[Lotus]

Its powerful!

I suppose it's hard for people other than ourselves to try to explain why we feel this way. Some would wrap it all up with a bow and give it a label(hate labels),or over analyze the hell out of it. Cause that's what we do when you can't rationalize someones behavior, right?, or say their just perverse!. Wrong!!!

How do you tell your loved one, hey....there's something I haven't told you about me,....we'll thats a start. Its not easy, but how hard is the burden for us to give that news? well, it's equally life shattering.

One might ask, how long have you felt this way or why do you feel this way? Excellent questions, maybe one answer might be (I've had this over powering desire to be more female that I can't control, or every time I think about it, it takes my breath away, or my subconscious keeps saying....must grow boobies, must grow boobies, over and over, and on and on).


This feeling is so powerful and impossible to keep under wraps (especially when you start to pop) and you find yourself doing things that normally you wouldn't do. Its seductive and sensual and more potent than any drug you can think of. Some want a full transition, while others want to keep their male parts and just grow boobies and get curves. If you have a loved one who can and will except this change is special, if the shoe were on the other foot, I'd liked to think I could do the same.


P.S. This would be an open conversation with a loved one or, someone who just doesn't get it. But what the hell do I know, this is therapy for me!!

Take Care,

[Lotus]

How to tell the kids?
*******************

We've heard some of the conversations on telling their spouses about doing NBE, or to transition. But how would you try to explain this to your kids, adult or otherwise?


This could be one of the worst things to try and explain!

[Missed Miss]

What REALLY cheeses me off about this is that NO ONE has to get approval or ask permission from others to do any other kind of body modification!! All the way from getting a different haircut or colour and changing your dressing or make-up style to tattoos, piercings and having surgery done to look like a lizard!! But, if all you want to do is look and dress more fem or grow tits, or, heaven forbid, even BECOME a woman (or man), you have to BEG for approval and acceptance from EVERYONE!! And even then you STILL stand the risk of being tortured and/or killed by someone of small intellect who thinks you're a disease and it's up to THEM to rid the world of you!! Why the hell can't WE just do what we want to make us happy without worrying about what others think?? Sure, I COMPLETELY understand the problem of having a wife and/or kids and taking them into consideration over this and the fact that a love relationship is for TWO people, not just one, and the feelings of BOTH have to be considered, but, if someone's not in such a relationship, it should be NOBODY else's business what you choose to do with your own body!!
On the other end of the stick, why is it perfectly okay for women to look as butch as they want, but not for men to look as fem as they want?[/quote]

[TibetanPrincess]

How to tell the kids?
*******************

We've heard some of the conversations on telling their spouses about doing NBE,or to transition.But how would you try to explain this to your kids,adult or otherwise?


This could be one of the worst things to try and explain!

Many (like yourself) would wish others would just accept things as they are, but you're right, there has to be some explanation that they (loved ones), themselves can identify with, or else its like asking a vegan to eat a steak. "Why??"

You have to think like the outsider on it. "Why would there be a need for that?" "why now after all these years?" I think the longer they see you as a certain way, the harder it is too accept you, or "the new you" that was always inside.
Children and even other fam members may think you or that person as selfish, depending how young they are . Especially if it breaks/ alters or destroys the family (for some cases).

All they know is that you carry a strong desire to embody certain characteristics which by nature is generally not ideal, but does happen from imbalances. Such a high chance they will never understand it and just render you confused, "off," or with perverse or fetish-freakish tendencies etc.

You have to just accept that. As long as they still love you at the end of the day, that's all that should matter. I guess it will just remain to question for each individual, "is it worth it?" And most won't know until they tell their kids.

Isabella would have been perfect to ask this very question. Sadly she hasn't been here in so long.

[Missed Miss]

Many (like yourself) would wish others would just accept things as they are, but you're right, there has to be some explanation that they (loved ones), themselves can identify with, or else its like asking a vegan to eat a steak. "Why??"

You have to think like the outsider on it. "Why would there be a need for that?" "why now after all these years?" I think the longer they see you as a certain way, the harder it is too accept you, or "the new you" that was always inside.

