Ahhhh, well fist off I'm not so great at writing so please forgive me in advance. Ok I guess if I'm really going to go down this route I have to start opening up. My story is kind of like most others, it started at a young age, with snatching moms clothing that she didn't wear anymore. Then she caught me one day and it kind of stopped for awhile. Then a few years later my grandpa had health problems and we moved in with him so mom could take care of him, and it was great for me, cause I chose to live in the big basement and be all by myself, and I raided the house for as many of grandmas old things as I could find, till he passed a year later. Then several years on down the road, I had a girlfriend, and she had problems with her mother, and my parents were the kind that wouldn't turn anyone away so she came to stay with us, and it started again, she had the most beautiful party and dance dresses, and I kept it well hidden, but eventually we just kind of drifted apart, which was ok cause we were not really compatible, she liked to be in charge and I'm the kind of person that won't be bossed around by anyone. Then jump forward in time several years, I meet a woman and had a child at a pretty young age, she was with a woman before me, and as I found out latter was just looking for someone to get her pregnant and a child support check I believe. But the deep feelings really started to come out with her, one night she asked me to wear her underwear, then it just grew from there, it evolved into a bedroom thing, to every thing she bought she got two of so we could match when no one was home, along with full make overs and all that good stuff, but one day I was tired of her wasting my money faster then I could make it on things like $400 cell phone bills and expensive dinners for her sister on my credit cards so I quit my job and told her to earn our living, and one day when I went to work for a job in another state, when I got home a few days later she had taken my son and everything I owned. Then 2 years down the road, she found out that not everyone would put up with her and asked for another chance, and me being the idiot I am that is to quick to forgive, plus the fact I missed my son, and she was doing everything dirty, possible to keep me from my kid she could I gave her another chance. And it evolved even more from there, to her wishing I had breasts and more, basically being treated like the girl I felt was inside me. But again I got tired of her a few years later, cause she had not changed a bit. Now as for my current situation, I'm 32, I am a care giver, so I don't have to worry about the being accepted at my job part, my mother...... well....... she's had a bunch of strokes, I been in front of her in everything but a wig and she hasn't said one word, I don't think she even notices, my dad though he has mentioned my crossdressing before when we argue so I know he knows. Lately I've been testing the water, using excuses about all my clothing being dirty and having to rummage in the ex's/my things to find something till they get washed, and he hasn't said anything, he has seen me in my favorite ankle length skirt. so if he didn't out right just accept it, I know my dad, he might not be happy at first but he'll get over it. As for friends, I don't keep many, the ones that I do have, either have no problem with gay people, or have gay relatives so I don't see why they would have a problem with a transgendered friend, if they do I don't care anyway I have no problem cutting tie's. And my son, well first off I suspect, he might be in some of the early feelings myself, sometimes he acts like a girly girl, he loves singing along to Miranda Lambert and Kelli Pickler, and the girls in his life can talk him into playing dress up at the drop of a hat. His mother expressed that her son "might be a fag" to me ( I know it's messed up that his lesbian mother would have a problem with his sexuality) but I just told her I'd talk to him about it. Now I didn't tell him about me, but anyway I had a chat with my son and made sure he knew I don't care what he is or does as long as he is happy, he expressed a interest so, I bought him a dress and a short set and put them in the closet and told him they were there if he wanted them. He hasn't touched them but I don't know if it was just a phase or if he is trying to do something to make myself or his mom happy, because he is the kind of kid that will tell you he likes something or want's to do something because he thinks it will make the person happy, he tries to hard to please others. But all that aside I don't think he would care either as long as we still have our strong relationship and I still take him hunting and fishing and to amusement parks and stuff. Then there is my best friends, my internet gaming buddys I've known for years, I know if I told them I'd probably get jokes about what color my panties are tonight and "send us a pic of your boob's" for a few weeks but they would accept it. But I'm 32 years old and It's time to make a choice in my life either keep in the rough know all do all mountain man life I've been trying to live or take the step and become the woman I've been dreaming about for years, I done it all just like you guys, had the moments were I throw out all my thing, then went back to it, and I'm at a point in my life were if I were to go threw with it I would not care if anyone had something to bad about it and I can get the money to follow threw if I stop wasting it on all the stupid stuff I buy, I love the shooting sports and If I see a old rifle or something for $100 I can't pass up on it, then I look at the bad finish and think I need to refinish it so I run out and Buy $500 worth of sand blasting and parkerizeing gear. But I would like to say I've never been suicidal over my feelings, I love life to much to even think about that, even if I do feel I'm in the wrong body, I'm just not happy, and sometimes I get a little stressed out thinking about it. As for the pm, I'm sorry I didn't word it right, I started taking it for the feminizing effects, but got the gall bladder as a bonus, I was taking 3000mg a day then as I got low on my last order tapered it down to 2000 a day my last measurements if I did it right show I have gained about 1/2 to 1 inch in the chest and my butt feels a bit bigger, but I've came to realize that it's not the miracle transformation pill I was thinking it was, but I'm still taking it hoping for more feminizing effects but mainly because it has stopped my gall bladder pains. And now Like I said I feel it's time in life to make a choice, there are only 4 things holding me back, 1. If I can't make a some what passable woman, I've though about getting the virtual ffs and see what that comes back like and base my decision off that, I don't have to be a beauty queen, but I don't want to look like a 60 year old drill sargent in a dress. 2. I love the gun range out in redneck country, I like the people, I like the place, but heee hillbillys and transgenderd people don't mix, but there are other places to start over. 3. money I've got it in my head that $5000 would be a good starting point to get the therapy, endo and hrt going, from there I would be able work off of a budget of maby at most $5000 a year from there. Then my father is at the age were in a couple years he will have to start taking money out of his 401k yearly and I'm pretty sure I could talk him into helping me out with srs, ffs, etc. 4.Then there is my son and how he would deal with having a lesbian mother and a transgender father. Sorry for the wall of text but you asked
Btw yep 454 is for the motor, I love vintage cars as well.