08-07-2013, 03:57 PM
I feel like most the ladies on this forum are like family. So I feel I can say anything on here and not be judged. I'm going to be going through divorce soon and need some advice.
Basically in a nutshell my marriage has went to hell in a handbasket and I'm fed up with it. I've been married for over 5 years, the first 2 years were amazing, then he started to change. For the past 3 years I've gone through emotional hell with him, hot and cold, etc. He has brought up divorce so many times I can't even count them. Last year in August I caught him cheating with another woman, he claims to not have had sex with her, but he was chatting online with her, camming with her, talking nonstop on the phone, having phone sex and cyber sex, and even told her he loved her. I found out because I saw the messages on his computer and looked further into it. When I confronted him he blamed everything on me... it was all my fault, not his. At this point he was NOT working. He was going to school and stayed at home while I worked 70+ hours at work in order to support him in pursuing what he wanted in a career. But it was all my fault right? So anyway, I then took his phone and started texting the other woman as him until she called. Then I asked her what she thought she was doing messing with a married man. Get this... he told her we were going through a divorce and once it was final he would be with her. We made love just a few days before I caught him... yea really sounds like divorce doesn't it?
So anyway, last year he lost 70 lbs and ever since then he's changed even more. He makes me feel like I'm a fatass and not good enough for him. When I still work to support him and his ambitions. For the past 3 years it has only been me trying to keep us together, never him. So I'm at this point where I'm just done, and I feel I deserve better than this. I just wanted to reach out and vent a bit, get some advice from ladies who have been through divorce if possible, I'd greatly appreciate it.
To let you ladies know how he's gotten worse in the past few weeks... he went down from about 215 down to 145 lbs last year, he's 5'11 so at this weight his bones were showing and it was disgusting. After me having an intervention with him he started eating like he should again and started working out at the gym. Now he's about 160ish and about 9% body fat, so he's where he needs to be. Last week he told me he's going back on his diet cause he's still fat. He wants to be back down to 145ish. He also said he's going to get his ears pierced and start gauging them out. I told him I thought that was hideous and he would be stupid to do that as he wouldn't be able to get decent jobs that way. But he said he's doing it anyway.
We work at the same place just different departments. Everyone at work says he's way too immature to be with me, he acts like a kid, etc. And that he acts like he's single when not around me.
I think I'm at that point where I'm just done with him and I want to eventually find a real man, not a little boy. Any advice would be much appreciated. This is the reason why I haven't been as active on here nor am I doing my program like I should.
Basically in a nutshell my marriage has went to hell in a handbasket and I'm fed up with it. I've been married for over 5 years, the first 2 years were amazing, then he started to change. For the past 3 years I've gone through emotional hell with him, hot and cold, etc. He has brought up divorce so many times I can't even count them. Last year in August I caught him cheating with another woman, he claims to not have had sex with her, but he was chatting online with her, camming with her, talking nonstop on the phone, having phone sex and cyber sex, and even told her he loved her. I found out because I saw the messages on his computer and looked further into it. When I confronted him he blamed everything on me... it was all my fault, not his. At this point he was NOT working. He was going to school and stayed at home while I worked 70+ hours at work in order to support him in pursuing what he wanted in a career. But it was all my fault right? So anyway, I then took his phone and started texting the other woman as him until she called. Then I asked her what she thought she was doing messing with a married man. Get this... he told her we were going through a divorce and once it was final he would be with her. We made love just a few days before I caught him... yea really sounds like divorce doesn't it?
So anyway, last year he lost 70 lbs and ever since then he's changed even more. He makes me feel like I'm a fatass and not good enough for him. When I still work to support him and his ambitions. For the past 3 years it has only been me trying to keep us together, never him. So I'm at this point where I'm just done, and I feel I deserve better than this. I just wanted to reach out and vent a bit, get some advice from ladies who have been through divorce if possible, I'd greatly appreciate it.
To let you ladies know how he's gotten worse in the past few weeks... he went down from about 215 down to 145 lbs last year, he's 5'11 so at this weight his bones were showing and it was disgusting. After me having an intervention with him he started eating like he should again and started working out at the gym. Now he's about 160ish and about 9% body fat, so he's where he needs to be. Last week he told me he's going back on his diet cause he's still fat. He wants to be back down to 145ish. He also said he's going to get his ears pierced and start gauging them out. I told him I thought that was hideous and he would be stupid to do that as he wouldn't be able to get decent jobs that way. But he said he's doing it anyway.
We work at the same place just different departments. Everyone at work says he's way too immature to be with me, he acts like a kid, etc. And that he acts like he's single when not around me.
I think I'm at that point where I'm just done with him and I want to eventually find a real man, not a little boy. Any advice would be much appreciated. This is the reason why I haven't been as active on here nor am I doing my program like I should.
