanted attention ? If my wife or so notices I'm hoping that I can put the changes down to my new fitness regime combined with a bout of Gynecomastia. Is this realistic ?

Thanks in advance and sorry for so many questions. As I said, Ive spent four hours or so reading all the posts of this forum but there seems to be some contradictory information which I hoping the more experienced can clarify for me and others.

Pippa

[Pansy-Mae]

Hi Pippa and welcome.

Yes there is a huge amount of info here at it can be confusing to say the least, if only because biologically male and female are starting from a different place.
We are all different and react differently, so nobody can tell you what will work for you, you have to decide for yourself which route to take and then be prepared to play around with ingredients and does until you find your ideal.
I'll do my best to give you my answers to your questions, but others may have different views.

Since the age of about 11 I've been interested in cross-dressing after watching a news report about a successful sex change operation. As I went through puberty I wished for boobs but none appeared .
That is exactly what happened to me as well

The problem is that I'm married and my wife doesn't know about my feelings and probably wouldn't be that supportive if I was to tell her. I'll come back to this one later

Having given birth to our son and then, within a year, started the menopause extremely early (42) she's lost all interest in sex, ANY physical contact and doesn't even want me to see her naked.

I recently started cross dressing and love it.
I'll come back to this later as well

So, clearly the way forward for me is to start taking PM and Red Clover as well.
I'm not sure why this is 'clearly the way forward'?. However if thats what you want then PM is fine, but I wonder if you are confusing RC ( Red Clover) with SP ( Saw Palmetto)? You may need SP to stop the conversion of Testosterone into DHT ( DiHydro Testosterone). DHT blocks the Oestrogen receptors and is also responsible for prostate problems, male pattern baldness and male body hair.

My plan is do this at the same time as getting back into shape so that I can put the change in my appearance down to the exercise regime if my wife notices. It seems unlikely that she will as I removed all my body hair (I'm pretty hairy: legs, arms and chest) and it took her two weeks to notice that.
That sound like a chancy option, but it's up to you, of course. I rather suspect that she will go ballistic when she does eventually notice and you could well be faced with a fairly stark ultimatum!

So to my questions:

* I've read contradictory advice. Will the changes be permanent ? Some have said that I will have breasts for as long as I take PM, others have said that once you go beyond 5-6 months then the results will be permanent and will require surgery to remove the breasts.
OK, it will probably take up to about 3 months before you start to feel 'growing pains'. Prior to that, from a couple of weeks in, you will start to notice small changes to the shape of your chest. This is fat deposition patterns changing. This is, as far as we know, entirely reversible. Stop PM and within a few weeks the fat will go back to male pattern. Once the growing pains start, you are on the road to permanence. You will feel a small hard lump behind the nipple which will slowly enlarge. This is actual breast tissue developing and is permanent. If you stop PM you will keep that bit, although again the fat will start to vanish.

* Can I control the size of my breasts by changing the dose so that, in the summer I could reduce the dose so that they are less noticeable and then increase the dose in winter when I can hide them under baggier clothes ?
Simple answer - NO. You are not talking about filling balloons with water and increasing or decreasing the volume.

* If I stop taking PM how do they take to reduce in size ?
The fat will start to move away within a couple of weeks. The permanent growth is permanent

* What does should of PM should I start on ? 2 x 500 mg seems to be the recommended does around here. How much Red Clover should I take ?
Start with 2 x500mg and then slowly work up to 4 x500mg. After that its up to you to experiment. I wouldn't take the RC but I'd suggest about 1800mg SP per day.

* Should I stay on it continuously or stop/start as and when ? I'd be happy be slow growth as the change would be less obvious to others, my wife and son for example.
Growth will be slow anyway, this is a 2 or 3 year journey

* Does anyone have experience of Biovea's brand of PM which is available here in the UK ?
I don't myself, but it is a lot more expensive than other brands. You might want to look at Ainterol and Pueraria.co.uk.
They are all mail order anyway, so it makes no difference from that point of view.


* Will taking PM affect my sex drive and my ability to perform ?
Yes, probably.
You will also probably find that after a few months you lose interest in cross-dressing.
Alternatively, and this is the scary part, you MAY find that your need for the feminine keeps on increasing and you end up going the full TS /GRS route.
There is no way to tell which it will be ahead of it happening.

* Living as I do in the UK there aren't that many opportunities to go to the beach and strip off but how do others manage to live as a man with 36B breasts without attracting unwanted attention ?
Again, simple answer is, You don't. Up to about a B cup, you can probably just about get away with baggy shirts, day-to-day, but unless you don't mind being stared at and giggled about, the pool and the beach are out. I just about managed a summer holiday in Italy last June, but felt self-concious. I'm past that stage now and it's stay-covered holidays in future. It is the big down-side to this.

If my wife or son notices I'm hoping that I can put the changes down to my new fitness regime combined with a bout of Gynecomastia. Is this realistic ?
Only you and your wife can answer that one, I'm afraid. However you really are playing with fire in not telling her what you are doing and she WILL notice eventually. I've known plenty of marriages fail on a simple cross-dressing level, let alone growing boobs.

Hope this helps, but you really MUST think this through and decide whether your marriage is worth risking.

[chrishoney]

Pansy -mae's reply is spot on, a really good summary of what you will find going back through the archives.

I would just add that with an a-cup you can still swim/go to the beach, just not topless. I use something to compress things underneath sun-protective shirts. I am pale complected and sunburn quite easily and have been wearing "swim shirts" for years to avoid burning (love to snorkel and free dive.) You need to find baggier styles than typical surf rashers but it can be done.

This works out of doors where sun burn/UV exposure is a concern. Indoors I suppose is a different story. I imagine you would have to come clean to your wife and family, and to others just brazen it out, grab a handful of each breast, laugh heartily and joke about "yeah I have gynecomastia and the 'girls' bounce around too much if I don't wear a shirt! Ha ha ha!" Well.....it COULD work.....maybe, kinda, sort of.....then again maybe not.

You could always try the Ahhhnold Swartzenegger look and claim they were all muscle man, what's it to you?! lol

[PippaTV]

Thank you so much for the detailed replies. I'll reply more fully later this evening as it's not too easy right now !

Pippa

[sfem]

I wanted to say that Pansy-Mae's comments are very good, and in my experience, completely accurate.
I would suggest that unless you are trying to create grounds for divorce, then you really do need to broach the topic with your wife before you go very far with this. She will notice. She already has noticed changes in your behaviour, guaranteed. She may not have it figured out, but I would guess she can imagine worse things than the truth so don't let that happen. If you toss trust on the trash heap before you even start, your goose is cooked.
Have you considered trying breast forms instead of actually growing breasts? It sounds to me like you are having urges of a sexual nature, but not like you are committed to what is usually a difficult path that often has lots of tears in it. If the cross-dressing thing isn't up for discussion, then making physical changes that aren't reversible doesn't seem like a good idea from where I am sitting.
Whatever path you choose, keep in mind you have lots of time. 42 is plenty young. Maybe postpone taking action. Between her hormonal changes, a new child (and don't kid yourself, she noticed about your shaving) and your changes, perhaps you might want to let things settle down some in order to make it easier for her to handle this. Don't overload her with big emotional changes. It will also give you more time to learn about this and decide if it is really a path you want to be on. Good luck with whatever you choose!