[kiwi34]

Pictures pictures pictures!!!!

And sorry if I offended you with the guy comment! That wasn't my intent, just saying that maybe you're metabolism is slighty faster than mine!

I wish I could afford a hormone test right now so that I could pinpoint exactly what I needed!

[AbiDrew85]

Maybe I'll do a picture of me in a one-piece swimsuit... I won't do nudies and post them online. This site is indexed by Google, and my username here is my shortened form of my new legal first name, middle name and shortened form of my old legal first name, and my birth year...

I won't even do partial nudies. I'm just not that type of girl.

Anyways, I'll think about it... Next official update will be on the 3rd, so if I do any pics, they'll go up then. There won't be anything to compare against, though, since I never did any pics before starting. Well. I suppose I could link you to my OLD OLD OLD pictures from back in my senior year of high school... Most recent unavoidable pictures that won't have been removed from the internet and that includes enough of my body to compare against.





As you can see... I was very male looking... I still am really. I just look like a dude with boobs and wearing girl clothes.

And yes. I almost ALWAYS wore my guy clothes that baggy. You wouldn't know it from that pic, but I was approximately 80 pounds overweight at the time. You can definitely tell that I wasn't at all happy.

Geeesh... Looking back at all these old pics... I honestly can't find a single honest smile. Even where I'm laughing or smiling and REMEMBER smiling, there's an underlying pain and disconnect there that I barely registered at the time.

Anyways... swimsuit pic next update. Maybe. Nice thing about using a swimsuit for pics is that I ought to be able to keep taking the pics wearing the same exact suit since my one-piece is designed to fit all kinds of shapes. It's not like a bikini or bra and panties where as my sizing changes I have to change them too.

[kiwi34]

Aww you're a cutie!

Can't wait for the swimsuit pic!

[AbiDrew85]

Aww you're a cutie!

Can't wait for the swimsuit pic!

Yeah... I do get that a lot... Unfortunately I'm a "cutie" in a male sense of the term. Which is ugly compared against my mental picture of what I SHOULD be.

Maybe one day I'll be a cutie in a female sense... I'd rather be smokin though.

Facial hair... probably some facial surgeries... body hair... These are all problems I'm going to have to overcome before I can appear even remotely feminine. My body shape is somewhat reasonably feminine now, but that means very little against the hair and face shape.

Did you know that people gender you almost instantly and do so primarily by your facial structure? You don't even have to open your mouth and they will assume you male or female purely based on how your face looks.

Sometimes they'll change their assessment based on your actions and voice, but often times they'll just become confused. No matter what your genetic sex is or what your mental gender is, if your face appears masculine at all, you will be assumed to be male first, and usually people will just be confused if it comes out you're female after, but that "He's a boy!" reaction won't have gone away for most.

It really sucks when you think about that...

[kiwi34]

Facial hair... probably some facial surgeries... body hair... These are all problems I'm going to have to overcome before I can appear even remotely feminine. My body shape is somewhat reasonably feminine now, but that means very little against the hair and face shape.

Well as far as the facial hair goes, there is always laser hair removal and I can tell you first hand that it works! I have been going for treatments on my upper lip, underarms, and bikini area, and most of the coarse hairs are almost gone! I buy packages through Groupon...Idk if you know what that is? (very popular here!)

Facial surgeries...that's a different story, but maybe if you grew your hair out, it would be able to offset the face shape a little bit! But you gotta just take it one step at a time

Starting with growing boobies, you're already like millions of miles ahead most in terms of female shape!

[AbiDrew85]

Well as far as the facial hair goes, there is always laser hair removal and I can tell you first hand that it works! I have been going for treatments on my upper lip, underarms, and bikini area, and most of the coarse hairs are almost gone! I buy packages through Groupon...Idk if you know what that is? (very popular here!)

Facial surgeries...that's a different story, but maybe if you grew your hair out, it would be able to offset the face shape a little bit! But you gotta just take it one step at a time

Starting with growing boobies, you're already like millions of miles ahead most in terms of female shape!

There's also good old galvanic, which works even more permanently, though it takes a lot longer to treat an area. I can, however, perform galvanic on myself with at-home electrolysis devices.

Groupon doesn't have anything laser/galvanic related, and as far as waxing goes, they only have eyebrow waxing at least atm. For this area.

All my surgical needs will likely have to be fulfilled during a little trip to Thailand whenever I can save up or borrow enough money to do so...

Mostly these things are just going to take time. Lots of it. I just wish there was a magic pill or something and 6 months later I'd be fully female and not the 'almost' I'll be even after tons of surgeries and other procedures. Or even instantly, but that doesn't exist in even the most fantastical of science fiction. Only in fantasy...

[kiwi34]

All my surgical needs will likely have to be fulfilled during a little trip to Thailand whenever I can save up or borrow enough money to do so...

Yes I would definitely say that Thailand is the right decision whenever you're financially ready. I still remember the first time I went when I was like 12, and my relatives took me to this trans-sexual modeling show, and I couldn't speak the whole time! I was in such shock at how gorgeous and voluptuous these women were! You would never know that they were men to begin with!

[mochaccino]

Yes I would definitely say that Thailand is the right decision whenever you're financially ready. I still remember the first time I went when I was like 12, and my relatives took me to this trans-sexual modeling show, and I couldn't speak the whole time! I was in such shock at how gorgeous and voluptuous these women were! You would never know that they were men to begin with!

They took you to a drag show at 12yo!? Almost all of my relatives are fundamentalist Pentecostal ministers. I envy you

[kiwi34]

They took you to a drag show at 12yo!? Almost all of my relatives are fundamentalist Pentecostal ministers. I envy you

Haha, I think that since my mom's whole side of the family are Thai, and this type of thing is so prevalent in Thailand that they don't really think much of it lol . It way less taboo there, whereas like going to a strip club here would be frowned upon no matter what your age is, if it's the right type of people judging you.

[Doll]

They took you to a drag show at 12yo!? Almost all of my relatives are fundamentalist Pentecostal ministers. I envy you

Haha, I think that since my mom's whole side of the family are Thai, and this type of thing is so prevalent in Thailand that they don't really think much of it lol . It way less taboo there, whereas like going to a strip club here would be frowned upon no matter what your age is, if it's the right type of people judging you.

Oh, wow, I'm so surprised, and a little jealous! ;P When I was that age, my mom was taking away my shounen-ai! She would have never allowed me to even go to something like that! (Now that I'm older, she actually is a lot less judgmental of the GBLT community, but I still think even now she's crap bricks if I ever went to anything like that!)

AbiDrew, I'm so surprised to see pictures of you finally! Haha You in no way look overweight! Your arms in that first pic are thinner than mine are! > Honestly, yes, you look male, but not too much so. Your shoulders are just as wide as mine, and with plucked eyebrows and long hair (and bangs to hide the hairline), you'd definitely look female (at least as far as the face goes xP). And let me tell you, I've dated guys with less body hair than me, so as long as you shave on a regular basis, that shouldn't get in the way of your looking feminine at all.

Can't wait to see the swimsuit pics!