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Having second thoughts

#1

Hi,

I've just stopped taking PM after seeing the changes it has
done to my body. I've been taking it for a very short time,
but I've had enough growth (if I can call it that) to make
me wonder if I really want this.

Approximately half of the time I don't want to look like
a female and do not want breasts or anything even resembling
them. The other half of the time I will massage my breasts,
imagine they're bigger, imagine that I have a more feminine
figure etc. This is all really confusing to me. It's like having
two different persons inside of one.

Has anyone else here had second thoughts? Or is everyone
absolutely sure in wanting to grow breasts? What are your
motives for growing breasts? For me... I don't know, really,
but I think I may be transgendered (thought this is not at all
clear, since I tend to switch between male and female state of
mind rather frequently). I do plan to visit a therapist soon to
see where I fit in on the gender spectrum.

I'd also like to know how hard is it to reverse the effects of
PM once the growing process really starts (i.e. after budding).
Is the resulting breast state equivalent to gynecomastia?
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#2

Hi, Confused. Welcome to the site. As far as your confused state of mind, join the club. I need a GPS to figure out which way up is. I bought some PM but haven't started taking it for the very reason that you stated. BTW, might I ask how much you took daily and for how long before you started noticing changes?

From what others in this site have said, the first 3 months or so of using PM is just fat relocation - meaning fat is being deposited in more feminine locations - breast, butt, thighs. You start "budding" and getting real female breasts after the 3 month point. If you stop before 3 months, the fat dissipates and what you end up with is lose flabby skin. Now I cannot personally attest to this, but this is what I've learned from reading here. One note is that all time estimates may vary by individual, and herbs that work like lightening on one person may have no effect at all on another.

What I've been doing recently is using my Noogleberry (a popular breast pump device), subliminal recordings and massage. I knew I wasn't using the Noogleberry correctly, but I was shocked today when I tried a different approach suggested by another person here and things began to blossom. Of course, today's growth is mostly swelling and will subside shortly, but it made me step back and start to reevaluate.

Until I decide for certain where I am heading, I am reluctant to make and non-reversible changes.

A member of a similar site gave her farewells cautioning people that PM is the real deal and worked so well on her that it unlocked her latent transsexual desires and she's now going all the way with a M2F sex change. Despite what some people say about herbs being ineffective, that PM seems to be very potent.

When or if you figure out what you're going to do, please let the members on this site (especially me) know.

Thanks, and welcome again.
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#3

(03-03-2012, 01:55 AM)EricaB Wrote:  Hi, Confused. Welcome to the site. As far as your confused state of mind, join the club. I need a GPS to figure out which way up is. I bought some PM but haven't started taking it for the very reason that you stated. BTW, might I ask how much you took daily and for how long before you started noticing changes?

Only two weeks so far. The first week I was on 500mg and the second week
I was taking 1000mg. To be honest, I was really shocked to see the changes
after such a short time. I do realize that this is just initial fat redistribution,
but still.... I never would have expected for things to go so fast.

Quote:From what others in this site have said, the first 3 months or so of using PM is just fat relocation - meaning fat is being deposited in more feminine locations - breast, butt, thighs. You start "budding" and getting real female breasts after the 3 month point. If you stop before 3 months, the fat dissipates and what you end up with is lose flabby skin. Now I cannot personally attest to this, but this is what I've learned from reading here. One note is that all time estimates may vary by individual, and herbs that work like lightening on one person may have no effect at all on another.

Yes, that's what I'm thinking too. In my case it worked almost literally like
lightning.

Quote:Until I decide for certain where I am heading, I am reluctant to make and non-reversible changes.

A member of a similar site gave her farewells cautioning people that PM is the real deal and worked so well on her that it unlocked her latent transsexual desires and she's now going all the way with a M2F sex change. Despite what some people say about herbs being ineffective, that PM seems to be very potent.

I would absolutely agree about PM being very potent. While I haven't noticed
any immediate psychological effects, the physical effects alone were enough
to affect my psyche. (For example, when I'm in "female mode", seeing
my breast forming makes my decision to take PM more and more determined.
In the "male mode" I just want to stop taking PM.)

Quote:When or if you figure out what you're going to do, please let the members on this site (especially me) know.

Thanks, and welcome again.

Thanks for your support, I appreciate it.
I do hope that I'll one day figure out what to do, no matter what
the decision will be.
Reply
#4

Quite a few of us have found that being on PM reduces desires for cross-dressing. Perhaps the change in your body's perception of hormone level reduces your desire for change. If your desire for change has a sexual basis, then taking PM which changes and reduces your sex drive would of course reduce your desire for change. Your comment about talking to a therapist to explore this further seems like a very good plan.
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#5

I agree with sfem.
Yes, I've been through the "Why am I doing this?" then stop taking PM, more than once... for a few days to a couple of weeks, before the fear of losing what I've gained takes over and I start popping the pills again! I have to say though, that with time, that see-saw has quietened down and I'm happy with what I'm doing. I wish they grow faster of courseBig Grin but I don't want to stop yet, I still haven't quite reached my ideal although it isn't too far off.

One thing I'm very sure of is that I am NOT TS. You may read posts saying that PM will make you TS and want to make a full transition, but that is rubbish. It may do, but it can't actually do more than make you realise what has always been there, it cannot of itself create something that isn't there.
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#6

(03-03-2012, 02:39 PM)Pansy-Mae Wrote:  I agree with sfem.
Yes, I've been through the "Why am I doing this?" then stop taking PM, more than once... for a few days to a couple of weeks, before the fear of losing what I've gained takes over and I start popping the pills again! I have to say though, that with time, that see-saw has quietened down and I'm happy with what I'm doing. I wish they grow faster of courseBig Grin but I don't want to stop yet, I still haven't quite reached my ideal although it isn't too far off.

