[bryony]

Hi All
Thank you all for some very interesting insight on PM. I have been following these threads for a couple of months now and decided one month ago to try it. Thanks especially to Bryony! I seach out your posts! You seem to understand so much about the true effects of this substance. You are very articulate and I share so much your sentiment.

I'm 53 ...I began 1 month ago
500mg week one
1000mg week two
1500mg week 3 and 4.
I tried 2000mg once but it seemed too much for me to handle

I also use the cream morning and night.

Results...very sensitive nipples...always puffy
I cant say that anyone would notice a change in breast size. But by touch, they feel fuller...definately softer...maybe because of the cream.
I am actually shocked that there is any noticable difference so soon!

Sex drive: Decreased...even more than usual. Depression had kept it low already. But this "area" has become softer...it still works but not as well...I need a lot of mental stimulation. Which is becoming quite the effort.
I also notice that I cant hold my pee at all and at times I quickly lose control and I'm racing to a bathroom.
But this may or may not be related?

Twice in the last 2 weeks I woke up with severve body pains. A little scary in fact last night. I may have overheated but I could not let anything touch my body, like the blankets. Eventually I took an advil and cooled down. Almost like growing pains that a child might experience???

I didnt expect to feel changes so quickly in my body and I was ready to go cold turkey this morning...until I noticed my nipples even more swollen....so I decided to keep at it....maybe reduce back to 1000 mg a day.

What sold me on trying the PM was Bryonys description of the calming effects. I have to admit that this has occured. But now that I'm faced with possibly the complete loss of labido and who knows what other potential side effects...I'm becoming a little stressed again.
I'm not too worried that people will notice any physical changes for many months ...if ever...and I dont know if I will last that long on PM.

Bryony...are you on kind of a maintence plan now? Are you seeking more growth? Have you achieved noticable growth to the point that you can no longer take off your shirt in public?

I have not yet told my wife that I'm using the PM...She will fear I'm ready for a transition... and that is not in the cards. But she will still fear it.

Sorry for the novel.

Kristen

Hi Kristen,

thanks for the kind words. I hope you'll take it in good heart when I say that not talking to your wife is just storing trouble for the future.

I, and I think most of the other members here who have good relationships with wives, have made sure that they are fully on board with any NBE experimentation beforehand.

Any relationship is based on mutual trust, so it will be very painful for her if you go much longer without talking to her.

Regarding your other points, I take PM almost entirely for the calming effects. Libido is affected, but compensated for by increased erogenous sensitivity in the nipples/breasts. Once you open up to your wife, and she buys in to this, you'll find that this makes up for the loss of male-type libido.

Right now, you are probably stressing that she will notice this loss of libido along with worry that she will find out on her own. I repeat, the sooner you talk with her, the better. If she already knows about your gender dysphoria it will be a lot easier; if not, then that is what she needs to know about. Either way, the calming effect of PM, rather than the breast growth is the important point to make. The longer you go without treating your G.D. the more your marriage is at risk anyway.

Good luck,

Bryony

[KristenM]

Hi Bryony

Wow...Thanks! It seems like obvious advise. And I've seen it mentioned a lot on this site. But its the first time that I see clearly that I must apply it to myself. For the first time I'm not just lurking here.
Yes my wife is well aware of my "gender dysphoria". She has slowly been coming to terms with it for many years now. She finally accepts me as I am but still is not able to fully embrace this side of me. I realize that even with that I'm luckier than most. But I still have this unsettled feeling in me. I have a strong need to have this part of me recognized and embraced.
And since I was still feeling isolated I decided to go ahead and try the PM. Again the biggest justification for me was the calming effect that you describe.

My wife is the worrying type. And will over react and assume the worst when I tell her about this. But I know you are right. It will be better for both of us in the long run. I just cringe at the thought of all of the negative reactions she will have. And every time I have an ache or pain or cant sleep, etc. she will blame the PM.

It's funny I do feel more calm lately but oddly I have had the desire to smoke. Not a good habit to start up again.

Thanks again! You've been more helpful then my past 2 years with my therapist!!!

Have a great day!

K

[bryony]

Thanks for the kind remarks, I do try to help, though sometimes I don't think it comes across well.

I don't think it would be bending the truth to tell her that you wanted to see if PM would make a difference to your mental state before you bothered her with it. As far as I'm concerned, the breast growth is a side effect now. There are lots of chaps with gynecomastia.

B.

[KristenM]

Hi Again!
It's true! My brother in law has huge man boobs! I'm jealous. but in fact if I had what he had I dont think I could remove my shirt at the pool. But it is quite common to see though.

I noticed already a big difference with sex. It was not great before...but now i feel almost nothing down below. even though my nipples are more sensitive. But last night it really gave me pause. I was wondering if there is a point of no return with the PM. It has only been one month and already to have these effects!...is there a point that I could stop and still be able to return to the way I was??

Is the calming effect similar to that of an anti depressant?...I've had those in the past and found that they completely made me lose my feelings for everything ...to become numb...so I stopped. I wonder will this be similar? Can I ask you what dosage use currently take? And how often if ever you stop taking for awhile?
Always great comments from you Bryony!!

Thanks!!!
K

[bryony]

Hi Again!
It's true! My brother in law has huge man boobs! I'm jealous. but in fact if I had what he had I dont think I could remove my shirt at the pool. But it is quite common to see though.

I noticed already a big difference with sex. It was not great before...but now i feel almost nothing down below. even though my nipples are more sensitive. But last night it really gave me pause. I was wondering if there is a point of no return with the PM. It has only been one month and already to have these effects!...is there a point that I could stop and still be able to return to the way I was??

Is the calming effect similar to that of an anti depressant?...I've had those in the past and found that they completely made me lose my feelings for everything ...to become numb...so I stopped. I wonder will this be similar? Can I ask you what dosage use currently take? And how often if ever you stop taking for awhile?
Always great comments from you Bryony!!

Thanks!!!
K

Hi K,

you don't mention whether you've discussed matters with your wife yet? I really think this is crucial, and I'm going to have to insist on it as a proviso for any more discussion with me, (for what that's worth).

I really don't want to get involved with intra-marital deception...

Re: libido, right now you'll only get an erection with lots of foreplay (hence discussion with your wife) - most likely with your nipples... at least that's how it works with me.

To get functionality back, I recommend one week cold turkey a month, along with 2 capsules daily of Maca and Butea Superba... at least that's how it works for me.

Good luck with talking to your wife!

Bryony