All they know is that you carry a strong desire to embody certain characteristics which by nature is generally not ideal, but does happen . Such a high chance they will never understand it and just render you confused, "off," or with perverse or fetish-freakish tendencies.

Being transgendered is not a perversion, nor is it a fetish!! In almost every case, a transgendered person has been dealing with this issue their entire life!! So many have this idea that they can fix themselves by getting married and having kids, but that rarely ever works.
Getting a tattoo or a piercing is more a fetish, and, in some cases, even a perversion, because it's not something some feels they HAVE to have from day 1 just to make themselves feel more comfortable in their own body! It's a decision someone makes for themselves much later in life.

[TibetanPrincess]

Many (like yourself) would wish others would just accept things as they are, but you're right, there has to be some explanation that they (loved ones), themselves can identify with, or else its like asking a vegan to eat a steak. "Why??"

You have to think like the outsider on it. "Why would there be a need for that?" "why now after all these years?" I think the longer they see you as a certain way, the harder it is too accept you, or "the new you" that was always inside.

All they know is that you carry a strong desire to embody certain characteristics which by nature is generally not ideal, but does happen . Such a high chance they will never understand it and just render you confused, "off," or with perverse or fetish-freakish tendencies.

Being transgendered is not a perversion, nor is it a fetish!! In almost every case, a transgendered person has been dealing with this issue their entire life!! So many have this idea that they can fix themselves by getting married and having kids, but that rarely ever works.
Getting a tattoo or a piercing is more a fetish, and, in some cases, even a perversion, because it's not something some feels they HAVE to have from day 1 just to make themselves feel more comfortable in their own body! It's a decision someone makes for themselves much later in life.

Hey, I'm just saying what many straight people say. (Edit) "Fetish" as in the need for crossdressing (edit). They cannot relate in any way to your childhood/from-birth struggles, therefore, they'll most likely never understand. People like my straight aunt will never change their opinion on my gay cousin's lifestyle, so we just don't talk about stuff like that.

The problem with the kids and the wife is the betrayal factor. Its not so much that you are this and that way, its the with holding secret keeping and lying for some that do it. They see you this way for so long and then boom! That person has either died to them or there is that fear factor of not knowing who you really are.

Its sad because you are right, many just try to live the ideal for so long and then bam, it hits them one morning, "why am I struggling so hard to be something Im NOT!!! Life shouldn't have to be this way, I'm sick of it!"

Half your fault (for living the lie - bless your hearts) and half of nature's or society's I guess. Before you know it, you are trapped!

[Missed Miss]

Many (like yourself) would wish others would just accept things as they are, but you're right, there has to be some explanation that they (loved ones), themselves can identify with, or else its like asking a vegan to eat a steak. "Why??"

You have to think like the outsider on it. "Why would there be a need for that?" "why now after all these years?" I think the longer they see you as a certain way, the harder it is too accept you, or "the new you" that was always inside.

All they know is that you carry a strong desire to embody certain characteristics which by nature is generally not ideal, but does happen . Such a high chance they will never understand it and just render you confused, "off," or with perverse or fetish-freakish tendencies.

Being transgendered is not a perversion, nor is it a fetish!! In almost every case, a transgendered person has been dealing with this issue their entire life!! So many have this idea that they can fix themselves by getting married and having kids, but that rarely ever works.
Getting a tattoo or a piercing is more a fetish, and, in some cases, even a perversion, because it's not something some feels they HAVE to have from day 1 just to make themselves feel more comfortable in their own body! It's a decision someone makes for themselves much later in life.

Hey, I'm just saying what many straight people say. They cannot relate in any way to your childhood/from-birth struggles, therefore, they'll most likely never understand. People like my straight aunt will never change their opinion on my gay cousin's lifestyle, so we just don't talk about stuff like that.

The problem with the kids and the wife is the betrayal factor. Its not so much that you are this and that way, its the with holding secret keeping and lying for some that do it. They see you this way for so long and then boom! That person has either died to them or there is that fear factor of not knowing who you really are.

Its sad because you are right, many just try to live the ideal for so long and then bam, it hits them one morning, "why am I struggling so hard to be something Im NOT!!! Life shouldn't have to be this way, I'm sick of it!"

