(02-11-2012, 06:16 PM)flamesabers Wrote: Hello Mandy,Thank you!
Welcome to the board.
I agree it is important to think carefully about what it is you really want before taking pm or any other feminizing herb. If you don't mind me asking, what was your original motive for taking pm? Did you just want to have your own pair of breasts and otherwise be a male who crossdresses? Or did you feel taking pm would help change your body to be in closer alignment to your gender identity?
(02-11-2012, 06:16 PM)flamesabers Wrote: 1,000 mg of pm sounds more like a maintenance dose to me. I find it uncommon for someone to have such a rapid and drastic physical and mental response to it. I would be doubtful of any noticeable changes occurring from taking only 500 mg.Hm... Do you think it can have anything to do with having low testosterone? I can say that i do not think I have a lot of testosterone in my body normally. I hardly have any muscles, and it's very difficult for me to gain muscle mass (had a year at the gym some years ago). Also poor beard growth. However I don't know if these are really signs of low testosterone production. Anyway I don't think I dare to go on 1000mg a day after this, so will probably go 500mg for a while in that case and see how I respond mentally.
(02-11-2012, 06:16 PM)flamesabers Wrote: I'm also a crossdresser but pm has had the opposite effect on my crossdressing. Since starting on pm, I no longer find crossdressing to be erotic nor do I have sudden impulse to crossdress like I used to. I know some other members on the board have also reported having a decrease interest in crossdressing while taking pm. I still crossdress, it's just no longer a thrill for me.Yes I have read that here too. I feel today already a decreased urge do dress. It's still there though. I even feel my style of walking is more manly today haha.. Do you dress purely for erotic reasons? If you dont mind me asking.
(02-11-2012, 06:16 PM)flamesabers Wrote: I would say I have had some mental changes from taking pm, but nothing like the emotional roller coaster and desire to transition as you've experienced.I'm sorry but I really cant tell. I don't know this myself. I think about transition in a general kind of way, and I'm as far from certain as one can be... It's not that I suddenly got en urge to transition on PM, rather a very real feeling that I could be a girl inside, then came the thoughts of transition, coming out, usually followed by tears.
The experience of starting on pm as a crossdresser but then wanting to transition after taking pm for a while has been a point of discussion on these boards. I think it's a rather controversial topic about whether pm merely awakens the desire to transition in individuals like yourself, or whether the pm actually creates a need to transition.
Are you still thinking about transitioning now that you're no longer taking pm? What I wonder is do you really want to feminize your body, or are instead just thrilled/fascinated/excited about the idea of feminizing your body? There's a big difference between the two I think.
(02-11-2012, 06:16 PM)flamesabers Wrote: Before going back on pm, I think some questions to ask yourself are:These are good personal questions I will have to think about. Thank you SO much for answering! I want to ask you, as a fellow crossdresser, do you ever wear girl clothes, like, just like that. Walk around home in a semi-dressed manner? Or do you crossdress in a more 'occasion based' manner and then go back to strictly male clothing? Hope you understand what I mean.
*Do you want to have children?
*Do you care about having a sex drive and maintaining functionality?
*How do you feel about not being able to go shirtless in public without attracting unwanted attention?
*If you decide to pursue a relationship with a female, have you thought about how she might respond to your decision to feminize your body?
*If you want to have breasts, are you willing to commit a few years or more to taking feminizing herbs?
*Is it possible sometime later in your life you might regret or be embarrassed by the irreversible feminization you have undergone?
(02-11-2012, 07:44 PM)Mandy88 Wrote: I would say that my original motive was to feminize my body because I just wanted to, since I never 'really' thought about my gender identity before it's hard to say. It surely wasn't for that explicit purpose but could have been unconsciously so.
(02-11-2012, 07:44 PM)Mandy88 Wrote: Do you think it can have anything to do with having low testosterone?
(02-11-2012, 07:44 PM)Mandy88 Wrote: Do you dress purely for erotic reasons? If you dont mind me asking.
(02-11-2012, 07:44 PM)Mandy88 Wrote: I can tell you that I do feel more comfortable, even out in public, being somewhat 'girlish' rather then manly. I have always had trouble presenting myself in a manly manner to people I meet. Never really nailed it. Always felt like bad acting. But of course there are gentle more feminine guys who are not trans... That's how I viewed myself before this experience. Now I don't know anything anymore.
