Please bear with me as this is a long post.
A few months ago I asked if anyone else had any knowledge of a very odd hormone balance I was experiencing (low-end but normal serum Testosterone and "virtually non-existent" free Testosterone). I could find nothing anywhere that discussed this odd discordance and my doctor was completely puzzled.
Now let's go back about 13 months. That's when my gender dysphoria first reached the point that I started NBE for the first time (at the age of 53) and really ramped up the cross-dressing. I started with Lucille Sorella's Flat-to_Fem program -- FG, SP, RC, WY, etc. The acceleration of the dysphoria could well correspond to a dramatic change in my hormonal balance (as referenced above) even though I didn't discover the imbalance until January of this year.
About a month later (in June 2012) I noticed significant "white spots" developing on my hands, especially my right hand. I went to the dermatologist and was diagnosed with "late-onset vitiligo". Since most people are unfamiliar with vitiligo, it is a spontaneous "de-pigmantation" of the skin (that's what affected Michael Jackson, and why he wore that glove on one hand). The primary spot I had was about the size of a silver dollar (but more oval in shape with irregular boundaries). The doctor prescribed pseudo-catalase cream and I started using a hand-held "UVB" lamp to try and spark re-pigmantation of the affected areas.
Now it seems that the two different conditions are actually related and that both were caused by a very strong immune response within my body.
My immune system is (and has always been) unusually strong. In the 32 years I have been working as an adult I have used about 10 sick days total. I just don't get sick, and even when I do catch a cold or a bug it is usually much less severe and much shorter in duration than most others experience.
So what could cause such a strong immune response, and especially one that seems to target the cells that produce melanin (melanocytes)?
Three months ago, on a follow-up visit to my dermatologist, he noticed a small but suspicious growth on my right arm. He took a sample and ordered a biopsy. The growth was a "basal cell carcinoma", which is a common and not particularly dangerous form of skin cancer. The following week he removed the entire carcinoma, stitched me up and scheduled a follow-up full body exam for May 24.
During that exam (a week ago this past Friday) he saw another suspicious growth that concerned him much more. This lesion is a "lentigo" with multiple and irregular colors. He took another sample and has ordered another biopsy. While we are still waiting for conclusive results, this growth appears to be melanoma.
So the question is -- was the immune response I experienced (and am apparently still experiencing) caused by my body's attempt to fight melanoma? The same anti-bodies that attack melanoma cells can attack normal melanocytes as well. When melanocytes die the skin develops vitiligo.
The greatest concern I have now is that in most cases when an immune response that causes vitiligo is indeed brought on by melanoma, it generally happens after the melanoma has spread to the lymph nodes (stage III metastatic melanoma).
The reason the biopsy is taking much longer than normal (my first one took two days) is that the doctor analyzing the tissue has to look for signs of "regressed melanoma" as well as "active melanoma". Simply put, my immune response could completely shrink the original skin tumor and there may be no melanoma cells present at all, but that does not preclude the likelihood that the cancer has already spread to my sentinel lymph nodes (if it was there in the first place).
The presence of the other two indicators (significant hormone imbalance and late-onset vitiligo), when presented with the irregular lentigo, strongly indicates metastatic melanoma. If this turns out to be the case then I will undergo a battery of additional tests (lymph node dissections and biopsies, x-rays, and most likely a CAT scan) to determine how far the melanoma may have spread. If it is in my sentinel lymph nodes only, the melanoma is stage III and my life expectancy is around 60 months. If it has spread to other nodes, or if it has spread to any of my internal organs, the melanoma is stage IV and my life expectancy drops to 8-10 months.
Of course my family and I are still hoping for the best. There is still a chance that there is no melanoma (and never was any) and the other indicators are coincidental. There's also a chance that even if it is melanoma my body's strong immune system has kept it in check and it hasn't spread beyond the lesion on my arm.
I may be a less frequent visitor to this forum as my priorities have understandably changed somewhat, but I will try and keep everyone updated if I get any major news.