Half your fault (for living the lie - bless your hearts) and half of nature's or society's I guess. Before you know it, you are trapped!

I know. I'm not bitching at you, just stating some facts, partly in case someone else might see this that thinks that way and it might help them see what's actually going on, partly to help bolster those that want to have that done.
I think that, if you ARE this way and want a standard male/female love relationship, you REALLY should go INTO it the way you ARE, the way you feel more comfortable with yourself, so the one you're going after sees what they have to deal with up front instead of suddenly dropping the T-bomb in their lap years and children down the road and they can decide from the get-go if they really want to be involved with something like that. If the attraction is REALLY there and genuine, it'll happen if you're in full fem mode or not! It's like being a woman and stuffing your bra, wearing a wig and lots of make-up just to get a guy! Then, he gets you home or marries you and you take off the mask/war paint, remove the wig and take the socks/Charmin (NOW you know why you shouldn't squeeze the Charmin!) from your bra and you expect him to still love you for you. You've been lying to HIM the whole time making him think you're something you're not. How can you expect him to love you for YOU, when, up until the grand unveiling, he had no real idea who you really were? Personally, I prefer my g/f (if I can EVER get one again) to wear no more make-up than lipstick, eyeliner and MAYBE a bit of rouge! I want to see HER, NOT the person the make-up makes her out to be. Besides, so VERY many girls are VERY pretty without the make-up!! Why try to improve on perfection??
So, in ALL cases, really, one SHOULD ALWAYS be true to oneself!! One is always either lying to a potential lover/spouse now and having to deal with it later or lying to oneself just to make others happy at the cost of one's own happiness.

[Lenneth]

What REALLY cheeses me off about this is that NO ONE has to get approval or ask permission from others to do any other kind of body modification!! All the way from getting a different haircut or colour and changing your dressing or make-up style to tattoos, piercings and having surgery done to look like a lizard!!

Welcome to the Club, Although I have little interest in SRS (partly due to extreme fear of surgery, partly due to it just seeming to me like an extreme band-aid of sorts, and being mostly ok with remaining male) If a person can get surgery to make themselves look like a Cat/Lizard etc and it isn't considered to be a mental issue why should a gender swap be?

But, if all you want to do is look and dress more fem or grow tits, or, heaven forbid, even BECOME a woman (or man), you have to BEG for approval and acceptance from EVERYONE!! And even then you STILL stand the risk of being tortured and/or killed by someone of small intellect who thinks you're a disease and it's up to THEM to rid the world of you!!

please don't get me started on that, particularly with having relatives who's views are "almost" as bad as you described.

On the other end of the stick, why is it perfectly okay for women to look as butch as they want, but not for men to look as fem as they want?

I could type a an encyclopedia long rant on this myself, and I am currently restraining myself from doing just that, it is a something that has long been like a lit match to a vat of gasoline with me.

[TibetanPrincess]

Many (like yourself) would wish others would just accept things as they are, but you're right, there has to be some explanation that they (loved ones), themselves can identify with, or else its like asking a vegan to eat a steak. "Why??"

You have to think like the outsider on it. "Why would there be a need for that?" "why now after all these years?" I think the longer they see you as a certain way, the harder it is too accept you, or "the new you" that was always inside.

All they know is that you carry a strong desire to embody certain characteristics which by nature is generally not ideal, but does happen . Such a high chance they will never understand it and just render you confused, "off," or with perverse or fetish-freakish tendencies.

Being transgendered is not a perversion, nor is it a fetish!! In almost every case, a transgendered person has been dealing with this issue their entire life!! So many have this idea that they can fix themselves by getting married and having kids, but that rarely ever works.
Getting a tattoo or a piercing is more a fetish, and, in some cases, even a perversion, because it's not something some feels they HAVE to have from day 1 just to make themselves feel more comfortable in their own body! It's a decision someone makes for themselves much later in life.

Hey, I'm just saying what many straight people say. They cannot relate in any way to your childhood/from-birth struggles, therefore, they'll most likely never understand. People like my straight aunt will never change their opinion on my gay cousin's lifestyle, so we just don't talk about stuff like that.

