[PattiJT]

    It may go nowhere, but something mentioned in a recent thread reply has gotten me wondering. Many of us have discovered changes in our emotions and conduct during PM usage, but I'm curious about whether those changes go beyond emotional, and affect us (some of us) at a habitual level. R/C trains and aircraft, and other hobbies are the examples I want to discuss. Sorry, I won't be mentioning regimens here.
For the last 30+ years, I have built and flown R/C aircraft, mostly sailplanes. I left powered planes mostly due to the cost, and find soaring much more relaxing. I have also since my teens, been into cars. I'm not a restorer, more of an "improver, upgrader, and maintainer".
Nothing I have taken for NBE, nor any other lifestyle changes that were undertaken, or thrust upon me, ever dampened my desire to participate in the things I enjoyed. Even when I took Premarin and finerasterides, there was no drop in my involvement in my hobbies. Having been a crossdresser since my teens as well, I regarded myself as transgendered, and therefore didn't consider it a hobby, though some would call it such.
However, when I switched to PM, things changed, and I only recently noticed that fact. I never experienced the "calmness" effect, the Premarin may have already accomplished that. But, I saw a drastic decrease in the desire and frequency to crossdress. As an aside, that is causing me to re-evaluate my "transgender" designation.
To the point, I have dropped way, way down in my PM consumption. Beginning on Easter Sunday, I had gone completely off of it. No mental changes, nor any size loss resulted. I did, though, notice that I was getting more back into my hobbies, and the surprising thing was that I hadn't noticed that while I was on PM that I had backed off them a fair amount. There may be more going on here than some of us realize. Perhaps some effects are so subtle as to be nearly unnoticeable.
Last week my wife discovered that I had quit, and wanted me to restart, she thinks it makes a visible difference on facial wrinkles. So be it, I'm back on, but at only 1 gram per day, versus the 3-4 grams I had been taking.
Am I the only one curious about this, or have others seen it? I've noticed nothing on 1 gram, but is it going to be sneaky and return? Was it simply an effect of being on a high dose? I know I'm not the only one here taking a large dosage.And don't tell me it was the 4 gram dosage that did it, because that only occurred 3 or 4 times.
Anyway, I'm as involved in my pastimes as I used to be. The lower dose seems OK. Now maybe I can get the plane out I finished 7 months ago and finally get it in the air. It will be more fun than seeing it hanging from the ceiling. And look for another car to work on.
Any opinions? Observations? Patti

[Lenneth]

The only thing that has put a damper on my personal hobbies has been the downturn in the economy resulting in less disposable funds to use for them.

The only hobby (if you can call it one) I have indeed noticed a decrease in is Crossdressing, and the desire to buy female clothing.

[SarahSchilling]

You may be on to something here. Like both of you, being on PM kills my desire to crossdress, but more than that it also makes me less interested in hobbies.

Which has been a good thing for me, since doing more constructive things for my own quality of life is a better use of time. It makes me wonder whether or not my old pastimes were merely an escape from having to deal with my GID. Not that it's the same for any of you, or that hobbies are a bad thing. It's just been my experience, although I'm sure my obsessive personality doesn't help.

Anyways my 2nd day off of PM has been rough, it's almost like withdrawal in the form of high anxiety over everything.

So the hobbies may have to take a backseat for awhile in a few days. I seem to be a far happier and more functional person without them anyways.

[Pansy-Mae]

The decrease in need to cross-dress is common to virtually all of us. As is the re-emergence of that desire after abstaining from PM for only a short while ( about 3 weeks for me).

I think ( but could be wrong and if so I apologise) that the only ones who have not experienced the lessening of cross-dressing needs are those members who have subsequently gone on to full blown TS reassignment.