Misty
A few months ago I asked if anyone else had any knowledge of a very odd hormone balance I was experiencing (low-end but normal serum Testosterone and "virtually non-existent" free Testosterone). I could find nothing anywhere that discussed this odd discordance and my doctor was completely puzzled.
Now let's go back about 13 months. That's when my gender dysphoria first reached the point that I started NBE for the first time (at the age of 53) and really ramped up the cross-dressing. I started with Lucille Sorella's Flat-to_Fem program -- FG, SP, RC, WY, etc. The acceleration of the dysphoria could well correspond to a dramatic change in my hormonal balance (as referenced above) even though I didn't discover the imbalance until January of this year.
About a month later (in June 2012) I noticed significant "white spots" developing on my hands, especially my right hand. I went to the dermatologist and was diagnosed with "late-onset vitiligo". Since most people are unfamiliar with vitiligo, it is a spontaneous "de-pigmantation" of the skin (that's what affected Michael Jackson, and why he wore that glove on one hand). The primary spot I had was about the size of a silver dollar (but more oval in shape with irregular boundaries). The doctor prescribed pseudo-catalase cream and I started using a hand-held "UVB" lamp to try and spark re-pigmantation of the affected areas.
Now it seems that the two different conditions are actually related and that both were caused by a very strong immune response within my body.
My immune system is (and has always been) unusually strong. In the 32 years I have been working as an adult I have used about 10 sick days total. I just don't get sick, and even when I do catch a cold or a bug it is usually much less severe and much shorter in duration than most others experience.
So what could cause such a strong immune response, and especially one that seems to target the cells that produce melanin (melanocytes)?
Three months ago, on a follow-up visit to my dermatologist, he noticed a small but suspicious growth on my right arm. He took a sample and ordered a biopsy. The growth was a "basal cell carcinoma", which is a common and not particularly dangerous form of skin cancer. The following week he removed the entire carcinoma, stitched me up and scheduled a follow-up full body exam for May 24.
During that exam (a week ago this past Friday) he saw another suspicious growth that concerned him much more. This lesion is a "lentigo" with multiple and irregular colors. He took another sample and has ordered another biopsy. While we are still waiting for conclusive results, this growth appears to be melanoma.
So the question is -- was the immune response I experienced (and am apparently still experiencing) caused by my body's attempt to fight melanoma? The same anti-bodies that attack melanoma cells can attack normal melanocytes as well. When melanocytes die the skin develops vitiligo.
The greatest concern I have now is that in most cases when an immune response that causes vitiligo is indeed brought on by melanoma, it generally happens after the melanoma has spread to the lymph nodes (stage III metastatic melanoma).
The reason the biopsy is taking much longer than normal (my first one took two days) is that the doctor analyzing the tissue has to look for signs of "regressed melanoma" as well as "active melanoma". Simply put, my immune response could completely shrink the original skin tumor and there may be no melanoma cells present at all, but that does not preclude the likelihood that the cancer has already spread to my sentinel lymph nodes (if it was there in the first place).
The presence of the other two indicators (significant hormone imbalance and late-onset vitiligo), when presented with the irregular lentigo, strongly indicates metastatic melanoma. If this turns out to be the case then I will undergo a battery of additional tests (lymph node dissections and biopsies, x-rays, and most likely a CAT scan) to determine how far the melanoma may have spread. If it is in my sentinel lymph nodes only, the melanoma is stage III and my life expectancy is around 60 months. If it has spread to other nodes, or if it has spread to any of my internal organs, the melanoma is stage IV and my life expectancy drops to 8-10 months.
Of course my family and I are still hoping for the best. There is still a chance that there is no melanoma (and never was any) and the other indicators are coincidental. There's also a chance that even if it is melanoma my body's strong immune system has kept it in check and it hasn't spread beyond the lesion on my arm.
I may be a less frequent visitor to this forum as my priorities have understandably changed somewhat, but I will try and keep everyone updated if I get any major news.
Misty