Might I ask, what are your motives for breast growth? What bra size do
you target?

I somehow decided that I would not want to go beyond an A cup as I
would not want them to be too noticeable. (Though, in my male mode
even an A cup is too much.)

Quote:One thing I'm very sure of is that I am NOT TS. You may read posts saying that PM will make you TS and want to make a full transition, but that is rubbish. It may do, but it can't actually do more than make you realise what has always been there, it cannot of itself create something that isn't there.

I think you're right. It's not as if someone would take PM accidentally
only then to discover to be TS. I think it is rather the other way around.
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#7

(03-03-2012, 08:08 PM)confused Wrote:  Might I ask, what are your motives for breast growth? What bra size do
you target?

I somehow decided that I would not want to go beyond an A cup as I
would not want them to be too noticeable.



I can't tell you what my motives are, I don't really have any, as such. It's just something I've always wished I had and having discovered that it might be possible, I decided to go for it. Now, all I can say is that it feels 'right' somehow, although I can't tell you what that means in any meaningful way!

Equally, I have no bra size/cup size as a goal, I'm afraid.
IMO that is also meaningless because no two bra's are the same anyway, there are countless threads around about bra sizing and everyone, male or female, is equally confused by the subject. Like you I don't want them to be so obvious that I can't hide them when in male mode at the office or in front of friends and family, but I haven't got to that point yet and I wear a 36B which I don't quite fill. Then again I normally wear a loose fitting shirt, I've never been a tight t-shirt wearer.
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#8

I must apologize in advance for most of what I am about to say here. It just struck my warped mind as funny.

I'm sure you've all seen entertainment (movies, plays, etc.) where a person is wearing a dual gender outfit? You know, tuxedo on the left size, ball gown on the right. They stand with one side or the other towards the audience.

Ok, now for my weird thought... if you're uncertain, grow only one breast. No idea how you'd accomplish that, maybe with noogling and massage.

It wasn't as funny typed as it was in my head. But if I had to suffer with it, you can too Tongue

On a serious note, Confused, please remember that the members of this site want to grow breasts, or think they do. So you're probably only going to get the "go for it" opinion here. I seriously doubt there are any "Men Who Don't Want To Grow Breasts" websites, so I have no idea where you'd go for the other side of the discussion. A problem being who the heck can we talk to about it in the real world who won't think we've gone completely crazy? Welcome to my realm of inner turmoil. Sigh Huh

As for size, my mom was 36 C so a C-cup sounds ok to me, although they'd probably look small on me due to my larger frame. On the other hand, my 90 pound sister is flat as an ironing board so I hope that I don't share her fate.

Going down the stairs this morning I noticed a significant bounce... significant to me anyway. I'm maybe an AAA or AA right now, but they're a bit larger than 2 weeks ago when I didn't notice a bounce. That bounce gives me yet another reason to reevaluate. On the other hand, watching fit male atheletes run, their pecs bounce too. Look at my ramblings. And you called yourself confused. Tongue
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#9

(03-03-2012, 08:29 PM)Pansy-Mae Wrote:  Equally, I have no bra size/cup size as a goal, I'm afraid.
IMO that is also meaningless because no two bra's are the same anyway, there are countless threads around about bra sizing and everyone, male or female, is equally confused by the subject. Like you I don't want them to be so obvious that I can't hide them when in male mode at the office or in front of friends and family, but I haven't got to that point yet and I wear a 36B which I don't quite fill. Then again I normally wear a loose fitting shirt, I've never been a tight t-shirt wearer.

Wow, I can't imagine how one can possibly hide B cup breasts...
Do you wear a bra to work?

I tried filling my 38A bra completely, and there's no way I can
hide breasts of such size, other than wearing a thick jacket.
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#10

(03-03-2012, 11:14 PM)EricaB Wrote:  On a serious note, Confused, please remember that the members of this site want to grow breasts, or think they do. So you're probably only going to get the "go for it" opinion here. I seriously doubt there are any "Men Who Don't Want To Grow Breasts" websites, so I have no idea where you'd go for the other side of the discussion. A problem being who the heck can we talk to about it in the real world who won't think we've gone completely crazy? Welcome to my realm of inner turmoil. Sigh Huh

Yes, you're absolutely right. If you find out where "the other side of the discussion"
happens, please let me know. This forum is so far the best I could find
that touches on the subject. And while it is natural to expect most of the
members here to be pro-growth, I would also expect that there are also
ones that do change their minds (perhaps multiple times). So far, I've
counted two. Smile

Quote:As for size, my mom was 36 C so a C-cup sounds ok to me, although they'd probably look small on me due to my larger frame. On the other hand, my 90 pound sister is flat as an ironing board so I hope that I don't share her fate.

Going down the stairs this morning I noticed a significant bounce... significant to me anyway. I'm maybe an AAA or AA right now, but they're a bit larger than 2 weeks ago when I didn't notice a bounce. That bounce gives me yet another reason to reevaluate. On the other hand, watching fit male atheletes run, their pecs bounce too. Look at my ramblings. And you called yourself confused. Tongue

Smile
Now that you mentioned it, I have a friend who goes to a gym
regularly and has pecs that could easily fit an A cup, perhaps even a bit
bigger than that. I even teased him several times about him needing a
bra. Now, that is all muscle and is viewed as perfectly fine, if not desirable...
But if all of that were a combination of fat and glandular tissue, he would
never, ever take off his shirt anywhere. Which sometimes really pisses me off.
(I do not know of a single case where male breasts were considered ok.)
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