(02-11-2012, 07:44 PM)Mandy88 Wrote: I want to ask you, as a fellow crossdresser, do you ever wear girl clothes, like, just like that. Walk around home in a semi-dressed manner? Or do you crossdress in a more 'occasion based' manner and then go back to strictly male clothing?
(02-11-2012, 06:16 PM)flamesabers Wrote: Before going back on pm, I think some questions to ask yourself are:
*Do you want to have children?
*Do you care about having a sex drive and maintaining functionality?
*How do you feel about not being able to go shirtless in public without attracting unwanted attention?
*If you decide to pursue a relationship with a female, have you thought about how she might respond to your decision to feminize your body?
*If you want to have breasts, are you willing to commit a few years or more to taking feminizing herbs?
*Is it possible sometime later in your life you might regret or be embarrassed by the irreversible feminization you have undergone?
(02-11-2012, 08:30 PM)flamesabers Wrote: If you're able to get a better idea on your gender identity it might become clearer as to why you want to feminize your body.Yes I understand this. I'm trying to work on it, and this is part of that.
(02-11-2012, 08:30 PM)flamesabers Wrote: No, I dress more for practicality and comfort.Me too, or maybe it's not that practical really but sure is comfortable
(02-11-2012, 08:30 PM)flamesabers Wrote: Like I said earlier, getting a better handle of your gender identity might help clear up the confusion. I think something to consider is whether feminizing your body makes you feel at peace or more like yourself, or does it make you feel more girly?Maybe both. This scares me sh*tless though. And it makes me feel lonely. Although I don't know these feelings and how genuine they are quite yet which adds to the confusion. I do however want a more feminine body even if I was to live the rest of my life as male, today I'm already dreading my body loosing it's gained smoothness. But I will probably let that happen and see if it is as bad as i imagine it to be.
(02-11-2012, 08:30 PM)flamesabers Wrote: I don't dress really feminine if that's what you're asking. I've worn high heels to a charity event but otherwise I don't wear anything that screams feminine as everyday wear. Wearing panties and female jeans have become a regular thing for me. I do wear feminine nightwear when I sleep because I find that comfortable. I haven't had any urges to purge all of my female clothing if that's what you're wondering. In other words, when it comes to what I wear I don't go back and forth between wearing exclusively female or male clothing.Ok. Sounds to some extent like me. I have a really hard time finding male clothes that fit me good, always have because of my proportions (tall and slim). I like tight clothes. When I was younger I always purged my items eventually. I haven't purged now since when I started dressing more seriously (this spring). And I have no intentions of doing so in the future.
(02-11-2012, 08:30 PM)flamesabers Wrote: I think something else to consider is whether crossdressing more of a hobby for you or an everyday thing?When I was young it was far between the occasions. When I was home alone or so, which wasn't often. This spring I started buying some clothes and crossdress like once a week, the first couple of times it was such a boost. I felt euphoria during and after the session. It felt good to let something out that I hadn't let out in a while. Afterwards I'd go back to normal boy mode and just feel a little better then usual inside. Then during the summer and fall my crossdressing has evolved to an everyday thing. Not outside of course but in my home where I live alone. Just one female item on the body on a normal evening at home makes a difference.
(02-11-2012, 09:15 PM)aoz Wrote: I don't think mirifica "turned" you from CD to TG. I think a lot of trans folks start out with what they perceive as crossdressing, when really it's just a first step. I was what I considered to be a crossdresser, but really I always had transgender thoughts, but it never occurred to me that I could do anything about them. Then the more I crossdressed the more I wanted to, so I started to crossdress 24/7. Then one day a friend asked me why I didn't transition, and it clicked. I never considered it an option because it was so expensive, but once I really thought rationally about it I realized there is nothing better that money can buy.
So I started researching and realized I could manage hormone replacement on my own, and feminize my body with exercise, massage and plant medicine.
so I think you were probably always TG and just never completely realized it, just indulging the urges with crossdressing until you started wanting more and more. Now pandora's box has been opened, and you will probably find that there is no turning back
(03-11-2012, 02:03 PM)Mandy88 Wrote: The thing that makes me doubt that I'm TG is that I have never, never felt I knew. I read a lot of TG people saying they always knew this, well good for you, I wish I knew too.![]()
I have never considered this in a serious manner at all. That started with the PM experience, and at first I was like "get out, don't be ridiculous"..
I'm happy for you! So you didn't know at all at some point then?
Mandy