This is something that we discussed on here at length back last autumn ( from memory) and ties in with some work done in the US by Anne Vitale. Basically the premise is that in the womb the level of maternal androgens is too low at a critical point and the fetus brain gets programmed to expect a certain background level of female hormones which of course as a genetic boy, the male system doesn't provide. Those who are affected therefore go through life drawn to express a feminine side which is programmed into our brains, but perfectly well aware of being male and being happy at that, with no drive to chop bits off!
This can lead to all sorts of confusion and anger throughout life, but a dose of PM acts to bring the hormone balance in the body back to where the womb programming left it. In doing this we lose the drive to express our femininity in the only other way possible, which is with the clothing and makeup, etc. and those who have had shall we say, a fiery personality, find themselves happily calmer and more tolerant.

As for the 'male' hobbies, this I suspect goes with the numbers of T-folk I've known who join one of the armed services, or take other overtly 'male' jobs ( railwayman, truck driver, merchant seaman, etc), or take up body-building or agressive/adrenaline-junkie sports, and is a way of subconciously saying to the world ( if not ourselves) "Look at me doing this, I AM male!!"
As I posted on another thread a couple of days ago, I used to find a conflict in being dressed and trying to pursue my model making at the same time. I suspect the two sides of me were competing for dominance at that point - Pansy Mae was saying to her male half - "Go away, these are my few precious minutes", whereas the male side was thinking " Yes, I know that but I have to get this finished for next Saturday and it doesn't matter what I am wearing!"
Now however my head is in balance with my hormones and I'm quite happy to wear what I like and do what I like at the same time.

...or something along those lines, anyway!!!

[bryony]

All of the above for me (especially Sarah - that 2nd day is a killer!)

I might hazard a guess that miroestrol etc matches what our brains need more closely than horse estriadol? Not to say that it is more like human estriadol (though it may be) but perhaps there is a little extra something in it that reduces obsessive behaviour? The brain is probably the most complex naturally occuring thing on the planet, and so easily disrupted by chemical balance. Hobbies can be a fun diversion, but can be obsessed over, and obsession is very much a part of my condition.

B.

[Isabelle]

I recognize all of this. But what does it mean if you take it to the next level? Are all our drivers gone once we take enough? Is being a nice person with no wrinkles ultimately where this curse takes us? Or is there something else we can do with all the masculine and feminine crafts we learned along the way?

[Pansy-Mae]

I recognize all of this. But what does it mean if you take it to the next level? Are all our drivers gone once we take enough? Is being a nice person with no wrinkles ultimately where this curse takes us? Or is there something else we can do with all the masculine and feminine crafts we learned along the way?

I realised a long time ago on here, that my reactions to PM and to the other things that we all take, seems to be similar but somewhat different to most others, both in a physical and mental sense, so my take on this question may not be typical either! I've said before, that I think I started pretty close to being exactly in the middle between male and female and all my life I've oscillated from one side to the other, and now, under the influence of PM, I've settled down as 'either' or 'neither', depending on your POV.

From that starting point, I think that for every one of us 'inbetweenies', maybe once we start on the phyto-hormones there is a roller coaster ride of ups and downs in all of the mental aspects which does eventually level out. At that point, with a lot of the inbuilt stresses that we learned to cope with through life now gone, we can truly be ourselves and at that point we will naturally use the skills/crafts that we have, in a way that suits the real person. If that means a skill at using your hands to build models gets translated into sewing, or knitting so what? What matters is being happy.

[Isabelle]

I'm beginning to like this idea. The program gives me peace of mind for sewing, and I can always lower the herbs to try it on

[Pansy-Mae]

I'm beginning to like this idea. The program gives me peace of mind for sewing, and I can always lower the herbs to try it on

[sfem]

I like this thread. It rings bells for me. I am one who finds that the mental influences are both subtle and slow. Except when coming off PM. That one happens within 24 hours and lasts a week or so. On it, I sometimes feel like I am a lot less interested in my usual activities. At one point, I realized I hadn't written any code in weeks and hadn't noticed that it had happened. A little scary to be honest. But I found that if I focused on it, I didn't have to let that happen. I just have to put in an actual effort to do those things. As for long term, presumably irreversible effects, I don't know if any of us have been on PM long enough to say. For me, I actually am pleased with the reduction in porn, masturbation, cross-dressing, etc. Life is just better with less of those things in it for me.