The problem with the kids and the wife is the betrayal factor. Its not so much that you are this and that way, its the with holding secret keeping and lying for some that do it. They see you this way for so long and then boom! That person has either died to them or there is that fear factor of not knowing who you really are.

Its sad because you are right, many just try to live the ideal for so long and then bam, it hits them one morning, "why am I struggling so hard to be something Im NOT!!! Life shouldn't have to be this way, I'm sick of it!"

Half your fault (for living the lie - bless your hearts) and half of nature's or society's I guess. Before you know it, you are trapped!

I know. I'm not bitching at you, just stating some facts, partly in case someone else might see this that thinks that way and it might help them see what's actually going on, partly to help bolster those that want to have that done.
I think that, if you ARE this way and want a standard male/female love relationship, you REALLY should go INTO it the way you ARE, the way you feel more comfortable with yourself, so the one you're going after sees what they have to deal with up front instead of suddenly dropping the T-bomb in their lap years and children down the road and they can decide from the get-go if they really want to be involved with something like that. If the attraction is REALLY there and genuine, it'll happen if you're in full fem mode or not! It's like being a woman and stuffing your bra, wearing a wig and lots of make-up just to get a guy! Then, he gets you home or marries you and you take off the mask/war paint, remove the wig and take the socks/Charmin (NOW you know why you shouldn't squeeze the Charmin!) from your bra and you expect him to still love you for you. You've been lying to HIM the whole time making him think you're something you're not. How can you expect him to love you for YOU, when, up until the grand unveiling, he had no real idea who you really were? Personally, I prefer my g/f (if I can EVER get one again) to wear no more make-up than lipstick, eyeliner and MAYBE a bit of rouge! I want to see HER, NOT the person the make-up makes her out to be. Besides, so VERY many girls are VERY pretty without the make-up!! Why try to improve on perfection??
So, in ALL cases, really, one SHOULD ALWAYS be true to oneself!! One is always either lying to a potential lover/spouse now and having to deal with it later or lying to oneself just to make others happy at the cost of one's own happiness.

Totally agree! Its gotta be known from the start. Be who you are. And yes, don't squeeze the Charmin! You'll be so dissapointed!

[Missed Miss]

What REALLY cheeses me off about this is that NO ONE has to get approval or ask permission from others to do any other kind of body modification!! All the way from getting a different haircut or colour and changing your dressing or make-up style to tattoos, piercings and having surgery done to look like a lizard!!

Welcome to the Club, Although I have little interest in SRS (partly due to extreme fear of surgery, partly due to it just seeming to me like an extreme band-aid of sorts, and being mostly ok with remaining male) If a person can get surgery to make themselves look like a Cat/Lizard etc and it isn't considered to be a mental issue why should a gender swap be?

EXACTLY!!
I'm okay with being a guy, too, but if I could step into a machine that'd make me all girl, I'd be one of the first in line!! If I could at LEAST just be a guy with nice big tits, that'd be great!!

But, if all you want to do is look and dress more fem or grow tits, or, heaven forbid, even BECOME a woman (or man), you have to BEG for approval and acceptance from EVERYONE!! And even then you STILL stand the risk of being tortured and/or killed by someone of small intellect who thinks you're a disease and it's up to THEM to rid the world of you!!

please don't get me started on that, particularly with having relatives who's views are "almost" as bad as you described.[/quote]

Oh, yeah! I know all about it! Until a few weeks ago, I worked with kid that was very religious and very anti-gay because god told him it's wrong and he's said a number of times that he has the right to kill gay people!!

On the other end of the stick, why is it perfectly okay for women to look as butch as they want, but not for men to look as fem as they want?

I could type a an encyclopedia long rant on this myself, and I am currently restraining myself from doing just that, it is a something that has long been like a lit match to a vat of gasoline with me.
[/quote]

Maybe we should!! Women can wear pants, but I can't wear a skirt! Mom will always argue, "They're WOMENS' pants!" Okay, so make skirts for men! I know they do, but even if I wore them instead of the fem ones I'd much prefer to wear, I'd STILL get ridiculed for it!! Maybe it's time men started demanding equal rights!!